Unwanted Gifts
Since I intended my last story for Xmas day, but posted it 10 days early... I decided to quickly pen another festive fantasy. It hasn't been proof read so could be full of errors. It doesn't even have a proper ending so could be continued at a later date... but I hope you enjoy it.
Happy Christmas!
~o0o~
As is the norm, my
sister and I try to guess what each of our gifts might be before
removing the wrapping paper. As she passed her gift to me, I
instantly guessed that it was some vinyl. It was obvious because I'd
bought myself a vinyl player with the money I'd got in Xmas tips from
my milk round. But is I took hold of the brightly wrapped parcel;
approximately twelve inches square and a quarter of an inch thick, I
quickly realised that it was too light to be what I'd initially
guessed. “A calendar?” I guessed, since it's light in weight and
slightly floppy. My sister smiled and shook her head. I ran my hands
over the paper, feeling for clues as to what's inside. It's mostly
flat, slightly lumpy here and there. “Wall art?” I guessed. She
shook her head. I couldn't guess so turned it over and pulled open
the snowman clad paper. Inside I found a square sheet of brown
corrugated cardboard which I grabbed and turned over. My heart jumped
into my mouth. I gasped. I gulped. I looked at my sister. A smug
smile covered her face. “You bitch!” I spat.
“Peter!” my dad
snapped.
“You promised!” I
growled.
“So did you.” she
dryly replied. “Now you won't have to go sneaking into my
things.”
“What is it?” Mum
asked.
Dolls and Dresses
To celebrate this blog getting one million page views, I'll publish my Christmas story a week early. But first of all, I'd like to say thank you to all my readers. THANK YOU!!!
This story isn't my best, but it is festive. Inspired by an excellent cartoon by RocketXpert (find him on Deviant Art)... set around Christmas 1983... somewhere in England.
Like all kids, Timothy is eagerly anticipating Christmas Day and all the gifts it brings. This year he's set his heart on adding an InterCity 125 train to his model railway layout, and goes to sleep each and every chilly December night dreaming of unwrapping this:
Meanwhile, Timothy's mother is having second thoughts about Christmas. In the background, the radio blasts out yet another festive pop song: ...he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake... She sighs and wonders if her son really deserves the Christmas gifts he's hoping for.
This story isn't my best, but it is festive. Inspired by an excellent cartoon by RocketXpert (find him on Deviant Art)... set around Christmas 1983... somewhere in England.
~o0o~
Like all kids, Timothy is eagerly anticipating Christmas Day and all the gifts it brings. This year he's set his heart on adding an InterCity 125 train to his model railway layout, and goes to sleep each and every chilly December night dreaming of unwrapping this:
Meanwhile, Timothy's mother is having second thoughts about Christmas. In the background, the radio blasts out yet another festive pop song: ...he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake... She sighs and wonders if her son really deserves the Christmas gifts he's hoping for.
Billy
When I was four years
old, my mother took me to a ballet class and I really enjoyed it. I
stuck with it for years but as I got older, I began getting teased by
the kids on the street and at school. By the age of eleven I decided
to give it up, in spite of the fact I'd just reached grade 4 and was
really proud of myself. I gave it up for several reasons; it's not
cool, I’d found new hobbies and beyond grade 4 it gets really hard
and really intense. I don't go to ballet
any more but I still get teased for it occasionally and still get called
'Billy' by a handful of kids. This often leads to the tiresome 'why
did he call you Billy' conversation. Even some of the girls think
it's a bit weird when they learn that I used to do ballet, and all
have to ask if I wore a tutu. “Nooo.” I groan. “Boys wear
shorts and a T-shirt, like Billy Elliot did.”
My mother understood my
reasons for wanting to quit, but told me that I shouldn't worry about
what other people say. It wasn't just because I was being teased that
I decided to quit my twice weekly ballet classes. It was taking up too much of my time and
I felt like I was just growing out of it. Plus, taking it beyond Grade 4 is
something only prospective professionals tend to do... and my waning
interest no longer justified the time, effort or expense of continuing. I'd also found new interests that I enjoyed more, such as playing cricket, making model kids, going karting and playing video games.
One afternoon at
school, Miss York, my English teacher asked if I'd stay behind after
class. Initially I thought that I must be in trouble for something,
so waited nervously whilst the other kids filtered out. Miss York is
also the school's Head of Drama. She tells me that she's looking for
cast members for the big play that's performed at the end of the
academic year, and asks if I do ballet. “No.” I reply. “Not any more.”
I added, informing her that I gave it up a year-and-a-half ago.
Shopping With Mother
Mum and I would visit the city every month or two. She likes the much bigger choice of clothes shops and bargain stores whilst I enjoy the gadget and media stores and visiting the museums. Mum likes galleries which can be tedious, depending on the exhibition... but the same can be said for the museums. This time, there's a new indoor market she wants to visit. It's set on three floors of some big old warehouse, so each floor is huge, filled with seemingly hundreds of little stores selling games and gadgets, records, furniture, junk, posters, vintage, modern and even military fashions... all sorts of stuff. There's almost nothing to buy but plenty to look at. It's almost a museum or art gallery in its own right.
Conditions of Inheritance
When I was little, I was convinced the house was haunted. Even in bright sunshine it was an imposing structure. We'd visit several times a year for a few days and I always looked forward to leaving. The joists creaked throughout the night and the nearby trees cast skeletal shadows across the moonlit walls. I always mistook the hoot of an owl for the mutterings of a ghost or ghoul... and in the mornings we had to endure Aunt Agatha and her housekeeper Bernice. Agatha's husband, Uncle Quentin was always away on business until he was lost at sea many years ago. With no children of her own, Agatha's approach to youngsters wasn't ideal. Seen and not heard was the way she saw it.
When I was young I felt it was just myself and my elder sister Mabel that she despised. But as I got a little older, I came to believe that she disliked pretty much everybody. Aunt Agatha was a cantankerous old bag. I don't think a single member of the family liked her either, but the various strands had a tendency to visit her two or three times a year. She's rich... stinking rich. She's also a childless widow and her various nephews, nieces and distant cousins were only interested in one thing: getting their hands on a chunk of her wealth. Agatha has already disinherited Uncle Albert because she didn't approve of his second marriage and often claimed she'd leave everything to charity since her own family are so unworthy of inheriting her wealth.
That didn't stop them from visiting and sucking up to her, trying to find favour and secure a place on her final Will and Testament. After Bernice passed away, Agatha managed to piss off the entire family when she took in one of my cousins as Bernice's replacement. It wasn't the fact that she had a new maid and housekeeper that pissed my mother and the rest of Agatha's nephews and nieces off... but the fact that she'd changed her Will to benefit Uncle Rupert and Aunt Beryl only... my mother and Agatha's other nieces and nephews would receive nothing, nilch, yada, zilch.
Some strands of the family turned their back on Agatha since they now have nothing to gain, but my mother and a handful of others continued to visit, sucking up and feigning friendship in the vain hope she'll leave them a portion of her wealth in her final Will & Testament.
A Birthday to Forget
My
sister and I are twins. We're fraternal twins, not identical twins,
but the number of people who ask if we are identical is beyond
belief! The fact that we don't look identical should be a clue but
no, people have to ask. Being twins, our birthday celebrations have
always been a joint affair. Last year I suggested we go paint-balling
and Sally thought it was a great idea. I invited two of my friends
and she invited two of hers and all six of us donned the camouflage
and took up arms before taking part in battles, skirmishes, campaigns
and missions. The photograph was taken before the first battle. It
didn't take long for our outfits to be covered in numerous splats of
red, yellow, green and blue paint. We all had a great time and talked
about it for weeks afterwards.
![]() |
| Back
row: Jordan, Mark, Peter (me). Front row: Kirsten, Sally (my sister), Mollie. |
This year, I suggested
we have another paint-ball party, but Sally wasn't keen for two
reasons. One; doing the same thing again is boring and unimaginative.
Two; it's her turn to think of something. Fair enough, I thought.
Although she didn't have any firm ideas beyond going to the cinema or
maybe the bowling alley. Sally finally decided that she wanted a 'traditional' party at
home with a few friends, a birthday buffet and plenty of party games. I thought
it sounded boring and unimaginative (and a little bit childish) but
it's her turn to choose so... whatever!
May Day
It
was a few weeks before Easter when the Cubs and Brownies began their
rehearsals for the May Pole dance. It was definitely more of a girl
thing than a boy thing; skipping around with garlands of flowers and
long lengths of ribbon. It was also the time of year when the
Brownies would be getting giddy about who would be chosen as this
year’s May Queen. The only difference this year is the fact that
Brown Owl had made a radical suggestion for updating the selection
system and for the first year ever, both girls and boys could be
nominated.
Initially we weren't
worried because no boy would ever nominate himself nor be chosen over
a girl. It was nothing more than an exercise in equality, balancing
boy's rights with women's rights, my mother claimed. But during the
May Pole dance class one Thursday evening, Brown Owl announced that
the eight nominees for this year's May Queen had been chosen. “...and
I'm delighted to inform you that we have five girls and three boys!”
We all gasped. The Cubs
began nervously grumbling amongst themselves whilst the Brownies
began whispering and giggling behind cupped hands. “I hope Roger
Fletcher's one of them!” one of the Brownies giggled. Roger
countered and suggested one of the younger Cubs. Other names were
suggested until the Cub Scout Leader quietened us down. Once we were
attentive, Brown Owl stepped forward and began to read a list of
names. “Jane Cleaver, Brian Preston...”
A host of gasps and
giggles erupted and somewhere in the background noise, one could just
make out Brian meekly mutter “Oh no.”
Brown Owl continued.
“Paula Baxter, Claire Woolford, Andrew Preston...” more giggles
and sniggers erupted. I looked over at Andrew who hung his head.
“Amanda Barton, Peter Jackson and Wendy Miles.”
It took a moment for it
to sink in. Initially I thought I’d misheard but the sniggers and
giggles and all the eyes glancing at me confirmed that I was on the
list. “What!?” I blurted. “How can I be on the list? ...I
didn't even nominate myself!”.
My Brother's a Greaser!
My brother's a greaser!
His hair is far too long and tatty, he rarely seems to wash and
spends every day wearing the same Harley Davidson T shirt, a smelly
old leather jacket, tattered jeans and his trusty old pair of
baseball boots... and he thinks he looks 'cool'. He looks like a
reject from a rock festival and I completely understand our mother's
embarrassment every time he leaves the house. He could wear a pair of
'nice' jeans but no... he prefers the ones with a hole in the knee,
frayed hems and greasy marks on the lap. What the neighbours must
think I'll never know. It wouldn't be so bad if he brushed his hair
once in a while... or even washed it! I'd post a picture of him if I'd bothered taking one. He's not what one would call photogenic so it never crossed my mind. Saying that, he used to be cute when he was younger, we've got plenty of old photos from before he grew his hair and wore what he was told rather than what he wanted.
Dreams or Nightmares?
“Don't look so
worried Peter.” my mother said. “I'm sure he's done this hundreds
of times before.”
“Well maybe not
hundreds....” the doctor said. “...but you've nothing to worry
about.” he assured.
'Nothing to worry
about'... that's easy for them to say. All I recall from last night's
dream was looking at myself in the mirror, clad in feminine underwear
and being told that the bra I wore was a 'special' training bra for
boys. 'Special' because it's designed in such a way that it cannot be
removed by the wearer. It's not the sort of dream that I want to
recall, either consciously or subconsciously. I seldom seem to have
'normal' dreams, just weird ones where I'm somehow forced or
encouraged to wear girl's clothes and more often than not, I wake in
a cold sweat and struggle to get back to sleep.
“Pay attention
Peter... the doctor's speaking to you.” my mother said as my mind
visibly wondered.
“Sorry.” I gulped.
“You were saying?”
“I was saying that
after a little dream analysis... we'll hopefully get to the bottom of
why you're not sleeping too well.” the doctor reiterated.
“Hopefully.” I
gulped.
“Now, if you'll just
concentrate on the watch, and try to clear your mind of all other
thoughts....”
The watch swung like a
pendulum. I followed it as best I could and tried to clear my mind
whilst the doctor calmly recited a repetitive string of
hypno-clichés; relax, clear your mind, concentrate on the watch,
your eyelids are heavy, you're feeling drowsy, empty your mind,
follow the watch, blah blah, blah.
“Right well thank
you... we won't keep you any longer Doctor.” my mother said. “Come
on Peter... let's get you home.”
Peter's Room part two
After
discovering that his school friend Peter is a petticoated boy, John
has been invited
to Peter's birthday party. Of course John would rather avoid the party since his petticoated
friend will have to wear a party dress for the occasion, but John's mother suggests that
he shows his friend some support by not only attending his birthday party,
but by wearing a party dress too. [read part one here]
to Peter's birthday party. Of course John would rather avoid the party since his petticoated
friend will have to wear a party dress for the occasion, but John's mother suggests that
he shows his friend some support by not only attending his birthday party,
but by wearing a party dress too. [read part one here]
John is dressed and
ready to go to the party, but with all the worry surrounding his
outfit, choosing Peter a birthday present, let alone a birthday card
has completely slipped his mind. Fortunately his mother has thought
of that and has a card ready and waiting for him to sign, plus and
ready wrapped birthday present. “What is it?” John asked. “Oh
Mum he won't want that!” he exclaims when he's told that he'll be
giving his friend a Disney Princess colouring book. He signs the card
and seals the envelope, hoping his friend won't be too offended with
such a girlie gift and card. John's mother asks if he's ready to go
and with his handbag, gift and card in hand, he is. Now he has to
take the giant leap from the front door to the car, which he finds
panic inducing to say the least. The little solace the front seat
offers is just enough to calm his nerves, but when his mother tells
him to sit in the back, he begins to protest. “Petticoated boys
don't sit in the front, they sit in the back.” she tells him. “Now
do as you're told and get in the back.” she insists. In a clear
strop, Peter gets out of the front passenger door and into the back
of the car. When he arrives at Peter's house, his doubly annoyed to
discover that his mother has activated the child locks so he has to
wait for her to let him out. It's a nervous wait after ringing the
doorbell as the wind whips around his legs and up his dress. John had
half expected it to be just he and Peter in attendance, but there's
three more petticoated boys there; one of whom he recognises from
school. Everyone compliments his dress and John tries his very best
to appear grateful... he returns the compliment to Peter who's
wearing the prissy pink dress he'd seen displayed on the mannequin in
his room. Sheepishly, John hands over the birthday card and gift and
mumbles “My Mum chose them.”
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