Within minutes, the
likes and comments began. I didn't want to update my profile picture
and I certainly wasn't a cross-dresser... but my sister blackmailed
me into doing it. The alternative would have been worse and there's
no way I'm going to say what that was. Initially the reactions were
'likes' and 'loves' but it didn't take long for the laughing smilies,
the wows and angry faces to start appearing, along with some
derogatory and downright abusive comments. "Please let me change
it back Laura!" I pleaded. "I've got people saying they're
going to give it me up the ass and asking for blow jobs."
"No... the deal
was a month." my sister stubbornly reminded me. "You can
report the abusive comments to FaceBank and they'll be removed... but
your profile picture stays." she replied. I hung my head. "Don't
worry... your secret's safe with me... providing you pay the price."
"It's only been
twenty minutes... a whole month of these sorts of comments is going
to be a nightmare!"
"Most of them are
nice... and you must admit you do look cute." she grinned.
"Anyway it'll die down after a few days, you know how fickle
FaceBank is."
"But everyone's
going to see it... mum, dad, gran, uncles, aunties, cousins." I
listed.
"Friends,
neighbours... everyone." my sister proudly added. "What are
you going to tell them?" she wondered aloud. "I very much
doubt you'll tell the truth... and if you tell anyone that it's got
anything to do with me, the deal's off, remember!"
~o0o~
My
sister was right about FaceBank... the abusive and threatening
comments were quickly removed but reading and reporting them felt
like a full time job for the first few days and after that, the
trolls got bored and comments on my new profile picture did soon
cease, but I found myself having to explain it to all and sundry.
Fortunately everyone seemed to believe my story, that being that I
just thought it would be funny if I was dressed as a girl in my
FaceBank picture. Most people did think it was funny but then again,
they also thought I was a cross-dresser and a lot of kids at school
started calling me a fag and tranny and a freak.
Laura made it very
clear that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone that she'd done my hair
and make-up so I felt I had no choice but to claim that I’d done it
myself. I told Mum that I'd watched loads of YouTube videos about
hair and make-up and did it when I was home alone over the weekend.
She said I looked lovely but was disappointed that I'd borrowed my
sister's clothes, make-up and jewellery for the prank, and made me
apologise to Laura for 'stealing' her things, then Mum sat me down
for a long talk about honesty, gender and 'the closet'. She didn't
believe that it was the first time I’d worn make-up or styled my
hair because I'd done such a good job, so I lied and said I'd dabbled
a few times previously. “...and what did you put in the bra?” Mum
asked.
“A couple of pairs of
tights.” I gulped.
“Well they certainly
look convincing.” Mum replied. “You could have talked to me about
this.” she said. “You didn't have to out yourself so publicly.”
she told me, glancing at my profile page on the iPad. “Your
grandmother nearly had a heart attack.” she sighed. “She thought
you'd had a sex change.”
I tittered. “I'm not
going to have a sex change Mum.” I said. “I just did it for a
laugh, that's all.”
“Well everyone's seen
it now.” she said. “Why don't you change it back? Or put a
different picture up... one that won't worry your
grandparents.”
“No.” I said. “I
can't.”
“Why not?”
Why not indeed? I
thought. I had to think of an excuse quickly. “Because I don't want
to.” I said. It was all I could think of. “It's funny.” I
added.
“It's not that
funny.” Mum said, lifting her iPad and observing the picture. “If
you were pulling a pout or grinning inanely it might be but...”
“That was the only
one in focus.” I lied.
“How many did you
take?” Mum asked.
“Not many.” I told
her, before adding a cock & bull story about having to quickly
put the clothes back and remove my make-up and wash the style out of
my hair before someone came home that day.
“So in a mad panic,
you changed back into a boy before someone caught you, then posted
the picture on FaceBank for everyone to see?” Mum quizzed. I didn't
blame my mother for questioning my motives. One lie contradicts
another and my mother is understandably baffled by it all. But I
couldn't tell her the truth. She'd
hate me forever. Everyone would. I wish I'd never confessed to my
sister that it was me who was responsible for this...
Under the headline
ARSONISTS DESTROY PAVILION, the fire brigade confirmed that the fire
had been started deliberately but I didn't intend to burn it down.
The pavilion had been boarded up for years. I'd broken in and was
getting stoned alone when a combination of stupidity and recklessness
meant the small fire I'd lit for no particular reason quickly got out
of hand and I scarpered. According to the newspaper report, the
police had fingerprint evidence but the culprit wasn't on their
database, so they were asking for any witnesses to come forward so
the offender could be found and prosecuted. The evidence would have
been my stash tin that I'd left when I ran.
If a rumour got out
that I was involved, they'd come and take my fingerprints which would
link me to the tin and I'd have to come clean about starting the
fire... then I really would be in deep shit. I'd have a criminal
record for arson, and for possession, and possibly for breaking and
entering too... I'd have to pay a fine and do several hundred hours
of community service and might even face a custodial sentence.
Compared to all that, changing my profile picture and putting up with
all the offensive and abusive comments that followed was nothing.
It was a few months
after the fire that I told Laura and I trusted that she wouldn't tell
anyone but what I didn't expect was for her to make me 'buy' her
silence. At first I thought she'd want money and when she said it
would be a forfeit of some sort, I agreed. She spent a couple of days
thinking before she told me that she wanted to dress me up as a girl.
It didn't sound like much of a forfeit. I thought she'd have me doing
all her chores or have me at her beck and call or something. I
figured she thought the idea would fill me with dread, but it didn't
really, and after seeking Laura's assurance that she wouldn't make me
go out of the house, I agreed.
She put me in a bra and
gave me a cute little top to wear. She spent ages doing my hair and
make-up and to be honest, I enjoyed being pampered. A necklace and
bracelet and a barrette in my hair and finally I got to see my
reflection. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was fit! I didn't think I'd
look as good as I did. I almost fancied myself. Laura told me that I
should take a selfie and thinking little of it, I grabbed my phone,
stood in front of the mirror, framed myself and took a photograph. In
fact I took about ten and Laura chose the one she liked the best and
deleted the rest, then she told me what my actual forfeit was;
changing my profile picture on FaceBank to one of me dressed as a
girl... and the photo had to stay on FaceBank for a month and not a
day less. I should have known that there'd be more to her forfeit
that a simple make-over! At first I flat refused but given the choice
between everyone seeing me dressed as a girl on FaceBank or everyone
seeing me on the front page of the Evening News when the police
charge me with arson... I felt I had no choice but to upload the
picture to FaceBank and within minutes the comments began.
I trust that my sister
won't say anything about the fire to anyone. She's having too much
fun watching me squirm and no matter how much I plead and try to
bargain with her... she won't let me take the picture down until it's
been up for a whole month. My mother doesn't believe that I did for a
laugh and instead believes that I decided to come out. I don't think
she thinks I'm gay because she's done a lot of reading in the last
few days and is encouraging me to join some online support groups, to
get in touch with 'the real me' and says if I want, she'll buy me
some girls clothes and some make-up and shoes and blah blah blah.
What my mother can't understand is why on the one hand, I'm telling
her that I don't want to dress like a girl again, but on the other,
I'm refusing to change my profile picture back to one of me dressed
as a boy. One white lie trips over the next and the more I try to
explain myself, the deeper into the rut I go.
It's
been two weeks since I changed my profile picture which means I've
been wrapping myself up in a web of lies for far too long. I
mournfully tell my sister that things are getting beyond a joke.
“Mum's only gone and bought me some underwear and put it in my
drawer.” I gulped. Laura wanted to see it and said it was gorgeous,
but I was adamant that I wasn't going to wear it because if I do, the
next thing will be a skirt or a dress, then shoes and hairdo’s...
“It's not funny!” I whined as Laura sat giggling.
“It is quite funny.”
she replied. “And you do look cute as a girl... I think you should
indulge her.”
“But then she'll
think I really am a tranny.”
“She already does. No
one believes that you changed your profile picture for a
laugh.” Laura said as she sat on my bed, admiring my new
lacy boy shorts and matching crop top.
“What else could I
say? I couldn't tell them that you blackmailed me... which you did!”
I reminded her.
“Oh stop being so
dramatic. I didn't blackmail you, I gave you a choice.” she said.
“What would you prefer? Everyone thinking you're a transvestite or
everyone knowing that you're an arsonist?”
“Neither.” I
sighed. “But I can't have anyone knowing about the fire.”
“Well there you are.”
my sister said. “It's no big deal really... Mum's cool with it. I
think she likes the idea of having two girls.” she told me.
“...she's hardly talked about anything else to me.”
“What's she been
saying?”
“Just that you need
support and gentle encouragement, and asking if I ever suspected
anything and wondering if I've noticed any items of clothing or
cosmetics going missing in recent months.” Laura replied. “Of
course I hadn't and told her that changing your profile picture was
as much a surprise to me as anyone.” she told me. I groaned and
sighed. “Mum said she wasn't surprised though.” Laura added,
somewhat gleefully.
I sighed the deepest of
sighs. “Tell me about it.” I mournfully murmured. “She told me
that she suspected something when I decided to grow my hair long and
started wearing skinny T shirts.”
“Why didn't you say
that you changed your profile picture for a bet or a dare?” my
sister asked.
My head dropped into my
hands. “I wish I had.” I groaned. “Then I wouldn't be in this
mess now.” I said, gulping and glancing at the underwear on my
sister's lap.
“I wouldn't call it a
mess.” Laura smiled. “It's more of a misunderstanding.” she
jovially suggested. “It's quite sweet really.” she added, running
her fingers over the lacy crop top.
“It's a nightmare.”
I groaned. “Why didn't I say it was dare?!” I sighed, cursing
myself. That excuse didn't cross my mind and in hindsight, I really
really wish it had.
Laura laughed at me and
said she didn't know. “Honestly Marty... I just thought it'd be
funny... the last thing I expected was you to lie yourself into a
corner and leave everyone thinking you're a cross-dresser,”
“What did you expect
after dressing me as a girl and making me put the picture on
FaceBank?” I asked. “...then telling me that I couldn't say you
did it.”
“Well... like I said,
I thought you'd say you'd done it for a bet or something.” she
shrugged. “But as they say, you've made your bed, and now you have
to lay in it.”
“Yeah... wearing a
nightie.” I grimaced, nervously chuckling.
“Has Mum bought you a
nightie too?” Laura asked.
“No just them.” I
grumbled, glancing at my new girlie underwear on my sister's lap. “I
hope not anyway.” I added, before shifting myself and opening the
drawer in which my pyjamas are kept. “Oh for fucks sake!” I
groaned, finding not a nightie, but a pair of girl's satin pyjamas in
there.
“Oh wow!” my sister
gasped as I unfolded a short sleeved pyjama top in baby blue satin
with white lace trim and a matching pair of shorts. “Is there
anything else?” she asked. “Have you checked all your drawers and
wardrobe?”
Nothing else was found
apart from the underwear and pyjamas. Later when mum came home I told
her that I'd found the underwear and she smiled and asked if I'd
tried them. “No.” I whined.
“Well in your own
time.” she smiled. I told her I'd found the pyjamas too. “I
thought you might.” she said. “There's nightie under your pillow
too.” she added. “I thought about buying you a skirt or a
dress... but maybe that's something we could do together one day...
when you're ready.”
“Mum I only put that
picture up for a laugh... I don't really want to dress like a girl.”
“Well you did say
that you'd practised doing your hair and make-up a few times
beforehand... and you don't seem at all keen to take that picture
down.” she replied. “I understand that it's hard to admit but a
picture really does speak a thousand words.” she told me. “Have
you spoken to Laura?”
“Yeah.”
“And what does she
think?”
“She thinks that you
like the idea of having two girls and that I should indulge you.”
“You're not a girl
Martin... you're a transvestite, and I'm absolutely fine with that.”
Mum replied. “I understand that I might have been a bit
presumptuous, buying you some nice underwear and nightwear... but I
thought it might make you happy.”
Part of me wanted to
come clean and tell the truth about the circumstances behind me
changing my profile picture... but if I did, Mum would be livid, and
as things currently stand, she's being really nice to me. The
question Laura posed popped into my mind; what would I prefer? Mum
thinking I'm a cross-dresser or Mum knowing that I set fire to the
cricket pavilion all those months ago. “It does. Thanks Mum.” I
said.
The
following morning over breakfast, Mum waited for Laura to leave the
breakfast table before asking me if I'd worn my nightie. Bashfully, I
told her I had and said it was nice. “You didn't say it came with
knickers too.” I added, just as my sister returned.
“What came with
knickers?” Laura asked.
I felt myself going
bright red and Mum guardedly informed my sister that she'd bought me
a nice little nightie and some 'night-knickers'. “A nightie?”
Laura quizzed. “I saw the pyjamas.” she stated.
“It was a summer
sleepwear set... shortie PJs and a little nightie.” Mum replied.
“I'd hidden the nightie under his pillow as a surprise.” she told
her, before turning to me and saying “Since it's Saturday, why
don't you try your new underwear?”
“Oh I don't know...
maybe it's a bit too soon.”
“No one will know.”
Mum said, reminding me that I slept in my new nightie.
“I know but...”
“It's nothing to be
afraid of... you've worn a bra before today so it's hardly a big
step.”
“And this time it'll
at least be your own.” Laura snidely added.
“He's apologised for
that Laura so don't rub it in.” Mum said to her, before telling me
that the crop top she bought me isn't even a bra. “...it's just a
little vest really.” she claimed.
“OK.” I replied.
“Just... don't make a big deal about it.” I said.
“We won't even
mention it.” Mum smiled. She cleared the breakfast dishes and I
went to my bedroom.
Laura followed me up.
“Can I see your nightie?” she asked.
“Oh Laura...” I
moaned. Tightening my bathrobe.
“You've got it on?!”
she exclaimed. She pestered me into letting her have a look, so
reluctantly, I opened my bathrobe and revealed my short baby blue
nightie to her. It has thin, white lace shoulder straps and a band of
lace trim around its skirt. I didn't want her to see the
night-knickers but she wanted to see them.
“They're really
girlie.” I timidly confessed before lifting my nightie a little to
give her a fleeting glimpse. Laura grinned and said they were 'well
cute' and I guess they are, being baby blue satin and rather baggy in
their fit, with gathered and elasticated leg-holes trimmed with
ruffled white lace.
I shut my bedroom door
behind me, removed my robe and looked down at myself. It felt really
nice sleeping in satin. I drifted off to sleep gently stroking the
fabric and when I woke, I felt like I'd not slept so well for weeks.
Part of me feels guilty for liking the nightie. Being someone who'd
never even considered cross-dressing before my sister coerced me, I
felt like I was betraying myself. Especially when I opened my drawer
and removed the white lace boy-shorts and matching crop top. Even if
it is just underwear worn beneath boy's clothes... I'll still be
dressed like a girl all day. I remove my little nightdress and the
matching night-knickers and lay them neatly on my bed before donning
the underwear. The elasticated lace hugs me snugly. It looks and
feels nothing at all like my usual underwear. In fact I never give my
usual underwear a second thought whereas this I’m going to be
thinking about all day long. I fold my nightwear and place it under
my pillow before selecting a pair of jeans and a T shirt, then I
spend a while just pottering in my room, tidying, straightening and
sorting things but really I'm just enjoying getting accustomed to how
this underwear feels.
Eventually I return
downstairs and bashfully smiled as my mother casts me a knowing
glance. “You OK?” she asked.
“Yeah.” I shyly
reply. Neither my mother or sister mention my underwear but I know
they know I’m wearing it. I can tell by the way they look at me,
glancing at my hips and chest with a knowing smile. Much later, when
Laura's gone out clubbing, Mum asks if I've had a nice day and
casually I reply “Yeah it was all right.”
“Is your crop top a
good fit?” she asked.
“Yeah I guess.” I
said, feeling my cheeks redden. I knew she'd have to mention my
underwear sooner or later.
“Good.” Mum smiled.
“They actually came in a pack of three but I only snuck one set
into your drawer so you didn't feel overwhelmed.” she told me as my
jaw dropped a little. “There's some clean ones for tomorrow if you
want to dip your toes in again.”
“Oh... er... thanks.”
I gulped.
“You're welcome.”
she smiled. “You've got pale blue and lilac.” she told me. “I
thought you'd prefer those to white, pink and peach.”
“Erm... yeah.” I
gulped.
“Have I gone too
far?” she asked.
“I don't know.” I
frowned. “No.” I timidly said.
“Good.” she smiled.
“One set wouldn't be enough.” she said. A little flutter of
butterflies erupted in my tummy. “Have you got any plans for
tomorrow?” she asked.
“Not really.” I
said. “I've got a bit of homework to do for Monday.” I told her.
“Well I was
thinking...” she said. Here we go, I thought. “Laura
could maybe have a rummage and find you something nice to wear...
she's got so many hand-me-downs I'm sure there'd be something you
might like.”
“You
mean a dress?” I grimaced, biting my lip.
“Or
a skirt and top, shorts maybe, or some pants or skinny jeans.” she
suggested. “You could do your hair again, and wear some make-up and
I'll make a special supper.”
“Oh
I don't know Mum... I don't want to rush into anything... I was only
dabbling when I dressed myself up last time.”
“Yet
you put the photo on FaceBank so everyone could see the result.”
“As
a joke though.” I gulped.
“Well
there's many a true word said in jest.” Mum replied. “And that
picture really does speak a thousand words.”
I
sighed and gulped. There's no point trying to dig myself out of this
hole. I’m in too deep already and it's only getting deeper. Today
I’m wearing my own lacy underwear and tomorrow I’ll probably end
up wearing a dress or something.
I
took myself to bed earlier than usual and slept in my birthday suit.
At around 8.30am, Mum tapped on my bedroom door and popped her head
in. “I'm making bacon and eggs if you want some.” she told me,
before frowning and saying “Oh... I thought you'd be wearing your
nightie.”
“I'm
not a girl Mum.” I moaned.
“I
know you're not but...” she paused and frown smiled. “Breakfast
in ten minutes.”
I
pulled on my bathrobe and got myself to the kitchen just as Mum was
plating up bacon and scrambled eggs on toast. After a late night out
clubbing, Laura looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge. Mum
made small talk, asking each of us what plans we had for the day.
“Nowt.” I shrugged. Laura's day was equally empty. Mum said she
was going to visit her mother, our grandmother, for an hour and asked
if we wanted to come. “Nah.” I replied. Laura said she was too
hungover. Mum prompted me to go, since I haven't been for three
weeks. “She'll just give me the third degree about my FaceBank
picture though.” I sighed. “And you'll probably want me to wear
one of Laura's dresses.” I grumbled.
“Wearing
a nice Sunday dress had crossed my mind Martin... but not for a trip
to Gran's.” Mum replied. “But if you're not going anywhere and
you've nothing to do, why not?” she asked. I shrugged and sighed.
“You seemed happy enough dipping your toes in yesterday.”
“But
that doesn’t mean I’m ready to take the plunge today.” I
replied.
“You
took the plunge when you changed your FaceBank photo... that was a
fortnight ago.” Mum replied.
I'm
beginning to wonder if coming clean about burning down the cricket
pavilion would be more tolerable than this. “OK...” I sighed.
“I'll wear whatever you want.” I grumbled. “Just don't start
asking me to visit Gran with you.”
“Calm
down grumpy pants.” Mum retorted. “No one's forcing you... we're
just trying to be supportive.”
“I could do your
make-up if you want?” Laura suggested.
“He's perfectly
capable of doing his own make-up.” Mum replied.
“Errr.” I
croaked. “I might not want to wear any make-up.”
“I was just reminding
your sister that you can do your own make-up... you look lovely in
your profile picture.” Mum replied. “If anything you could
teach her a thing or two.”
I glanced at Laura and
gulped. “He probably could.” my sister said. “I loved what you
did with your hair.”
“It wasn't that
good.” I replied.
“How did you do it?”
Mum asked.
“I just put loads of
gel in then plaited it and left it to set.” I said, pretending that
I'd done what my really sister did. “Then took out the plaits and
it was curly.”
“And you learnt that
from a YouTube video?” Mum said. I nodded. “Hmm.” Mum
responded.
Having finished her
bacon and eggs, Mum went for a shower and left us to clear the table
and wash the dishes. “So which dress do you want to wear?” my
sister wryly asked.
“I don't.” I
grimaced.
“Well you're going to
have to sooner or later... or come clean about why you really changed
your profile picture.” she said. “It's no big deal really... it's
just a dress.”
“That's easy for you
to say.”
“But you enjoyed
having a make-over and you did say that you fancied yourself.”
“I know but... you
know what Mum's like... if I wear dress today, one thing'll lead to
another.”
“One thing already
has led to another Marty.” Laura stated. “Mum thinks you're a
closet cross-dresser and for all intents and purposes, your are now.”
she told me. “Plus you've already said you will.” she reminded
me.
“Yeah.” I sighed
consigning myself to the fact that I didn't really have a choice. “If
only I'd said that I'd changed my picture for a dare instead of a
laugh.” I grumbled.
“I bet you're really
kicking yourself.” my sister grinned.
“It should be you I'm
kicking.” I frowned, wishing I could somehow turn the clock back.
My sister smiled a triumphant smile.
We tidied the kitchen
and washed & dried the breakfast dishes. Laura asked if I was
going to have a shower. “Yeah I guess.” I said.
“Mind if I go first?”
she asked.
“Nah.” I replied.
She asked if I wanted to choose something to wear myself or if I
wanted her to choose. “I don't know... I’m trying not to think
about it at all.”
“Well I've got
something in mind... you can choose something else if you don't like
it.”
“I'm pretty sure I
won't like it.” I grumbled.
“Well you never
know... you loved yourself last time.” she reminded me. “Or is
that what you're afraid of?” she smiled.
“Will I have to shave
my legs?”
“I was just thinking
that.”
“Thinking
what?” Mum asked as she entered the kitchen wearing a bathrobe,
hair damp and dripping.
“Marty shaving his
legs.” Laura quickly replied.
“And I was thinking
that might be a step too far.” I added. “I've got to consider
doing PE.”
“True.” Mum said.
“Maybe in the holidays 'eh?”
“Yeah maybe.” I
gulped.
“Are you going to let
Laura find you something nice to wear?” Mum asked. “Then you can
show me how you apply your make-up.” she chirped
“Oh Mu-um... you're
being too pushy.” Laura stated. “Gentle persuasion you said.”
she glanced at me and smiled. “Give us an hour and if Marty gets
cold feet today, then that's the way it is.” she said, looking at
me and asking “OK?”
“OK.” I gulped.
Laura went for a
shower. Mum apologised for being pushy, before asking if I'd rather
she spurned me. “Noo.” I replied. “I just didn't think you'd
encourage me quite so much.” I said.
“I'm trying to do the
right thing Marty... the last I want is to get this wrong.” Mum
said.
“I know... and you're
not doing anything wrong.” I said. “If anything I'm the one who's
wrong.”
“You haven't done
anything wrong Martin.” Mum said, looking me directly in the eyes.
“I don't want to you even thinking that.” she insisted. “It
doesn't say 'ladies only' on a lipstick or mascara.” she informed
me. “It doesn't say 'no boys allowed' on the door of Tammy Girl or
Dorothy Perkins.” she added. “Plus... girl's clothes are a lot
more varied and interesting... I'd hate to be stuck in a shirt and
trousers or jeans and a T shirt for my whole life.”
“Yeah.” I glumly
agreed. “Thanks Mum.” I said, smiling and feeling more guilty
than ever. She really is going to hate me if she finds out why I
really changed my FaceBank picture.
Laura hollered my name
when she was out of the shower so I took myself upstairs. I hung my
head as the hot torrent of water splashed against the back of my
neck. I sighed repeatedly, each deeper than the last as if somehow
hoping one might free me of the guilt that hangs heavy in my gut. If
only I hadn't lit that fire all those months ago. If only my stash
tin was in my pocket when I fled. If only I hadn't confessed to
Laura. If only I said I'd changed my profile picture for a dare...
that'd easily explain why it had to stay up for a month and Mum
wouldn't think I'm a closet cross-dresser. I tipped my head back and
let the torrent of water cascade through my long dark hair and
anticipated getting dressed as a girl again. I enjoyed it the first
time but had I known why Laura wanted to give me a make-over, I'd
have been a lot more hesitant. After washing, rinsing and
conditioning my hair, I washed the rest of myself and tried to
imagine having no hair on my legs. Thankfully I got myself out of
that... at least for now.
After shaving my face,
I exited the bathroom and entered my bedroom to find some clothes
laid neatly on my bed; a pair of black spotty cotton shorts and a
white top, plus a pair of black tights. I got cold feet and gently
knocked on my sister's door. “I don't think I can do this today.”
I nervously told her.
“Oh don't back out.”
she whined. “I thought choosing some shorts would make it easier
than say... a flowery dress.”
“But... tights.” I
grimaced. Laura reminded me that I didn't want to shave my legs. I
sighed and said that I felt like I was diving in at the deep end.
“Nah... it's just a
pair of shorts and a top... you're dipping your toes in.” she said.
“Come back when your dressed. You don't have to knock.”
I'm as nervous as hell
as I pulled on some clean underwear. Today the boy-shorts and cropped
vest are pale blue, but other than the colour, they're identical to
yesterdays. They hugged my hips and chest as I sat and struggled to
get my first pair of tights on. A fortnight ago Laura only
transformed me from the waist up. Today it's going to be head to
toe... but at least she didn't give me a skirt or dress to wear. Then
again, these shorts are equally girlie in the way they hang and
flounce from my waist. The top is white, thin and simple. The outline
of the lacy crop top beneath is visible. Its sleeves are short and
gathered, and it has two long thin laces which I guess tie in a bow
behind my back. I don my robe before first peeping out of my bedroom
door to check the coast is clear, then scurrying across the landing
to my sister's room. “You look ace Marty.” she grinned when I
removed my robe.
“I can't believe I’m
doing this.” I said as she beckoned me to her dressing table.
“Neither can I.”
she said as I timidly sat. “Just remember how much you enjoyed it
last time.”
“That was before
you told me why you were dressing me up.” I dryly reminded
her as she gave me some hair gel and a wide toothed comb. “I can't
do everything myself!” I exclaimed when she told me that I’d have
to do everything myself. “I haven't got a clue how to plait hair.”
“But you told Mum
that you did, so you're going to have to learn... quickly.” Laura
replied. “It's easy enough.” she said, before coaching me to do
exactly what she'd done two weeks previously. After combing in the
gel, I was all fingers and thumbs as I separated my hair into ten or
twelve equal sections, tying each off with a bobble close to my
scalp. Plaiting each section wasn't easy at first, especially trying
to keep the plaits really tight... but I surprised myself as I soon
got the hang of it and after maybe half an hour, I looked like
Medusa. Then I wrapped each plait around itself into a small tight
bun and secured them with a couple of bobby pins.
“How you getting on?”
Mum quietly asked, creeping into Laura's room as I’m applying my
foundation.
“Mum you're supposed
to be downstairs.” Laura impatiently told her.
“You look like
Bjork.” my mother grinned as I turned my head.
“I'm gonna get him to
do my hair.” Laura said, before ushering my mother out, saying
something about her giving me stage fright.
“It's bad enough
having Laura watching over me.” I added as I opened the eye-shadow
palette as if I knew what I was doing.
“OK... sorry.” Mum
smiled as Laura shut the door on her.
I had half an idea of
what needed to be done; foundation all over, eye-shadow on the upper
lids, eye-liner on the lower ones, mascara on the lashes, a bit of
blush on the cheeks and lipstick on my lips. Only this time I had to
learn to do it all myself because stupidly, I'd told my mother that
I'd done my own make-up a few times before I changed my FaceBank
picture... and Laura's right, one day my mother will expect to see me
applying my own make-up. “This isn't the last time I’m gonna have
to do this is it.” I said after applying my mascara, finally
without flinching.
“No.” Laura agreed.
“Mum's dead excited... best bet is just play along for a few weeks
or months and then lose interest and say it was just a phase.”
“And in the mean
time... Mum's bought me more girl's underwear and some frocks and
skirts and shoes and make-up of my own.” I dryly supposed.
“She's more likely to
start rummaging through all my old things and giving you my
hand-me-downs.” Laura said. “She's already mentioned it to me.”
“Really?” I
grimaced as I prepared to apply my blusher. My sister nodded. “I
really should hate you for making me change my profile picture.” he
sighed.
“Well you couldn't
get away scot-free after what you did. I figured it'd be a
humiliating yet harmless punishment for you... and it wasn't me who
talked Mum into thinking you really are a cross-dresser.” she said.
“You did that all by yourself.”
“Don't I know it.”
I grumbled, looking down at myself; my simple little top, girlie
spotty shorts and opaque black tights. Mum's going to love seeing me
dressed like this. “Still...” I said as I put the blusher brush
down. “...it's better than Mum knowing the truth.” I gulped.
“True.” Laura
replied. “You don't hate me do you?”
“No.” I replied. “I
just wish you'd thought of a different forfeit.” I said.
“Yeah.” Laura
agreed as she began rummaging through all her lipsticks. “So do I
in a way.” she said. “Do you want to wear pink again?”
“I guess.” I
gulped. “I'll need some tits too.” I said, glancing down at my
flat chest.
“I was wondering when
you were going to ask.” Laura grinned.
A broad grin swept my
mother's face when I presented myself to her. “You look even more
gorgeous in real life!” she said, looking me up and down,
complimenting my legs before asking if I chose the shorts and top.
“No Laura did.” I
replied.
“And how long does
your hair have to stay in all those knots?” she asked.
“Err... about an
hour.” I replied.
“Who did you say he
looked like?” Laura asked.
“Bjork.” Mum
replied.
“Who's that?”
Mum described the
Icelandic singer and showed us the video to Big Time Sensuality on
her iPad, which we all enjoyed. “I didn't think anyone would wear
their hair like this to go out.” I commented as I watched the video
of Bjork dancing around on the back of a truck. “It looks quite
cool.”
“It was a fleeting
trend back in the 90s.” Mum said. She had that reminiscent look in
her eyes.
Mum had plenty of
pottering to do so she was in and out, up and down all over the
house. She couldn't keep her eyes off me when our paths crossed.
Neither could my sister. For the bag of nerves that I was, I actually
felt quite comfortable in my thick tights, little flouncy shorts and
simple top. “You're going to have to let your hair down soon.”
Laura said. “...and Mum's going to want to see you doing it
yourself.” she added, before reminding me how she carefully unwound
my plaits and teased out the curls a fortnight ago. “Just try to
remember what I did and Mum won't suspect a thing.”
“OK.” I gulped. I
felt so self conscious as I stood in the lounge, facing the mirror,
removing the bobby pins and placing them on the mantle. Mum said I
looked like Medusa with all my random plaits. “I know.” I replied
as I began removing all the bobbles.
“Mind if I watch?”
Mum asked as I began unravelling my plaits. I said I didn't mind but
I'd rather she didn't watch as I carefully separated each one. Laura
joined the audience as I began teasing out all the curls and pushing
my fingers up my scalp to give my hair some body, just as she'd done
a fortnight ago. I spent a good five or ten minutes before facing
them and asking if it looked OK. “It's the nicest your hair's ever
looked.” Mum said. “...and you learnt that from YouTube?”
“Yeah.” I casually
lied. “But I did steal the gel, pins and bobbles off Laura.” I
said.
“Plus my bra and
top!” Laura added.
“Jewellery too if I
remember correctly.” Mum said, before asking if I was wearing
shorts or a skirt or something else in my profile picture. “...the
picture only shows your top half.”
“Jeans.” I said.
“Your own or some of
Laura's?”
“Mine.” I replied.
That fact felt like the first truthful thing I'd said all day.
“Hmm.” Mum
responded. “I'd have thought you'd have worn a skirt... after going
to all that trouble with your hair and make-up.”
“I quite like it when
say... Janelle Monáe or
Taylor Swift wears a pair of scruffy jeans and trainers with a little
top and still look fantastic.” I said, speaking entirely off the
top of my head. “Bottom half is dressed down, top half dressed up.”
I added. “That's what I was going for.” I claimed.
“I see.” Mum
replied. “So you have a few style icons then?”
“I dunno... no one in
particular.”
“You've certainly got
style Marty.” my sister said. “You look great and Mum's right...
that's the best your hair's ever looked.”
I turned toward my
reflection. “It looked better last time.” I replied.
“You wore a barrette
didn't you?” Mum quizzed.
“Yeah.” I said. Mum
told me I look just as good today and bashfully, I thanked her.
“Gosh is that the
time?” Mum exclaimed, reading her wristwatch. “I'd best go and
see Gran.” Mum said. “Are you both sure you don't want to come?”
I certainly wasn't
going dressed as I was and Laura cited her hangover and wanting to
hang out with me as her reasons. “Tell her I'll come next week.”
I said. “And please don't tell her I’m dressed as a girl.”
“She's seen your
FaceBank picture.” Mum chuckled. “Everyone has.” she added.
Mum left, saying she'd
only be a couple of hours and complimented my appearance one last
time. Laura suggested I make some coffee, insisting on proper coffee
instead of instant. She went to her room and returned five minutes
later with my black plimsolls hanging from her fingers. “Put these
on.” she said.
“Why?” I cautiously
asked.
“So we can sit at the
end of the garden and smoke this.” she said, revealing a joint.
“I didn't know you
smoked weed!” I exclaimed.
“Well I'm good at
keeping things secret.” she smugly stated. “Come on.” she
chirped.
Our back garden is long
and apart from the patio section right at the back of the house, it's
relatively secluded at the far end. I pulled on my plimsolls and tied
the laces. “This feels really daring.” I said. “Going outside
dressed like this.”
“You look ace.”
Laura said. “I wish the world was more tolerant and allowed guys to
wear girl's clothes.” she mused. “No one bats an eyelid when
girls dress like boys.” she said, glancing down at herself.
“You're hardly
dressed as a boy Laura.” I commented. She too wears plimsolls,
along with a little pair of frayed denim shorts, yet her legs are
bare and tanned and smooth. Her fitted T shirt is baby blue and
peppered with tiny purple butterflies. Her hair is brushed into a
high ponytail and plaited and unlike me, she wears minimal make-up.
“But compared to me...” I added. She grinned.
I was a bag of nerves
as I stepped outside. The paved patio has a table and chairs and is
in full view of the neighbour's windows. A tall trellis up which a
huge clematis climbs marks the boundary between the patio and the
rest of the garden, and beyond this a long lawn, a few fruit trees,
the garden shed and a secluded seating area with raised flower beds
at the far end where a tall privet hedge grows. Once beyond the
trellis I can relax, but with my bouncy hair and flouncy shorts, a
simple stroll over the lawn and down the garden is nothing short of
thrilling. The warm summer sun streams right through my thin top.
Its heat is warm and welcome on my back. At the end of the garden,
we put our coffee cups on a wall and sit on the bench. “You like
those tights don't you?” my sister tells me. “Every time you sit
you can't keep your hands off them.”
“They do feel nice.”
I confessed. “They look OK too.”
“They look more than
OK!” Laura said. “Your legs are easily as good as mine.” she
reckoned. I disagreed. “Shave them and get a tan and they would.”
she advised. I watched in awe as she lit the spliff and took a toke.
“I've been looking forward to this all morning.” she said.
“Do you smoke down
here often?” I asked. She nodded and exhaled. “Does Mum know?”
“Course.” she
replied, handing the spliff to me.
“Doesn't she mind?”
“She was nineteen
once... she'd rather I smoke down here than in the house.”
“Or in an abandoned
cricket pavilion.” I added before taking a toke. “Is that
supposed to happen?” I asked, seeing my glossy pink lipstick
imprinted on the roach.
“Yes.” she grinned.
“You're not going to set fire to the shed are you?” she jokingly
asked as I took a second drag.
“No!” I chuckled.
“I've not smoked any weed since the pavilion.” I told her.
“How come?” she
asked as I handed the spliff back.
I explained that I'd
left my entire stash in the pavilion and after reading the newspaper
report, I knew the police had my tin with my prints on it. All they
needed was my fingers and if I got nabbed buying weed they'd get my
prints. “...so I decided not to buy any more weed and not do
anything that might result in the police getting my finger prints.”
I said.
“Smart.” she said.
“Then you told me.” she grinned.
“Yeah... I regret
that more than burning the pavilion down.” I dryly retorted.
“No you don't.” she
grinned. “Even you didn't know you were a tranny 'til I dressed you
up.” she said. “And now look at you... you look fuckin' ace
Marty.”
“Yeah.” I coyly
replied. “It does feel nice.” I said, taking the spliff from her.
“This is taking the edge of my nerves.” I said.
“Good.” Laura
smiled as I took a toke. “Just don't tell Mum... she'd go bananas
if she found out I’d got you stoned.”
“Well I might have
make you buy my silence.” I said, jovially. “Give me a few days
and I'll dream up a fitting forfeit for you.” I grinned.
Lovely New Year present PJ. I wonder what will happen when the month is gone. I think it will be very hard for him to go back being a full time boy, after he has build such a close relationship to his sister.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to everybody in here in PJ’s wonderfull world.
Thanks PJ for a great follow up story. Very enjoyable. Very fitting and explains allot of why he had to update his Facebank profile picture and the consequences. Absolutely love the shock of granny and others thinking he’s had a sex change. Poor guy though, one little lie resulted in so much. But he’s learned a lesson to be honest and he won’t be doing any arson in future. Sister does seem to have way too much control on him but that’s what makes the story and she is nice helping his forced feminisation. Mom being happy about him being trans is great. Adds to the hole he dug. He’s got some lovely clothes so far. Glad he’s coming around to enjoying it but maybe that’s the spliff talking. I wonder will he be able to come up with a forfeit for his sister for getting him stoned. Probably not. He’s only saying to make her a little worried. He’s stuck.
ReplyDeleteThanks for another great story and so soon after your Christmas special. I like that despite his sister's grossly unfair blackmail it appears that Marty really is enthralled with girls' clothes. Very perceptive of Mum to encourage him. You didn't cover his return to school but that could be dangerous given school bullies reactions to such things. Overall I love the plot as Marty digs himself in deeper and deeper - "O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." (Walter Scott)
ReplyDeleteI think Laura's forfeit was entirely fair after what he'd done. Reckless/criminal acts need consequences. She didn't consider that he'd enjoy the make-over and figured that he'd say his new profile pic was the result of a dare... not lie himself into a rut like he did.
DeleteI did consider covering his days at school in more detail... but decided to leave it at the one sentence where he says that the kids are calling him names. Sometimes a sentence is as good as several paragraphs, and enabled me to concentrate entirely on his home life. :)
Thanks for the comments. Very much appreciated. :) I must say I'm really chuffed with this story. When I made the original caption, not revealing the backstory was a lazy get out... I simply couldn't think of anything and had no intentions of creating one. But as if from nowhere, the day before New Year... it came to me.
ReplyDeleteA great story PJ. Martin's sister Laura has been very clever in manipulating Martin i to wearing her clothes ad make up.
ReplyDeleteI love how Martin's mum wants to be supportive of his need to cross dress as she understands it under the circumstances. I thought it was really lovely the little blue baby doll nightie and matching knickers set she bought for him. There was an hint that he liked wearing it, because he hadn't had such a peaceful sleep in ages, and the softness of the nightie added to a lovely nights sleep.
Another brilliant story PJ. Happy New Year to to you and everybody out there in PJ Land.
ReplyDeletePoor old Martin's in it for the long run I reckon. I can't see his mum going for the "I've lost interest in it" excuse. Plus, Martin seems to be slowly accepting his fate. Perhaps after a full month of it, he won't be so against it, and may continue secretly dressing as a girl. Keep up the good work as ever.
Your stories are lots of fun and I enjoy reading them. I wish I had been petticoated as a child.
ReplyDeleteBut what has happened to you? It seems as though there has not been anything new posted to this blog for over 2 months. Please let us know if you are planning to continue.
Thank you... i'm still here. No new stories in two months isn't unusual for me, but I hop to get something published in the next few weeks :)
DeleteOh my gosh, I loved this story! I absolutely can't wait to read the next installment. I'm sure Marty (maybe soon to be "Martina"?) will grow to adore the evolution of his/her identity! Will Marty's friends see him dressed in public? Will Laura cajole him into a double date with her? Will mom and granny's encouragement lead Marty to a new love interest? I CAN'T WAIT!! Thanks so much! :)
ReplyDelete