After a few moments, I
turned to my mother and asked when it begins. "...this weekend
or...?"
"Oh no, that's far
too soon." Mum replied. "We've got to get your room ready
first, plus you haven't got any dresses yet, and you'll need
knickers, socks, tights, shoes, a nightie and maybe some nice
pyjamas... and nappies of course."
I grimaced as she
listed all the items. "What do you need to do to my room?"
I whined.
"Well your
football and fighter plane posters need to come down for a start."
she replied. "...and you'll need new bedding, and we'll have to
sort through your books and comics because you won't be indulging
yourself in science fiction or war stories for a while... and you'll
have to box up your models too."
"Ooh." I
moaned. "But I'll get them all back after four weeks?" I
asked.
"Well that
depends. Like said, it's a trial to see how you get on." Mum
replied.
On
Saturday, Mum sorted through my books whilst I carefully packed my
model kits; wrapping the tanks, planes, formula one and rally cars in
several layers of kitchen roll before arranging them in a large
cardboard box. The posters came down and the few that didn't get torn
were put in a cardboard tube for safe keeping in the loft, along with
all my other stuff.
On Sunday I woke in my
empty and lifeless bedroom. Mum had me spend the morning wiping down
all my shelves with a damp cloth, and I had to vacuum the carpet too,
which is usually one of Mum's jobs. In the afternoon we went to one
of those out of town retail parks where there's a big DIY store, a
discount homeware and clothing store, a sofa and bed centre and a car
showroom. The DIY store is big and exciting. I spent my time looking
at power tools, spanners and screwdrivers whilst Mum spent ages
looking at door and drawer handles.
The discount clothing
store is big and boring... especially when Mum insisted that I browse
the girl's clothing section with her. "Don't worry... we won't
be buying anything today." she assured me. "We're just
having a look." she said. And look she did. Skirts, blouses,
dresses, little shorts, play suits, socks, tights, shoes and worst of
all, underwear. I'd already been informed that petticoating means I'd
be wearing knickers as well as dresses. Mum pointed out some girl's
undies. "These are cute." she said, removing a three pack
of training bras in pink, lilac and baby blue.
"I don't need
those Mum!" I growled under my breath.
"They're only
training bras." Mum replied as she checked the price and size
before putting them back. "And you do need them." she
added. she strolled into the next aisle and sheepishly, I followed.
After a few moments of
her just staring at the racks and rails. "What are you looking
at those for?" I meekly asked.
"I'm just having a
look." she replied. This aisle features nothing but school wear
and it's nothing but girl's school wear! Gingham summer dresses and
woollen pinafores with zips up the front or buttons at the shoulders.
Pleated skirts in black, grey, blue or plaid and shirts and blouses
with long and short sleeves. "Oh now these look nice." Mum
said, spotting a section further along that aisle.
"Those look
awful!" I said as I spied the chiffon and taffeta, the satin and
silk of the bridesmaid's section. "You not going to be making me
wear stuff like that are you?" I asked.
"Well whilst I'd
love to see you in one... I can't see it somehow... they're far too
expensive." she told me. "Come on." she said, leading
us away from the girl's clothing.
"Where
now?" I moaned. Mum took me to the bedding section and told me
that a couple of new duvet sets is what we came for. The aisle has
boy's duvets on one side and girl's on the other and Mum's facing the
girl's side. Thing is, I didn't have to ask why. She asked if I could
see anything I liked. "No!" I retorted.
"I had a feeling
you wouldn't." she replied. "I'll have to choose
something."
"Oh not Barbie!"
I said as she picked that one up
“I asked if you could
see anything you like and you said no.” Mum replied. She tucked the
Barbie duvet set under her arm and asked me again if I could see
anything I liked.
I screwed up my face
and cast my eyes across the selection. There's Peppa Pig, Care Bears,
loads of Disney ones, My Little Pony, Sparkle the Unicorn,
ballerinas, flowers and love hearts. “Errr... that one looks OK.”
I said, pointing out a pink camouflage set. It didn't look OK
because it's pink, but at least it's not covered in hearts or flowers
or some girlie cartoon character.
“Oh no.” Mum
replied. “That's for a tom-boy.” she stated. “We need something
for a petticoated boy.” she added. “What about this?” she said.
“Noo.” I whined.
“It's got ballet dancers on it.”
“OK, how about that
one... you like castles.” she said. Of all the duvets, this could
be one of the best of a bad bunch. It might have a castle printed on
it but it's a fairy castle with toadstool turrets and little fairies
fluttering around them. Since I didn’t immediately say no, mum took
that as a yes and marched away from the selection of duvet covers.
Timidly I followed her to the sheets, where she took three fitted
sheets, all in pink, and a plastic mattress protector.
“I don't need that.”
I whined.
“You probably won't
because you'll have a nappy and a pair of rubbers on... but
it's better to be safe than sorry.”
“Rubbers?!” I
gulped. Mum didn't reply. She just took the items to the counter and
paid and I followed. I didn't see the duvet sets after we returned
home and I didn't enquire about them either. I couldn't help but
think about my new duvet covers though. I'm not looking forward to
climbing under Barbie every night and don't want to think about
waking up the next morning. Hateful as the Fairy Castle duvet is,
it's the best of the two, I figure... but maybe my duvet sets are the
least of my worries. It's the thought of being put back in nappies
that worries me most of all.
On
Thursday after school, Mum tells me that we're going to the shops on
Penton Road, which is about a mile away. She needs to go to the
haberdashery store but I'd rather stay home and get on with my
homework. However the offer of a fish & chip supper on the way
back changed my mind. The twenty minute walk took us down several
residential streets, through a snickett and a small park, along and
avenue and eventually to Penton Road. There's a butcher and a baker,
a newsagent, the fish and chip shop, a closed down DVD rental store,
a greengrocer, off licence and haberdashery. I gulp as we enter.
Having glanced in the window and noticed the 'bespoke dressmaking'
notice, I have a feeling this has something to do with me.
The shopkeeper welcomes
us and Mum says she's interested in the bespoke dressmaking service.
“Oh yes... is it for yourself?” the lady asked. I felt myself
blush when Mum proudly said that it was for me, her son. “Very
good.” the lady said, smiling at me. She explained that it's a
simple case of choosing a fabric, choosing a pattern, taking my
measurements and waiting a week or two for the garment to be made.
Mum suggested that I
have a look at the fabrics, of which there seemed to be hundreds,
whilst she looks at the patterns. “And don't touch anything.” she
added.
“I won't.” I moaned
before sauntering amongst the resplendent shelves packed with bolts
of material. My eyes kept landing on the pinks and the floral
patterns and I feared that's what I’d end up having to wear. As I
sheepishly stroll down the aisle, I can't help but over hear the
shopkeeper advising my mother. Apparently the vintage patterns are
popular, and styles with back fastenings are essential. I shut my
ears and try not to think about the prospect of actually being
petticoated, but that's easier said than done. Mum's being so vague
about when it's going to happen, which doesn't help. It could be next
week or next month for all I know. I put my thoughts aside and focus
on the fabrics. I'm surprised to find some cool patterns amongst the
spots, strips, flora and fauna. Patterns including zombies, skulls,
footballs, flying saucers, fighter planes and racing cars. Some of
them are a bit childish but they're definitely better than the rest.
My stroll takes me past yet more unnerving designs; some plain, some
garish and plenty in between.
“Have you seen
anything you like?” Mum asked as she approached me, clutching a
cuiple of sewing patterns.
“Not really.” I
replied, before mentioning the zombie and skull prints.
“I don't think
zombies would be very appropriate.” mum replied. “Or skulls.”
she added as she began to peruse the selection herself. Worryingly,
but not surprisingly, Mum lingered at the pinks, the peaches, the
pretty, cute girlie fabrics. I pointed out the zombies and the skull
prints and despite smiling at them, she clearly wasn't interested.
“These are quite nice.” she said, running her fingers of the
fabrics depicting motorcars, aeroplanes and steam trains.
“This one's cool.”
I said, pointing to one with formula one racing cars on it. “Or
that's well cool!” I added, drawing her attention to the one
printed with fighter planes.
“We're looking for
cute rather than cool Gavin.” Mum replied. “You can have one of
these if you like.” she said, reverting my attention back to the
childlike images of cars, planes and trains.
Knowing that the fabric
would be made into a dress that I'd be expected to wear, I didn't
want any of them. But if I don't chose something, mum will and it'll
be kittens or flowers or worse. Mum liked the 'cute' motorcars, in
particular those with the white and yellow background, whilst I
preferred the dark blue one. Sky blue was the compromise and Mum
prepared to grab the bolt. “Here, hold these.” she said, passing
me the patterns.
I audibly gulp as I
discover what she's got in mind.
My jaw dropped. I
couldn't help but glare at the images. Mum's fingernail landed on the
right hand pattern, specifically the girl in the blue dress. “I
think that one would be nice in this.” she said, drawing my
attention to bolt of fabric in her arms. She tapped her nail on the
other pattern. “And this one's going to be your Sunday dress.”
she told me.
I grimaced at the pale
green frock with it's dainty floral pattern, but more than anything
it was a the frills around the shoulders that worried me most. “Do
I have to have a flowery one?” I meekly asked.
“I was thinking about
stripes.” Mum said, leading me to some fabrics that had caught her
eye.
“Now I know you won't
want the pink one, but I like the lilac and green one.”
If I sneer at these,
she might have something worse in mind; flowers, hearts, butterflies
and kittens flash through my mind. I express my preference for the
blue one, but I've already got blue, so mum settles on the green one.
I sneer the slightest of sneers. “Green?” she asked. I gulp and
nod. She removes the bolt and takes them to the counter where the
shopkeeper compliments our choices and opens her order book. Shoving
the car print fabric toward the shopkeeper, Mum says “This ones for
style er... Have you got the patterns Gavin?”
With a trembling hand I
place them on the counter and can't help but listen as Mum specifies
the details such as sleeve and collar style and skirt length. After a
few minutes of enthused chatter, the lady steps from behind the
counter and tells me that she needs to take my measurements and take
them she does, right in them idle of the shop. Anyone could walk in,
I feared as she measured my shoulders, chest, waist, neck to waist
(back), shoulder to waist (front), waist to knee and even around my
arms! One by one, she jots my sizes down and once done, informs my
mother that it usually takes ten to fourteen days. “So don't put
any weight on young man.” she says to me in a friendly tone. I
couldn't help but feel threatened though.
Knowing that my mother
had ordered two handmade dresses didn't sit easy with me... nor did
knowing that I'd chosen the fabrics myself. I guess it'll be at least
two weeks before I'm actually petticoated, since that's how long
it'll be before my dresses are ready. If I’d got myself in big
trouble for something I'd understand why I'm being petticoated. Mum
said that it should do me some good... but what good can making a boy
wear girl's clothes do? I just don't get it.
We sat and ate our fish
& chip supper in the park and Mum said that she was looking
forward to seeing my dresses, before asking if I was too. “Not
really.” I diplomatically moaned. “I don't want to be
petticoated.” I told her. “It's not fair.”
“I know it doesn't
seem fair at the moment Gavin, but it's just something we're going to
try.” Mum said. “Just for a few weeks.” she added.
“You make it sound
like it's no big deal.” I sighed as I slumped onto my palm. “It's
a huge deal for me.” I said in a pleaful tone. “Especially if I
have to wear nappies again.” I grumped.
“They're only for
bedtime.”
“But why?” I
whined.
“So you don't wet the
bed.”
“I don't wet
the bed.”
“So you won't wet
your nappy either.”
“I will if I'm locked
in my bedroom... I always go for a wee in the night.”
“And you either wake
me up with the flush or leave it to fester 'til morning.” Mum
replied. “...and you only go in the night if you don't go before
bed.” she claimed.
Maybe she's right, but
that doesn't make the prospect of having to wear a nappy for bed any
easier. Just talking about it makes me feel very uneasy.
At the weekend, Mum and
I went into town and just as she's done for the last two weeks, we
browsed the girl's department in seemingly every high street store.
We also went into shops such as Pop Tickle and Juzt Girlz.
Mum made it clear that she wasn't buying anything, and I was thankful
for that, but merely browsing the girl's clothes stores was a mind
boggling experience. There's tea dresses, pinafore dresses, skater
dresses, shift dresses, shirt dresses, shift dresses... many of which
all look the same to me. Then there's straight skirts, pleated
skirts, pencil skirts, A line skirts, circle skirts, rara skirts...
not mention the play-suits, jump suits, dungarees, culottes, pedal
pushers... Why so many different nouns for items that look more or
less the same? I wonder.
Eventually
we went into MotherCare and Mum accosted the first store assistant we
saw. “Hello. Could you tell me where the nappies are?” Mum asked.
“Baby's nappies
or...” the assistant glanced at me. “...big boys?”
“Big boys.” Mum
confidently replied as I felt myself begin to blush.
Toward the back of the
large store is the PettiCare section where the assistant explains all
the different types; disposable, reusable, wicking and non-wicking,
discreet day nappies, ultra padded 'comfort' nappies, traditional
flat nappies. “These require a black belt in origami to fit.” the
assistant joked, before discreetly asking if I'm a bed wetter or a
petticoatee.
“A petticoatee.”
Mum answered, adding “Soon to be.” She glanced at me and I
gulped. “Now I don't want to spend too much because we're just
giving it a try.” she explained. The assistant recommended the
budget non-wicking disposable type, which are available in packs of
seven, fourteen or twenty-eight. “Do they come with rubbers or are
they separate?” Mum asked. The assistant pointed to the packs of
rubbers which are available separately, and their range of cotton
over-knickers. “Oh they look lovely!” Mum said as I grimaced at
the frilly monstrosities.
“I don't have to wear
those too do I?” I gulped. Mum said I'd need something to cover my
nappies and that 'something' is a pair of over-knickers. “You'll
only have them on in bed... no one's going to see them.” she
claimed as she turned them to reveal row upon row of horizontal
frills sewn across the rear.
“Don't they do boy's
ones?” I asked.
“These are the boys
ones.” Mum told me. “But I'll not get you any with pink on if
that's what you're worried about.”
“I'm worried about
the frills.” I dryly replied.
“Well like I say,
you'll be tucked up in bed so no one will see them.”
Mum turns her attention
back to the assistant and enquired about the sizing. I felt so
uncomfortable in this corner of the store, surrounded by packs of
nappies, rubbers and frilly cotton over-knickers. There is another
boy with his parents who looks just as sheepish as I feel. I can't
help but eavesdrop on their conversation. He's maybe a year or two my
junior and is humbly telling his mother that he prefers disposable
nappies, and his mother is explaining that reusable nappies are far
cheaper in the long run. “All they need is a quick wash in the
machine.” she tells him.
Meanwhile, my mother is
choosing my over knickers. I glance but I can't look at the pairs
she's selected. There's too much lace and too many frills for my
liking, but thankfully no pink. “Gavin.” she says. “Come on.”
Sheepishly I accompany
her to the counter. “We don't need that many Mum!” I quietly gasp
as I notice that she'd got me a pack of twenty-eight nappies. She
ignored me as we approached the counter so I reiterated my point
after she'd paid. As we headed through the exit, Mum told me that
she'd got me enough to see me through the four week trial. “But
it's just weekends though.” I said. “That's...” I counted on my
fingers. “...eight nights.”
“I think you
misunderstand.” Mum replied. I was gutted to learn that I'll be
wearing my nappies every night and not just on the weekend as I'd
presumed. I felt like I'd been deliberately mislead. All this talk of
it just being a trial and just on the weekends made the prospect of
being petticoated not seem too bad. Mum said I was getting upset over
nothing and reminded me that at thirteen years old, I probably won't
even need my nappies.
“At thirteen I
shouldn't have to wear them at all... not every night anyway.” I
retorted.
“I've told you often
enough that it's the same for all petticoated boys... the only
difference between you and them is that you'll only be wearing your
dresses over the weekend rather than everyday.” she informed me.
She claims that I'm fortunate that I’m not being dropped in
at the deep end, but even the thought of merely dipping my toes in
the water evokes a deep sense of dread.
We arrive home and mum
wastes no time having a look at her purchases. “Oh I didn't know
they had frills on as well!” I whined as she unfolded a pair of
rubbers. The milky translucent garment has an elasticated waist and
legs, but the legs have a broad lace trim all the way around. She
removes one of the nappies from the big plastic wrapped bundle and is
impressed that they're all individually wrapped in clear cellophane.
I can't help but whine when I notice the girlie design printed on the
front. “You got me girl's ones on purpose didn't you!” I sulked.
“These are boy's ones
Gavin.” my mother claimed. A claim that was confirmed by the age
group and gender clearly stated on the packaging. She didn't deny
that they were girlie though. They clearly are. She began to read the
blurb on a big plastic tub and I asked what it was. “This is your
nappy rash cream.” she said, briefly explaining its purpose.
“I know what it's for
Mum!” I blurted as she opened its lid.
“Hmm... smells quite
nice.” she said.
She offered me the tub
but I refused it, screwing up my nose, shaking my head and recoiling
away. “I'm going to my room.” I moaned, grimacing at my mother's
smug expression. I glanced at the items on the table before leaving.
It's been two weeks
since Mum packed up most of my things and put them in the loft.
After half an hour or
so, Mum checks in on me. “Oh Gavin... how on earth you can still
make a mess when you've got hardly any stuff I'll never know.” she
said as she picked up the discarded socks and shifted my trainers
from where I'd kicked them off. I half heartedly apologised before
timidly asking exactly when she was planning on petticoating me.
“Well... I was thinking the week after next, or maybe the week
after that.” she replied.
“Two or three weeks?”
I whined. “Why can't you just get it over with?” I asked. “It's
so boring not having any of my own stuff.”
“Well there's still a
lot of things you'll need... shoes, socks and tights, underwear of
course...” My frown deepened as each item was added to the list.
“...a nightie and maybe some PJs, new curtains and pictures for the
walls...”
“You're going to turn
it into a girl's room.” I moaned. Mum insisted she wasn't, but
contradicted herself by saying she was just adding some girlie
elements. “It's the same thing.” I claimed.
“Well I'm not
planning on painting the walls pink Gavin.” she said as she cast
her eyes around the bare blue walls.
On
Tuesday, one of the neighbours called round for a cup of tea and a
natter with my mother. They chatted in the kitchen whilst I watched
TV in the sitting room. I sauntered through to fetch myself another
glass of cordial and the neighbour asked how I was and how I was
getting on at school. I replied positively to both questions, then
Mum casually told her than I’m going to be petticoated in a few
weeks. The neighbour presumed I'd got in trouble for something but
Mum assured her that I hadn't. “I'm not sure I agree with
petticoating.” the neighbour said. “Dressing boys in girl's
clothes just seems wrong to me.”
“Same here.” I
mournfully said.
“Well if it's good
for a girl it's good for a boy.” Mum chirped, quoting from the
pro-petticoating propaganda she's been reading. “What seems wrong
to me is the fact that, as a result of letting boys be 'boys'...”
Mum mimed the quotes. “...the country's prison population is
ninety-four percent male and only six percent female.” Mum stated.
“I read about a juvenile detention centre in Didsbury that adopted
correctional petticoating a couple of years ago and the re-offending
rate dropped from around seventy percent to twenty percent!” she
claimed. “And the schools that promote petticoating have reported
that the boys are less disruptive, are less likely to truant and
perform far better than those in the standard coeducational
environment.” she said. “They're topping the league tables you
know.”
“Maybe.” the
neighbour cynically replied. “But boys will still be boys, even if
they're dressed as girls.” she said, glancing at me and probably
imagining what I'd look like.
“They'll still be
boys but they'll not be quite so boyish.” Mum replied, listing
characteristics including boisterousness, fearlessness, recklessness,
arrogance, aggression, apathy, deceit, etc.
“Girls can be all
those things too.” the neighbour stated.
“Yes but not
typically.” Mum replied. “We raise boys and girls so very
differently... they have different clothes, different toys, different
books and films...” Mum explained at some length how the different
approaches to our upbringing might be a factor in the fact
that so many more males get themselves into trouble than females.
“Oh I don't know.”
the neighbour replied. “It's a bit tenuous don't you think?”
“Well it's worth a
try.” Mum replied. The neighbour reiterated that she feels that
putting a boy in girl's clothes is fundamentally wrong, as she cast
her eyes over me once more.
Mum also cast her eyes
on me. “A bit of girl time certainly won't do any harm.” Mum
claimed. “...and it's just a trial. Four weeks to see how he gets
on.”
“Well nothing
ventured nothing gained I suppose.” the neighbour replied.
“Exactly.” Mum
said, before telling her that I'm getting two dresses made.
“Are you looking
forward to that Gavin?” the neighbour asked in a somewhat
patronising tone.
“Not really.” I
groaned.
“Part of you wants to
get it over and done with though doesn't it.” Mum said to me before
turning back the the neighbour. “I've been holding back a bit
because it's his birthday next month and I'd like that to fall within
his trial period.” she informed the neighbour.
“Oh Mu-um! I don't
want to be petticoated on my birthday!” I whined.
“Well I think it'll
be nice if you are.” Mum replied. She held my gaze for a moment and
I knew she wasn't joking. I gulped and skewed my jaw, before
returning to the lounge where I tried and failed to escape into TV
land. I hadn't given my birthday much thought until now and the last
thing I want to do is spend it wearing a stupid dress! After the
neighbour had left, I mournfully asked my mother why she wants to
petticoat me on my birthday. “Because it gives me an excuse to buy
you a really nice party dress.” she told me.
“I'm not having a
party too am I?” I gulped as a vision popped into my skull.
“Well that depends.”
Mum said.
“On what?”
“On whether or not
you deserve one.” she replied in a semi-threatening tone. I
wondered what she meant by that but didn't want to ask. “But party
or not, you will be wearing a party dress.” Mum added.
“It's going to be the
worst birthday ever!” I growled.
“Not necessarily
Gavin.” Mum said in an empathetic tone of voice.
The
following week at school, Jason, one of my mates asked why I was
being so quiet lately. “Oh it's nothing.” I glumly replied.
“It must be
something.” he replied. “You've not been petticoated have you?”
he jovially suggested.
“No!” I said. “What
makes you think that?!”
“I was only joking.”
he defensively claimed, before telling me that when his cousin was
petticoated he went from being a proper loud mouth to being as quiet
as a mouse in a flash.
“I didn't know you
had a cousin who'd been petticoated.”
“I'm sure I told
you... it was ages ago.” he replied.
“What's he like?” I
asked. “Does he live round here?”
“Yeah. On the east
bank... he's okay. It was weird seeing him wearing dresses and
stuff but... I'm kind of used to it now... and so is he.”
“I don't think I'd
get used to it.” I grumbled.
“Well you won't have
to unless you've got one of those mothers.”
“Yeah.” I nervously
agreed. “Thing is... my mum has mentioned it, on more than a few
occasions.” I confessed.
“My mum's always
threatening to petticoat me but she won't.” he said.
“I hope mine
doesn't.” I replied, knowing full well that she will, and in the
foreseeable future.
“She won't.” he
reckoned. “You never get into trouble.” he told me. “You don't
even hand your homework in late.”
“Yeah.” I
reluctantly agreed. “So... this cousin of yours... is he
petticoated all the time?” I asked. He nodded and told me that his
cousin has to wear nappies for bed. “Blimey!” I grimaced.
“I even had to wear
one when we stayed over a few months back!”
“No way!” I
exclaimed. “What was that like?”
“Well... I didn't use
it if that's what you're thinking.” he claimed. “But it was a bit
worrying... if I did need to go, I’d have had to.” he added,
before telling me that Callum Morris, the boy in our class who's
being sent to PettiCamp, also wears nappies for bed.
“Really?”
“Yeah but don't tell
anyone... he's bit shy about it.”
“I bet he is.” I
nervously chuckled. I knew that Callum was being sent to PettiCamp
this summer but presumed that was going to be his initiation. I had
no idea that he was already a petticoatee. I spent a split second
wondering if I should ask him about it, to find out if being
petticoated is as bad as I expect it to be, but quickly decided not
to. I've already said too much and I don't want word getting around.
“Isn't it your
birthday in a couple of weeks?” he asked.
“Five weeks.” I
replied.
“You doing owt?” he
asked.
“Prob'ly not.” I
replied, claiming that I'm too old for parties, there's nothing
spectacular coming out at the cinema and Mum can't afford things like
paint-ball or Go-Ape. I dread to think what I will be doing, or
wearing!
The
next weekend, we ventured into town to get the weekly grocery shop
and as usual, Mum took me on a tour of the girl's departments again.
She'd point out little pairs of shorts and say they're 'cute', or
describe a little skirt as 'sweet'. She'd draw my attention to T
shirts, blouses, little tops, playsuits, pants and leggings or
whatever else caught her eye. “Why do you keep showing me all this
stuff Mum?” I moaned after sauntering around the fourth department
store.
“Just getting you
used to all the different styles.” she replied. “There's so much
more variety don't you think.”
“There's too much
variety.” I glumly retorted. No wonder Mum spends so much time
trying to decide what to wear!
We wondered along the
high street and Mum stopped to look in the window of a shoe shop. She
took me inside and Mum made a bee line for the girl's shoes with
straps, buckles and little heels. I moaned about the styles she
preferred. “Why can't I just have plain lace up shoes? Like those.”
I said, pointing out a style that could easily be classed as unisex.
“They're school shoes
Gavin.” Mum replied. “I like these.” she said, removing a pair
with a low cone shaped heel.
“But I can't wear
heels!”
“They're only little
ones Gavin.” Mum replied. “Wouldn't you like to be bit taller?”
she asked.
“Do you need any
help?” an assistant asked. Mum told her that she's looking for some
nice shoes for me. “Have you worn heels before?” the assistant
asked. I shook my head. She turned to my mother and asked if she was
looking for school shoes.
“No just some nice
shoes that'll go with a variety of outfits.” Mum replied.
“Well you can't go
wrong with black.”
“They are nice.”
Mum said, before presuming they'd be a little too high for me; a
beginner.
“They're way too
high.” I whined. The heel looked like a good three inches, maybe
more!
The assistant
explained. “It sounds
counter intuitive but I'd always recommend dropping
them in at the deep end with a higher heel rather than starting low
and working up.” she said. “A few days in these...” She raised
the shoe. “...will mean he'll take to those...” she gestured to
some shoes with a lower heel. “...like a duck to water.” she
claimed.
“That makes sense.”
Mum said. “I know they look quite high Gavin but they're not that
high.. no more than two-and-a-half inches.” she claimed. “...maybe
three.” she added. “Let's get your feet measured and we'll see
how they look.”
I've always enjoyed
getting my feet measured at the shoe shop. But today it was
embarrassing for two reasons; one, I'm getting girl's shoes. Two, Mum
made me wear a pair of my new socks. “These are pretty.” the
assistant said when she noticed the ruffled lace trim around my
ankles.
I gulped and grimaced
and looked up at my mother, who prompted me to say thank you. I
gulped again. “Thank you.” I timidly said.
“My little brother
used to wear socks like this.” the assistant added as she drew the
gauge down to my toes. “He was petticoated long before it was
fashionable.”
“That's interesting.”
Mum replied. “Did he enjoy it?”
“Well he felt a bit
silly to begin with, like all boys do...” the assistant glanced at
me. “...but he eventually came to terms with it. He's at university
now.”
“See Gavin... I told
you you've got nothing to worry about.” Mum said as the assistant
placed my other foot on the Brannock device.
“So you keep saying.”
I thought as the assistant declared me a size five-and-a-half.
“Shall I fetch pair
of the patent Mary Jane's?”
“Yes please.” Mum
replied.
“I'd rather not wear
heels Mum... what if I can't walk in them and twist my ankle?”
“Girl's can walk
perfectly well in them Gavin, so I'm sure a boy can too.”
Maybe so, but that
doesn't make the prospect of wearing shoes with heels any more
bearable. A few moments passed before the assistant returned. Those
were filled with me sitting nervously on the bench and Mum perusing
the shoes on display, pointing out the odd pair and telling me that
they're nice. One thing I’ve learned over the last few weeks is
that my opinion doesn't matter, but that doesn't stop me from
offering it. “I don't like them.” I mumbled after the assistant
had strapped the shoes to my feet.
“Stand up, let's have
a proper look.” Mum said. With caution, I stood and didn't take my
eyes off my feet as I did so. My pants dropped to cover the tops of
my frilly ankle socks and the buckled straps, leaving my thin white
socks in stark contrast to the shiny black shoes. “You're almost as
tall as me now.” Mum said as I reached my full height. I gulped.
I felt the assistant's
fingers take hold of mine. She gently lifted my hand. “Take a few
steps.” she said. “Carefully.” she added. Fearful of the heel,
I put most of my weight on my toes as I took one step then another. I
felt tall yet meek as she held my hand aloft like some delicate
thing. “Try to walk on both toe and heel.” she advised. “The
biggest mistake you can make is to forget you're wearing heels.”
“I don't think I'll
forget I'm wearing these.” I said as I turned and walked to the few
paces back to my mother, escorted by the store assistant who gently
clasped my hand.
“You're doing very
well.” my mother commented, but she would say that. “How do they
feel?” she asked as the assistant let go of my hand.
“Scary.” I replied.
“I think they might be a bit too high.”
“I think they're just
about right.” the assistant claimed. According to her, someone my
age with my foot size can easily wear a three and a half inch heel
and the shoes I'm wearing are lower than that. “Would you like to
try something higher as a comparison?”
“Er... no... thanks.”
I said.
“I think those are
perfect.” Mum said, before suggesting we have a look for a nice
pair of flat shoes too. I suggested I took the Mary Jane’s off but
mum suggested I keep them on for a few more minutes to get accustomed
to them. “Can you see anything you like?” she asked.
“Those!” I said,
pointing to the range of Converse. “But not the pink ones.”
“I think they're a
bit too boyish Gavin.” mum replied as she strafed the display.
“Oh!” she exclaimed at a resplendent display of jelly shoes.
“These'll go perfectly with your blue dress, and those blue shorts
I got you.” she said, picking up a pale blue one.
“What blue shorts?”
I quizzed. Mum informed me that she's been picking up a few 'bits and
bats' during the week, including tops, socks, a cardigan, some T
shirts and a pair of pale blue shorts that she describes as 'very
cute'.
I wasn't keen on the
pale blue jelly shoes but at least they were flat. Mum was keen
because they're cheap and the assistant claimed that jelly shoes are
a popular choice for petticoated boys. “Colourful, affordable,
timeless.” she said. “...and perfect for paddling.”
I sat whilst the
assistant fetched a pair in my size. Mum unbuckled my Mary Jane's and
admired them for a moment before putting them back in their box. I
briefly tried the jelly shoes for size before putting my plimsolls
back on. I sighed as I followed my mother to the counter, but was
glad that we'd soon be out of there.
We headed toward the
end of the high street, calling in at the fishmongers and butchers.
They're always the last ports of call when grocery shopping, then
it's directly home to get them in the fridge.
“I think we've pretty
much got everything now.” Mum casually said as we headed home.
“Your dresses should be ready this week.” she reminded me, before
asking how I felt about starting next weekend. “Or we could leave
it another week if you prefer?” she suggested.
“If you'd just gone
ahead with it when you first mentioned it my four weeks would have
been pretty much over by now.” I glumly replied.
“I know but you
didn't have anything then.” she replied. “Is that a yes to next
weekend?” she asked.
“I guess.” I
gulped.
“I'm quite looking
forward to it.”
“I'm not.” I
grumbled.
“Not even a little?”
“No boy in their
right mind would get excited over being petticoated Mum.” I
retorted. “Everyone says we get used to it eventually but no one
says it's something to look forward to.”
“I suppose.” Mum
replied. “So it's more nerves than anything then?”
“I just want to get
it over and done with.” I flippantly retorted.
“That's
understandable.” Mum replied. “Next weekend it is then.” she
said in a worryingly joyous tone.
“I'm glad one of us
is looking forward to it.” I dryly replied.
“I'm more intrigued
than anything. From what I've read, most boys adapt quite well once
they've got over their initial stage fright.”
“And what about the
rest?” I grimly asked.
“They don't have any
stage fright.” Mum replied, before claiming that everything she's
read about petticoating has been positive.
“Mrs Webster didn't
sound very positive when you told her.” I said, recalling the
neighbour's comments.
“But she did say
nothing ventured nothing gained.”
“What's to gain from
dressing me like a girl?” I grumbled.
“Well... that's what
we're going to find out.” Mum replied.
I
went to my room when we got back home where I slumped on my bed and
had a little sulk. I cast my eyes over my empty shelves and the
dressing table mirror on my desk. I recalled all the stuff Mum's been
buying me; the girlie duvet covers, the dresses, the socks, today's
shoes and worst of all, the big pack of nappies. It was weird when
Jason told me that he had to wear one when staying with his
petticoated cousin. Maybe they're not so bad after all, providing
they're not needed... but I guess I'll just have to wait and find out
for myself.
At school on Monday,
Jason approached me at break and said, “You still down in the
dumps?” Jason said. I nodded. “What's up?” he asked.
“Remember you
mentioned your cousin last week... the petticoated one.” I replied.
He nodded. “Well... don't tell anyone but... my mum's decided that
she's going to petticoat me.” I confessed.
“Oh no!” he gasped.
“When?”
“This weekend... for
four weeks.”
“Blimey.” he
replied. “Why only four weeks?”
“Mum says it's just a
trial, to see how I get on.”
“Do you believe her?”
he asked.
“Dunno.” I
shrugged.
“When did you find
this out?”
“A few weeks ago.”
“That explains why
you've been keeping yourself to yourself recently.” he said. “You
gonna do it?”
“I don't really have
a choice.” I frowned. “I'd understand if I kept getting into
trouble or if my grades were really bad... I feel like I’m being
punished for nothing.” I sighed.
“My mum keeps
threatening me with it... but she won't actually do it.”
“How can you be so
sure?”
“Because she's not
one of those mothers.” he replied. “My mum thinks boys should be
boys and girls should be girls.”
“My mum says if
it's good for a girl it's good for a boy.”
I mournfully replied.
“My aunt says that
too.”
“How long's your
cousin been petticoated for?”
“Err.... three or
four years I guess.”
I bit my lip at the
sheer thought of being petticoated for as long as that. “Does he
have to wear a girl's uniform too?” I asked.
“Not for
school.” he replied. “But he wears one after school... when he's
got homework to do.” he added
“What's he like?”
“He's OK...
considering.”
“How old is he?”
“Fifteen.”
“Blimey!” I
exclaimed. That means he's been petticoated since he was my age!
“What about Callum Morris? Do you know how long he's been
petticoated for?”
“No.” he replied.
“A while I guess. Why don't you ask him?”
“Nah... I doubt he
wants to talk about it.” I have toyed with trying to talk to
Callum, to get the 'low down' or some tips, or to find out of there's
any way out of it... but I just can't bring myself to approach him
and say 'Hi Callum... I'm gonna be petticoated just like you, let's
talk!'.
“Well if you
explained he might.”
“He might tell
everyone as well.” I said. “I trust you won't.” I asked.
“Nah, your secret's
safe with me.” Jason assured, before asking if I'll have to wear
nappies too.
“I don't wanna even
think about that.” I said. Feeling that I'd already revealed too
much, I let Jason believe that I didn't know. The last thing I want
to describe is the big pack of disposable nappies, the lace trimmed
rubbers or the frilly cotton over knickers.
When I got home, Mum
asked if I’d had a nice day at school. As usual, I said it was OK,
but chose not to tell her about the chat I'd had with Jason about his
cousin Peter. I haven't even told her about Callum Morris, the only
petticoated boy at school as far as I'm aware. I imagine Mum might
encourage me to get chummy with him and maybe invite him around for
afternoon tea or something. I sit at my desk to do my homework and
count the days on my fingers... five nights of normality, then it's
four weeks of petticoating.
The next few days go
far too quickly. On Wednesday, my mother gleefully informs me that
she collected my dresses today and claimed that they look absolutely
lovely. “Do you want to see them now or save them 'til Saturday?”
she enthused.
“I don't even want to
think about them 'til Saturday.” I glumly replied. That was easier
said than done. I could think of little else as the weekend loomed.
I felt mournful as I
sauntered home from school on Friday afternoon. Tomorrow morning I'll
have to start wearing the girlie clothes that Mum's been assembling
over the last few weeks and I'm really not looking forward to it.
“How was school?” my mother cheerfully asked when I returned.
“OK.” I replied.
She asked if I had any homework. “A bit.” I replied.
“Well you'd best get
on with it now.” Mum chirped.
“I'll do it later,
after supper.” I replied.
“I'd rather you did
it now... then it's done.” she insisted.
“OK.”
I said. I removed my coat and carted my school bag up to my room. I
expected to be greeted by the same bare walls and empty shelves I'd
got used to since mum put most of my stuff in the loft, but when I
opened the door I just stopped and dropped my jaw. “Oh Mu-um!” I
groaned to no one but myself. On my bed is the Barbie duvet cover
she'd bought me and flanking my window is a pair of pale pink
curtains. Obscuring the view is a white lacy net curtain, and there's
a fluffy pink rug beside my bed. I gulp as I cast my eyes across a
series of framed pictures hanging on the walls.
I almost jumped out of
my skin when I heard my mother's voice from right behind me. “What
do you think?” Why does she have to appear out of nowhere like
that!?
“What've you done
Mum?” I gasped as my heart palpitated erratically.
“I've brightened the
place up a bit.” she joyously replied.
“With pictures of
ballet dancers?” I gulped and the art on the walls.
“They make a nice
change from posters of fighter planes, footballers and racing cars.”
Mum smugly replied. I gulped and frowned. “Oh don't look so glum...
you knew what to expect.” she jovially added as my eyes panned my
room and found three dolls perched on my bookshelf.
“I didn't expect
dolls!” I exclaimed, gulping at the fearsome threesome.
“They're just for
decoration Gavin, you won't be expected to play with them.”
I
gulped and cast my eyes around once more; Barbie duvet and pillow
case, heart shaped rug, pink curtains, a Disney princess bedside lamp
and a larger princess lampshade around the big light on the ceiling.
“I suppose I should be thankful that you didn't paint the walls
pink.” I frowned.
“Well
it did cross my mind.” Mum replied. She threw me a pursed smile as
I glared at the bookshelves. “There's some books and magazines.”
she said as I gorped at my shelves.
The
pink, peach, lilac and white spines hinted at a selection that
wouldn't normally be aimed at teenage boys. I focused on the titles;
Alice in Wonderland, Heidi, One Hundred Dresses, Anne of Green
Gables, The Princess and the Pauper, A Little Princess, The Disney
Princess Annual, The Dolly Dress-up Sewing Book, Paper Dolls, Fun
Crafts for Girls...
“They're
all girl's books.”
“Of
course.” Mum replied.
I
gulped having spotted a ballet book, worryingly alongside one titled
Skipping and Rhyming Games for Girls. “Skipping and rhyming games.”
I gasped. I gulped, then grimaced when Mum told that I've also got a
skipping rope. “Why?” I cautiously asked. Mum, somewhat smugly
informed me that as a petticoatee I'll be excused from PE at school.
“Why?” I said, feeling like a stuck recordd.
“To
spare your blushes.” Mum replied. Huh? I thought. “Petticoated
boys get their exercise at home after school. Half an hour a
day of active play.” she said.
Hmm.... that doesn't
sound like much fun, I thought. I was told that instead of doing PE
at school, I'll be joining the homework group with the other kids
that don't do PE for whatever reason. I always figured that Callum
Morris must have had asthma or something since he never does PE, and
now I know the real reason... “But... what does being petticoated
at home have to do with PE at school?” I quizzed.
Mum gave me one of
those looks that suggested I was missing something obvious.
“Petticoated boys wear girls underwear all the time... even under
their boy clothes.” she told me. “I don't think you'll want the
other boys seeing your knickers and training bra when you're getting
changed.”
“I thought I’d only
be wearing those at the weekend?” I frowned.
“I said you'd only
have to wear dresses at the weekends.”
“But I thought that
meant...”
Mum cocked her head and
slowly shook it. She told me that I've clearly not been paying
attention when she's been talking to me about petticoating. “I made
it quite clear that you'll be wearing a nappy every night and
knickers every day. The dresses I bought are for the weekends and the
skirts, shorts, tops and blouses are to wear in the week... after
school of course.” she revealed.
“So... the only boy's
clothes I'll be allowed is my school uniform?” I realised. Mum
nodded. “That's not fair!” I whined.
“Would you rather no
boy's clothes at all?” Mum sternly suggested. “I'm sure I could
arrange special permission from your headmaster so you could wear the
girl's uniform for school...” she claimed. I had a gut feeling that
she was bluffing but wasn't willing to risk finding out. “...because
there's plenty of petticoated boys who do precisely that.” she
added. I gulped and would my neck in.
Mum asked if I had any
homework. “Yeah a bit.” I replied.
“Well you'd best get
started on that.” she said. “I'll make supper for six... will you
be finished by then?” she asked.
“Yeah I guess.”
“Good because you'll
need a bath and bedtime's eight o'clock.”
“Tonight?!” I
exclaimed. Mum nodded. “I thought we were starting all that
tomorrow.” I added.
“Well we are really.”
Mum replied, “First thing in the morning so you need an early
night.” she said.
Mum left me alone and I
unpacked my school bag, putting the books and stationary I'd need on
my desk which, with the addition of a vanity mirror, looks more like
a dressing table than a desk. It's hard not to intermittently glance
at my reflection or cast my eyes around my room. I can't wait to get
my own stuff back. Pictures of ballet dancers, pink curtains and
Barbie bedding really don't belong in a boy's bedroom.
After spending an hour
or so on my homework, I sauntered downstairs where Mum was reading a
magazine with the TV on quietly in the background. “All done?”
she asked.
“Yeah.” I replied.
Mum put the magazine
down, picked up the remote control and turned off the TV. “Are you
looking forward to tomorrow?” she asked.
“Noo!” I said in a
whiny voice. “I'm looking forward to four weeks tomorrow when
things can go back to normal.” I optimistically added.
“I'm
sure you are.” she smiled. “Now... there's a lot more to being
petticoated than just wearing girl's clothes.”
“I know.” I whined.
“There's lots of
rules you'll need to abide by and every time you break one means one
day will be added to the four week trial.” she said. “I don't
expect you to like the rules but I do expect you to follow them...
understand?”
I frowned, gulped and
nodded.
“Good. Now, rule
number one is... when you reply to a question, rather than just
nodding or saying 'yeah' or 'no', I want to hear 'yes mummy' and 'no
mummy'.”
“Mummy?” I baulked.
“Yes.” she said. “I
don't want to hear 'mum' or 'mam' because they're not polite, and
petticoated boys need to always be polite.” she said.
“But I'm thirteen
mum!” I protested. “I'm far too old to start calling you mummy
again.”
“Every time you fail
to address me as 'mummy', I'll add one day to your four week trial.”
she said. “It could easily become five, six or even seven weeks in
the space of just a few hours if you're not careful.” she warned. I
stuck out my lip. “It's not really a big deal Gavin.” she
claimed.
“It is.” I whined.
“You'll be back in
nappies so it stands to reason that you'll be calling me mummy
again... and if you can't manage to address me properly, you'll be
wearing your nappies for a lot longer than four weeks.” she said. I
didn't reply but I did screw my face to express my disapproval.
“Pulling faces like that will also result in one extra day.” she
told me.
“Sorry.” I
murmured.
“I hope so.” Mum
replied. “And I hope from tomorrow morning, you'll add 'mummy' when
you apologise... in fact I want to hear you saying mummy whenever you
address me.” she stated. After a short pause, she went on to tell
me about rule number two. She reminded me of all the 'nice' new
things in my room; the pictures, curtains, books and dolls plus the
new clothes in my drawers and wardrobe, before telling me that if I
damage them in any way, either deliberately or accidentally, then the
petticoating trial will be over.
“Really?!” I
enthused.
“Yes.” she replied.
“And before you think that's an easy get out clause, think again.”
she quickly added. “The trail will be over and your petticoating
will continue for as long as I feel fit.” she informed me.
“...which will be a lot longer than four weeks.”
I gulped, claimed it
wasn't fair and described a scenario in which my clothes get damaged
but it wasn't my fault. Mum said I’d just have to take extra care
to make sure anything like that doesn't happen. “...and it's not
just your clothes that you have to look after Gavin. It's your books,
your comics, your dolls, the pictures on your wall, your bedside
lamp, your...”
“Yeah yeah I get it!”
I growled.
“Taking that tone
with me will also result in one day being added.” she said before
claiming that in just the last five minutes I've earned myself at
least an additional week. “Think yourself lucky that I'm not
keeping count.” she told me. “But come tomorrow.” she added,
giving me one of her serious looks.
The next few rules were
relatively mundane; doing what I’m told, wearing what I'm told, no
answering back, no devious or disobedient behaviour, no pulling
faces, keeping my room tidy and orderly at all times, tidying up
after myself, helping with the household chores, being quiet and
polite and on and on she went... “No way!” I gasped.
“Gavin, you're really
going to have to start thinking before you speak. You might have just
earned yourself yet another day.” she said.
“Sorry.” I
muttered, before gulping and humbly adding “Mummy.”
She smiled. “Now, the
reason you have to sit down to pee is to stop you from tinkling on
the seat or splashing the floor...”
“I don't!” I
interjected.
“You do occasionally
Gavin.” Mum stated. “Now, if you can't manage to sit when you pee
you'll have to wear your nappies in the daytime too.” she
threatened. “Do you understand?”
I gulped and nodded.
Mum raised an eyebrow. “Yes... mu... mummy.” I said.
Mum makes an omelette
with boiled potatoes and green beans for supper. “You're being very
quiet Gavin.” she says, before suggesting that I'm worrying too
much about tomorrow. Of course I'm worried about tomorrow! The last
thing I want is to wear girl's clothes. Even one day would be bad
enough but wearing them for weeks on end will be turmoil. Mum said
that I'm worrying too much and claimed that lots of boys respond
incredibly well to petticoat training. “Once you've got into the
swing of things you'll realise that it's not so bad.” she claimed.
“You keep saying that
but it's going to be awful. It'd probably be OK if it was just
dresses but I have to wear nappies and call you Mummy... I'm
not a little kid!”
“But you are Gavin.”
Mum replied. “The problem with teenagers these days is they're
growing up too quickly. Adolescence is a confusing time. You're
beginning to develop grown-up hormones but you're still a child.”
she said. “Infantilisation will help.”
“What does that
mean?” I asked.
“Treating you like a
child.” she replied. “And before you claim you're not a child...
you absolutely are and will be for some years yet. Putting you back
in nappies will help you realise that fact.”
“...and having to
call you mummy.” I glumly added.
“Yes.” she smiled.
“It's going to be nice being a mummy again.”
“It's gonna be really
embarrassing.” I moaned.
“Give it a few days
and you'll think nothing of it. It's just a word.”
I rested my jaw on my
palm and sighed. The clock on the wall read twenty past six which
means I've got barely an hour of normality left. Mum asked if I was
going to help her wash the dinner plates. “Yeah I guess.” I half
heartedly replied. “I mean... yes mummy.”
“I hope you're not
being sarcastic Gavin.”
“I'm not.” I
claimed as I grabbed the dishcloth.
“I certainly hope
so.” she said.
After helping with the
dishes, I watched TV for a while whilst Mum pottered around in the
kitchen. Then at about ten to seven, she came in and told me she was
going to run me a bath. “You've got ten minutes.” she said. I
gulped. I spent more time watching the clock than I did watching the
TV. Eight minutes. Six minutes. Three minutes... “Gavin!” Mum
yelled from the landing to moment the clock struck seven.
Feeling
condemned, I slowly climbed the stairs. Normally I'd undress in my
bedroom and don my bathrobe, but Mum summoned me into the bathroom
where a bath full of bubbles awaited me. Mum stood with her arms
folded and bore a stern expression. “You're not going to actually
bath me are you?” I fearfully asked.
“I'll do your hair
and your back. The rest you can do yourself.” she said. I began to
unbutton my shirt before asking for some privacy, but Mum declined my
request. “You've got nothing that I haven't seen a hundred times
before.” she said.
Thing is, I have. I
can't remember the last time Mum saw me naked but I’m certain that
I didn't have any pubic hair... not that I’ve got much. Mum took my
shirt and slung it over her arm. I pulled off my socks and she took
those too. I stepped out of my trousers, folded them and handed them
to her, and finally let my undies drop to the floor before quickly
stepping into the bath. “Gavin that was reckless... you had no idea
how hot that water was!” Mum barked.
“It's not hot at
all.” I said as I sank below the bubbles.
“Well it's a good job
I ran you a warm bath isn't it?” she said. “In future you should
test the water before jumping in.”
“Sorry.” I said,
before asking if I could have some more hot water.
“It's plenty warm
enough.” Mum claimed. She proceeded to rinse, then shampoo and wash
my hair, before rinsing it again. I told her that I was perfectly
capable of washing my own hair but Mum said she wanted it doing
properly, before rinsing it again and adding some conditioner. She
scrubbed my back before giving my hair a final rinse. “You can do
the rest yourself.” she said before leaving me alone and the door
wide open. I sat and sulked for a few moments before bathing properly
and no more than five minutes later, Mum returned. “Nappy rash
cream, a nappy and some rubbers.” she said, placing the items on
the cistern. “You should at least try to use the toilet before you
put it on.”
“I thought we weren't
starting that 'til tomorrow.” I whined.
“Tomorrow starts at
midnight Gavin.”
“But...” I gulped.
Mum's expression
strongly suggested that she wasn't in the mood for accepting any
buts. She told me where to apply the cream, to use plenty and to rub
it in thoroughly. “You'll need to wash your hands before you put
your nappy on...” she explained. “...and if you continue whining
and kicking up a fuss, I'll start adding extra days to your four week
trial. Understand?”
I hung my head. Mum
asked if she needed to stand and watch over me whilst I donned my
nappy. I swallowed my pride and shook my head. I'd imagined that I'd
be put into the nappy like a baby, which would have been a
humiliation beyond belief. Donning it myself in private I guess is
one consolation, albeit a small one.
I climbed out of the
bath and dried myself on a big fluffy towel, all the time glancing
and gulping at the items on the cistern. Once dry, I apply the cream
as instructed and screw up my nose at its pungent fruity scent. After
rinsing the cream of my fingers, I hesitantly unwrap and unfold the
nappy. Printed on the front is a pastel coloured design of a
butterfly and some flowers, which is far from desirable. Within its
folds is a slip of paper with a set if simple pictorial instructions.
The nappy pulls on like a normal pair of underpants and features
perforations down the sides for its removal. It's a lot thinner than
I’d expected, no more than five or seven millimetres thick. I
hesitated before stepping onto it and pulling it up, all the way to
my waist. I can't believe that at thirteen years old, I’m actually
wearing a nappy again. I can vaguely recall wearing night-timers when
I was about six but at least they had boyish designs. “You've at
least got it on I see!” Mum's voice said. I turned to face her. My
cheeks were crimson with embarrassment. She asked if I'd put plenty
of cream on and rubbed it in. Glumly I nodded. “Put your rubbers
on.” she instructed, handing them to me.
With a trembling hand I
took them. “This is horrible mum.” I moaned.
“Nappies aren't
supposed to be nice but they are a necessary part of petticoating.”
Mum sternly replied. “It won't seem so bad tomorrow night.” she
claimed. “...or the night after that.”
I wasn't so sure, but I
wasn't going to argue. Wearing a nappy for bed for the next four
weeks is going to be bad enough and I don't want to make it five or
six weeks. I stretched the waistband of the opaque rubber knickers
and pushed my feet through the elasticated leg holes. They tightened
their grip as I pulled them up over my knees, and as I pulled them
over the nappy, I complained that the elastic felt too tight. “It's
supposed to be tight Gavin, otherwise they'd leak.” she replied.
“Have you brushed your teeth?”
“Not yet.” I
replied.
“Well hurry up...
it's twenty to eight and I need to make sure your hair's dry before
bedtime.”
The pastel coloured
design on my nappy is clearly visible through the translucent plastic
pants. The elasticated legs and waistband seemed to bite into me as I
brushed my teeth, but the worst thing about them is the two inches of
frilly lace around the legs. If any of my friends could see me now, I
thought. I spared a thought for Callum Morris and wondered if he was
doing much the same thing at this very moment. Mum did say that it's
the same for all petticoated boys; bedtime at eight and a nappy every
night. My electric toothbrush is on a three minute timer so much as
I'd like to, I can't cut this nightly task short. I sense my mother's
presence and turn my head. She's stood in the doorway just watching
me. “There's some pyjamas on your bed.” she said.
“Hmm hmm.” I say
through my toothbrush. Girl's pyjamas, I presume. My toothbrush turns
itself off and I spit and rinse and rinse again. I quickly scurry to
my room, covering the front of my nappy with my hands. It feels a
little thicker than it did five minutes ago.
On my bed is a pair of
the frilly cotton over knickers Mum had bought from MotherCare, and a
white pyjama top. It's clearly a girl's one, with its round lace
trimmed collar, short gathered sleeves, plastic flower shaped buttons
and a frilly hem. I quickly pull on the cotton over knickers to
conceal my humiliating nappy and rubbers... but having row upon row
of ruffled frills running across the bum, and a satin bow on the
front of the waistband, they're not much better. Mum returns with a
hairdryer as I'm buttoning myself into the pyjama top. She tells me I
look nice. I tell her I feel stupid. “Where's the pyjama pants?”
I meekly ask.
“It's summer. You
don't need any.” Mum replied.
My legs are completely
exposed. My pyjama top just and so covers my waistband and there's
nothing to cover my frilly over-knickers. “But I can' just wear
this!” I moaned.
“Of course you can
Gavin.” Mum insisted, before telling me to pull out the lacy trim
that's scrunched up inside my over-knickers.
“Do I have to?” I
moaned. The only good thing about the over knickers is that they hid
that particular detail on my rubbers, but Mum insisted that the two
inch of lacy trim needs to be seen. “Why?” I asked as I exposed
the ruffled lace trim.
“So I can see that
you've got your rubbers on.” she replied. “Now you need to get
into the habit of calling me Mummy remember.” she said in a most
patronising tone. “...and you need to get out of the habit of
moaning every time you're told to do something.” she added. “From
tomorrow morning I'll be adding an extra day every time you don't
follow the rules. Understand?”
I skewed my jaw and
swallowed my pride. “Yes Mummy.” I timidly replied.
She sat my at my desk
and plugged in the hairdryer. The nappy feels even thicker than it
did when I donned it. After being vacuum packed in its cellophane
wrap, my nappy is slowly but surely expanding around me. Through the
noise of the dryer, Mum tells me that my hair feels lovely after
being conditioned. She also mentions something about maybe putting it
in rags after my bath tomorrow. “What's rags?” I ignorantly
asked. Mum momentarily turned off the dryer and told me what they are
and what they do whilst pulling a broad toothed brush through my
hair. “I don't want curls.” I whined.
“They'll only last
for the day.” Mum claimed, telling me that they'll easily brush out
in time for school on Monday. She gave me one final blast with the
hairdryer to ensure my hair was bone dry before telling me that it's
time to get into bed. My baggy cotton over knickers don't seem quite
so empty now. The nappy beneath them is becoming obvious and I wasted
no time hiding beneath my Barbie duvet cover, pulling it all the way
up to my chin. Mum perched on the edge of the mattress and looked
lovingly into my eyes. She reminded me that bedtime means bed time,
that she'll hear me if I get out of bed, that my door will be locked
from the outside until morning, and that I’m not to remove my nappy
for any reason.
“What time am I
allowed out?” I asked, adding “Mummy.” for good measure.
“Well it depends what
time I get up.” she replied. “It'll be seven or eight.” she
supposed, before telling me that she doesn't want to hear me banging
on my door before she unlocks it. “You've got your nappy if you
need the toilet and I won't accept any excuses, understand?”
I frowned and nodded.
“Yes mummy.” I said in my meekest voice. She kissed my forehead,
closed my curtains and left. A distinct 'click' after closing my door
determined that it was in fact locked. I was tempted to creep out of
bed to try the handle... but if I want this trial to last no more
than four weeks, I'd better do exactly as I'm told.
I turn on my side, emit
a long sigh and spend a few moments feeling sorry for myself. I've
lost track of how many weeks it's been since my mother first told
that I'd be petticoated and I've thought of little else since. A
nervous hand creeps down to my nappy which wasn't even a centimetre
thick when I donned it. Now it feels closer to two inches thick.
Inside it feels moist and gooey, yet warm and spongy too. It's
certainly not nice but it doesn't feel as bad as I'd imagined. I only
hope that I won't need it.
My new curtains don't
do a great job of blacking out the light and darkness is still a
couple of hours away. I doubt I'll get to sleep until then. In the
half-light I spy the dolls on my bookshelves. I roll onto my back
peer along my bedding. Thankfully I can't make out the huge image of
Barbie printed on my duvet, but I can see its overt pinkness. I know
that Mum's not actually trying to turn me into a girl but with a my
room and clothing so overtly girlie, I might forget what it's like to
be a boy... as normal one anyway. Mum says I’ll get used to being
petticoated in no time but that's the last thing I want.
I'm
not sure when I eventually drifted off to sleep, but I laid awake for
ages before doing so. I awoke early but felt incredibly drowsy. I
needed the toilet but knew I wasn't allowed to use it. I cupped my
hands over my crotch. I could feel the plastic pants beneath the
frilly cotton over knickers, and beneath those is my thick and spongy
nappy. I clenched my eyes shut and squeezed, trying not to let myself
go. All the while my mother's words echoed in my head; it doesn't
matter if you do wet yourself, that's what your nappy's for.
Mum assured me that at
thirteen years old, I wouldn't need my nappy, but after such an early
bedtime and no access to the bathroom I inevitably did. The feeling
of relief when I finally let go was short lived. The sense of total
and utter shame as I lay in a sodden nappy lasted much longer.
There's no clock in my bedroom so I wasn't sure of the time, although
it does appear to be light outside. I've no idea if it's 5.00am or
7.00am. The new curtains give the half-light a pink hue. I emit a
quiet yet menacing groan as I stare at the Disney Princess lampshade
hanging from my ceiling, then the five ballerina paintings that
decorate my walls. I can also make out the dolls on my bookshelf. All
of a sudden I erupt in goose-pimples and emit a shudder when my warm
wet nappy cools considerably. I hope it's not like this every
morning, I thought as I shut my eyes and sighed.
A distinct click forced
me to peel my eyes open. My vision was blurry to begin with, but I
knew the figure entering my room was my mother. How I'd managed to
drift off back to sleep I've no idea but I must have. “Sleep well
Love?” she asked as she cast the curtains open, flooding my room
with light.
“Not really.” I
groaned before rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “What time is it?”
“Almost seven
thirty.” she said. “And it's what time is it 'mummy'.”
she reminded me.
“Sorry... mummy.” I
gulped.
“That's OK.” she
smiled. “How's your nappy?” she asked. I frowned and gulped and
told her it was soaking. “Well let's see if it's leaked.” she
said, grabbing the corner of my duvet cover. “If it has you'll need
clean sheets.” she said, pulling the duvet to one side. “Come on,
up you get.” she said.
I felt ridiculous in my
nightwear; the girl's white pyjama top with its little gathered
sleeves, lace trimmed collar, flower shaped buttons and ruffled hem.
It did nothing to conceal my frilly cotton over knickers nor the
bulbous nappy beneath them. Mum checks my bedding and proudly states
that my rubber knickers have done their job. “Can I get dressed...
please... mummy?” I timidly asked. She smiled at me. “It's cold
and soggy.” I meekly added.
“Yes but in a moment
Gavin.” she told me. “First you need to straighten your bedding
and pillows.” she instructed. I did as she asked and felt her eyes
following my every move. I grimaced as I straightened out the duvet
with its huge Barbie print. Part of me still can't quite believe that
it's on my bed. Mum tells me to make sure that it's perfectly flat so
I smooth it once more. “Good boy.” she said. “Next you need to
lay out your clothes for the day.” she said, directing me to the
top drawer of my chest in which my underwear is kept. I pulled the
drawer open and discovered a neat pile of white knickers alongside an
orderly array of folded white bras. My jaw dropped a little. “Well
don't just look at them Gavin.” Mum said after a short while. “You
need one pair of knickers and one training bra. Your socks are in the
bottom drawer.”
With a trembling hand,
I reached in to the drawer and removed a pair of knickers, then
quickly grabbed one of the bras. Meanwhile, Mum removed a dress from
my wardrobe and laid it neatly on my duvet. I was instructed to lay
out my underwear just as neatly, before being told to get some socks
from my sock drawer. My socks used to be in the top drawer but that's
where my underwear is now. Mum directed me toward my bedside cabinet
which holds three small drawers. I pull open the top drawer. “No
love, that's your nappy drawer.” Mum said. “Socks are in the
bottom drawer.”
A shudder went down my
spine to see the top drawer packed with nappies. I quickly shut it
and open the bottom drawer. “Which ones?” I asked.
“Any you like... and
you're supposed to call me mummy remember.”
“Sorry.... mummy.”
I glumly replied. “I keep forgetting.”
“I'd have thought the
fact that you're wearing a nappy would be enough to remind you.”
mum said.
I felt myself blush.
“When can I take it off? ...mummy.” I humbly asked.
“When you've got your
clothes ready.” she said. “Put your socks neatly by your
knickers.” she instructed.
I did as asked. Mum
said she was looking forward to seeing how my dress looked. I
certainly wasn't, but I was keen to get out of my soggy nappy. I
unbuttoned my pyjama top and dropped my cotton over-knickers to my
ankles before stepping out of them. “Do these go in the laundry?”
I asked as I picked up the frilly garment, adding 'mummy'.
“Let's see.” Mum
replied, taking them from me. “No they're perfectly dry so put them
under your pillow ready for tonight.” she said. I trotted to the
bathroom in only my nappy and rubber knickers. Mum followed and told
me how to remove the nappy; it has perforated sides which tear open
and goes into a lidded bucket. “Here put this on.” she said,
handing me a shower cap to keep my hair dry. “And make sure you
rinse all that nappy rash cream off.” she said as I stepped under
the shower.
Afterwards, I scurried
back to my room with a towel wrapped around me. Mum hovered and I
meekly asked if I could have some privacy. Predictably she declined
and told me to put my knickers on, and knowing that there'd be no
getting out of it, that's exactly what I did. To be honest, after the
humiliation of the nappy, the rubbers and over-knickers, a pair of
frilly white knickers didn't seem so bad. Mum said they looked nice.
I wasn't so sure but with their lacy trim and little satin bow, I
could see where she was coming from; they'd probably be nice if I was
a girl. The training bra proved to be an awkward garment to don. The
straps have a mind of their own and seemingly wanted to tangle, and
the back fastening was fiddly and frustrating, even after mum had
shown me the 'easy' way. Mum held the dress open and I stepped into
it and pushed my hands through the sleeves. She turned me around and
buttoned me in. “This would be a lot easier if the buttons were on
the front.” I said.
“I know but it
wouldn't look as nice.” she replied. “There you are.” she said
once the button was fastened. “Sit down and put your socks on.”
she told me. “Good boy.” she said as I sat.
“What for?”
“For smoothing your
dress first... I thought I'd have to tell you.”
“That's what girls
do.” I humbly replied. I pulled on the socks; white and knee
length. Mum complimented me again when I made sure the tops were both
level. “Girls are always straightening their knee socks.” I said,
before asking if I'd have to wear my new shoes with the heels today.
“I thought your blue
jelly shoes would be nice today.” she said. “They match your
dress.” she added. I wasn't going to argue because I’m dreading
wearing those heels.
With my shoes on, Mum
stepped back and told me that I looked lovely. “I feel a bit
silly.” I confessed.
“Only because you're
not used to looking so nice.” Mum smiled. “Now, you seem to keep
forgetting to address me as 'mummy'.” she added in a more serious
tone. “Remember what we talked about last night?” she asked.
I cast my mind back to
'the rules'. “Yes... sorry... Mummy.” I glumly replied. Mum
smiled down on me and asked if I’d like some breakfast. “Yes
please... Mummy.”
In many ways, wearing a
dress isn't too dissimilar from wearing my bathrobe. That falls just
below my knee whereas my dress lands a couple of inches above it.
However unlike my bathrobe which hangs straight... this dress sticks
out somewhat and only really brushes against my legs as I descend the
stairs. It doesn't feel as bad as I'd imagined but as I catch a
glance of my reflection in the hallway mirror, it does look as bad as
I’d thought it would. “Corn flakes or Wheatabix?” Mum asked as
we entered the kitchen.
“Err... Wheatabix
please.” I replied. “Mummy.” I reluctantly added.
“Good boy.” she
said as I sat. “Tuck yourself all the way in...” she suggested,
pushing my chair in so I was as close to the table as possible.
“...that way you're less likely to get anything on your dress.”
she said.
I recalled the rules.
In particular the one about damaging my clothes. It doesn't seem fair
that if I accidentally got some crumbs on me means that I'd be
petticoated for far longer than four weeks. It doesn't seem fair that
every time I do something wrong an extra day will be added to the
four weeks. In fact everything about being petticoated doesn't seem
fair. Mum put a bowl of cereal under my nose, along with a glass of
orange juice. “Thank you Mummy.” I meekly said. I despise calling
her 'mummy' but if not doing so means extra day of petticoating then
I'll use it, albeit begrudgingly. “What are we going to do today
Mummy?” I asked.
“I need to do the
shopping and I thought we could call in to see Granny.” she
replied.
“Granny?” I gulped.
It's bad enough wearing a dress in front of my mother, let alone my
grandmother!
“Yes... unless you'd
rather come shopping with me?”
Weighing up the
options, I guess I'd rather go to my grandmother's house than
shopping. But given the choice, I'd rather stay home on my own where
no one can see me... but that's not going to happen. “When are we
going to Granny's?” I asked before gulping and adding “Mummy.”
“Later this morning.”
Mum replied.
“Does she know?”
“That you're giving
petticoating a try?”
I nodded, albeit
hesitantly. I hate it when she phrases it as if petticoating is
something that I’m willingly participating in. But thinking about
it, I guess I am willingly participating. If only to ensure the trial
lasts no longer than four weeks. “Can I watch TV for bit please?”
I asked, before again timidly adding 'mummy'.
“Petticoatees don't
really watch TV.” Mum replied. “But you can watch one of your new
DVDs if you like. Or read one of your new books.”
Having perused the
titles of my DVDs, I had little interest in watching any of them, so
I settled for one of the books. I don't want to read any of the
girl's story books and have no interest in paper dolls or or the
dolly dress up book. Fun Crafts for Girls and the cross-stitch Book
seem like the best of the bad bunch to a select those and saunter
downstairs with them. This time I halt for a moment and look at my
reflection in the hallway mirror. It looks like someone’s put a
boy's head on top of a girl's body, and the tops of my knee socks are
already wonky. I frown and continue to the lounge. Mum sits listening
to the radio whilst perusing the newspaper supplements. I sit myself
down and glumly open the cross-stitch Book. Mum asked what I'd chosen
and described them as 'nice', adding “Needlework will make a nice
change from making plastic model kits.”
I might if the designs
weren't all of flowers and squirrels and teddy bears. A racing car
could be cool, but there's nothing like that in this book. I flick
through Fun Crafts for Girls which includes pressing flowers, making
pasta jewellery, macramé, crochet, collaging, bead work, origami...
all sorts of stuff. Much of it looked boring but the miniature garden
was quite cool, as were some of the origami animals and the string
art. But most of it was sticking glittery stuff to bags, flip-flops,
pencils and lollipop sticks. “Mummy.” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Can I make a
miniature garden... please?”
“Let me see.” she
replied, prompting me to sit beside her. I could tell by the
expression on her face that she's thoroughly enjoying seeing me
wearing my dress. I felt such a ninny as I approached. Her eyes
flicked from my shoes to my collar, my sleeves then my knees. She
reached for the book and I sat beside her. Mum wasn't keen on the
miniature garden since it involved soil and glue for the mini log
cabin. “You don't want to be getting any dirt or glue on your
clothes do you?” she said, before suggesting I try some of the less
messy projects first.
“Like origami?”
“Yes, and
cross-stitch.”
“I'd prefer
origami... some of the animals are really cool.”
“There's no reason
you can't do both.” she said. “In fact I’m hoping that Granny's
still got some cross-stitch fabric and a frame.”
I don't really want to
do any cross-stitch but if I have to, I’d rather not do any of the
designs in the book. It has a section about making your own designs
on graph paper, and I suggest maybe doing that. Mum tells me that the
first cross-stitch project is always a sampler. “What's a sampler?”
I ask. Mum flicks through the book to find an example. It doesn't
look at all inspiring, just being a name, the letters of the
alphabet, the numbers one to ten, some floral motifs and a patterned
border. “I'd like to do a racing car or something.” I suggested.
“Or does it have to be something girlie?” I asked.
“You can do anything
you like.” Mum said. “...when you've done a sampler.” she
added. “However we are supposed to be moving away from things like
fast cars and fighter planes for the next few weeks.”
“So it does have to
be girlie?” I frowned.
“Not necessarily...
something 'nice' rather than 'cool'.” she replied. “You could
copy the cars from your dress and put those on the sampler.” she
suggested. “...instead of the floral motifs. ” she said. I fell
silent and I felt embarrassed. All of a sudden I realise that I’m
talking about learning how to do needlework and for a couple of
minutes, it felt normal. Until Mum mentioned my dress. “How does it
feel now you've had it on for a while?” she asked.
“I don't know.” I
said in a slightly whiny voice. “The same I guess.” I added as I
straightened the tops of my socks.
“A bit silly?” Mum
knowingly asked. I frowned and nodded. She smiled and reiterated that
I only feel silly because I’m not used to wearing nice clothes. “At
least you're remembering to keep your socks nice and straight.” she
said.
“Well you did tell me
that I had to.” I glumly replied. Mum responded with a smile and
asked if we should go to see Granny soon. “Can't I stay here?” I
asked, adding 'please' and 'mummy'.
“You know that's not
an option Gavin. You're only thirteen.” Mum replied.
I knew it was a long
shot but felt it was worth a try. I took my books back to my room,
combed my hair as instructed and returned downstairs. Mum was writing
a shopping list so I lurked in the background whilst she checked the
fridge and cupboards.
“Mum... I mean,
Mummy?” I humbly asked.
“Yes?” she replied.
“Does Granny know
that I have to wear nappies again?”
“Yes.” Mum told me.
I frown swept my face. “You don't seem too happy about that.”
“I just don't want
everyone knowing.” I glumly replied.
“It's common
knowledge that most petticoated boys wear nappies for bed Gavin.”
Mum informed me, before suggesting that I worry too much.
Maybe I do worry too
much... but I've had a lot to get worried about over the last few
weeks. Part of me wishes that she'd dropped me in at the deep end and
went ahead with the petticoating the when she first mentioned it.
Instead I’ve spent four weeks worrying about having to wear dresses
every weekend, then worrying about having to wear a nappy every
night. Then I learned that I'd also have to wear girl's underwear
everyday too, even at school! And then Mum informed me that I'll be
wearing girl's clothes everyday after school. I've had plenty to
worry about and with no books, comics or anything in my room to
distract me, I've spent much of the last few weeks thinking about how
horrible being petticoated must be. The nappy certainly lived up to
expectations but the dress, if I'm perfectly honest, feels a bit
underwhelming. It fits me but not snugly and covers me to just above
the knee, and hanging as it does from my shoulders it actually feels
quite comfy. It wouldn't be so bad if the fabric wasn't quite so
infantile, I wonder... before quickly chasing that thought from my
mind.
The drive to my
grandmother's house was uneventful after the quick dash from the
front door. Mum's car has tinted windows which make it hard to see in
from the outside and I willingly put myself on the back seat rather
than riding 'shotgun'. My apprehension does grow as we cross town to
where Granny lives. I expect she'll be fussing over how pretty I
supposedly look, just like my mother's been doing all morning.
“Here he is!” Mum
gushes when I'm presented to Granny. “Isn't it lovely?!” she
says, drawing her attention to my dress.
Granny sighed and said
it was indeed a lovely dress. “...but not for a boy.” she added.
“It's perfect for a
boy.” Mum claimed. “It's got cars and trucks on it.” she added,
holding out my skirt.
Granny asked me if I
liked my dress. “Not really.” I frowned.
After a quick chat with
Granny, Mum took herself into town and I stayed behind. “So she's
finally done it.” Granny said. “I was hoping she wouldn't but she
seems quite convinced that petticoating is beneficial.” she told
me. “How does it feel?” she asked.
“Horrible.” I
replied in my whiniest voice, before moaning about having to wear a
nappy for bed.
“Well that's not so
bad I suppose.” she optimistically replied.
“It's horrible!” I
retorted.
“They do recommend
that new petticoatees wear them day and night for the first
week or two.” Granny informed me.
“Really?” I gulped.
My grandmother nodded
and told me that she's also been reading all about petticoating since
my mother suggested giving it a try. She also said that she doesn't
really agree with it. “...but I do agree that children these days
are growing up too quickly.” she added.
“I can't help it if
I'm growing up too quick.” I said.
“No... but but your
mother feels that petticoating can help, so you'll just have to go
along with it.” she replied. “Is it as bad as you imagined?”
she asked in a patronising tone.
“Worse.” I replied,
sticking out my lip for effect. “Wearing a dress isn't so bad but
having to wear a nappy is horrible.” I grumbled.
“Well you're old
enough not to need it.” she optimistically replied. “...and now
I’ve had chance to get used to seeing you in a dress, it does look
quite nice, if a little 'young' for you.” she said. I felt
uncomfortable as she looked me up and down; from my blue jelly shoes
and white knee socks to my pale blue frock with its infantile print
and broad white collar. “Did you really choose the fabric
yourself?” my grandmother asked.
“Not really.” I
replied. “There was one with racing cars on and another with
fighter planes, but Mum wouldn't... er... Mummy wouldn't let
me have those... so I ended up with this.” I explained, smoothing
the fabric over my lap. “It's better than flowers or butterflies or
something really girlie... but it's still a dress.”
“Well at least you're
being optimistic about it.” Granny smiled. “And like you say, it
could be worse.” she added.
“Yeah I guess.” I
replied, before reiterating that the dress isn't so bad. “...it's
being treated like a little kid.” I frowned.
“Yes... it must seem
strange saying 'mummy' again.” Granny replied. I felt comfortable
taking to Granny. Unlike my mother who just keeps saying that I'll
get used to it, my grandmother's empathy means a lot. We watched TV
and in spite of me telling her that I'm not supposed to watch TV now
I'm a petticoatee, Granny said that she wouldn't tell. “What are
you going to do all day if you can't watch TV?” she asked. “I
doubt you'll be wanting to spend much time with your friends now
you're...” she tailed off.
“I've got loads of
Barbie and Princess DVDs.” I frowned, before mentioning the craft
books that I'd flicked through. “I wanted to make a miniature
garden but Mum said... I mean Mummy wants me to learn cross stitch
first.”
“Oh yes. She asked me
if I had some fabric and threads for you.” Granny replied. “I
should have some graph-paper too.” she added. My grandmother is
typical granny; she knits and sews and makes and mends and has a
cupboard full of sewing, knitting and craft supplies. She removes
bags and boxes, peeking inside each one before passing them to me to
put aside. There's jars of buttons, old tins full of ribbons, lace
and broderie anglaise trim. I twizzle the embroidery hoops around my
wrists as Granny roots. “It always amazes me just how many things I
start but don't finish.” she said, finding yet another unfinished
bit of knitting or stitching.
Eventually she found
the bag she was looking for. It contained several blank canvases as
well as a couple of projects she'd started years ago yet had never
finished.
“It's like pixels!”
I said as I observed her handiwork. Granny agreed before confessing
to having no idea what 'pixels' are, so I explained further. It was
only when I described the blocky nature of the classic space invader
sprite did she finally understand. Then I had a brainwave.
We soon returned to the
lounge where I sat quietly with a pad of graph-paper on my lap and a
pack of crayons on the chair arm whilst Granny completed her jigsaw.
The dulcet tones of Radio 4 was the only sound until my mother
returned from her shopping trip “How's he been?” Mum asked.
“As good as gold.”
my grandmother replied.
Mum asked what I was
doing and I showed her. “They're space invaders.” I said. “For
my cross stitch sampler.” I added.
“I don't think space
invaders are suitable for a sampler Gavin.” Mum replied. “We're
supposed to be steering you away from things like that.”
“I think it's very
creative.” Granny chirped. “If he's going to learn cross stitch
he'll enjoy it all the more doing something that sparks his
enthusiasm.”
“Well I suppose.”
Mum replied, before suggesting that I make she and Granny a pot of
tea. This was nothing unusual. Ever since I was old enough to boil a
kettle I've been making cups of tea and coffee for my mother. I
loitered in the kitchen whilst the kettle boiled. I'd somehow managed
to put my attire out of my mind whilst I was busy drawing on the
graph-paper, but now I can't help but look down at myself.
I carefully deliver the
tea tray to the lounge and place it on the coffee table. Mum was
showing Granny what she'd been buying. “Oh you should have said...
I’ve got a bag full of ribbon.” Granny told her.
“It didn't cross my
mind.” Mum replied, before saying that she wanted some in the same
shade of blue as my dress.
“That's not for me is
it!?” I grimaced, adding “Mummy” when my mother glared at me.
“It is.” she
replied. “I bought you these too.” she added, removing an item
from the bag. I gulped as she handed me a blister-pack of girl's hair
accessories. It contains three Alice bands in white, pink and pale
blue, six hair slides in the same colours and six bows; one pair in
plain white, another with pale blue spots and a pair with pale pink
spots. “I know you're not keen on pink but I bought it for the
white and blue ones.” Mum informed me.
I recalled the rules
and made damn sure that my four weeks of petticoating didn't get
extended. “Thank you Mummy.” I meekly said.
“You're welcome.”
my mother smugly smiled.
Granny gave me an
empathetic smile and I forced a smile in return. Mum told her that
she'd completely forgotten about hair accessories when she was buying
my new clothes. “Do I have to wear some now?” I meekly asked.
“No.” Mum smiled,
taking the pack from my hands. “We'll save those 'til we get home.”
she said. “...but I’d like to try some of this ribbon in your
hair.” she added, holding it against my dress and declaring it an
almost perfect match. “Have you got some scissors Mum?” she
asked.
“In the kitchen
drawer.” Granny replied.
“Would you mind
Gavin?” Mum asked. I sheepishly went to fetch them and emitted a
huge sigh once I was out of earshot. She'll be buying me lipstick
next, I feared. I returned with the scissors and before long I found
myself wearing a pale blue satin ribbon in my hair with a floppy bow
tied just off centre. I couldn't see it but could certainly feel it.
Mum said it looked nice but I didn't believe her. I resumed drawing
on the graph paper but struggled to put the bow in my hair out of my
mind.
After half an hour or
so, Mum said it was time for us to leave. As usual, Granny said
goodbye with a hug and a kiss. “I'll see you next Saturday?” she
asked.
“Actually Mum.” my
mother chirped before I could reply. “...would you like to join us
for lunch tomorrow.” she asked. Granny declined since she already
has a lunch arrangement with some old friends. “Oh that's a pity...
I wanted to show you Gavin's Sunday dress.”
“Well maybe next
week?” Granny said.
Mum asked if I'd had a
nice time as she drove me home. “Yes.” I honestly replied,
hastily adding 'mummy' before I got that look. “Am I going again
next week?” I asked.
“Yes... unless you
want to come shopping.” Mum replied.
“I'd rather go to
Granny's.”
“I'm sure you would.”
she smiled.
We arrived home and my
attempted dart from the car to the front door failed. “Not so fast
young man!” Mum said, “You can take these in.” she told me as
she passed me two bags of shopping. I hurried indoors. Mum followed,
also carrying a bag in each hand. “There's two more.” she told
me.
“Oh but Mummy what if
someone sees me?” I whined.
Mum reminded me of the
rules, in particular the one about doing what I'm told, when I'm
told. “It's your first day and you've been very compliant so far...
so I'll let you off this once.” she said, before telling me to
fetch the remaining bags from the car.
I couldn't help but
glance down the driveway to check if anyone might see me. I suppose
from a certain distance anyone who does see me will presume the kid
in the dress is a girl, especially with the floppy bow tied in my
hair. I turn my back to the street, lean into the boot and grab the
remaining carrier bags. I place one by my feet and slam the boot shut
before picking it up. “Hello Gavin!” a familiar voice says. I
gulp and turn the see the neighbour stood right behind me. “I see
your mother gone ahead and done it.” she says, looking me up and
down.
“Yes.” I glumly
reply as I feel myself begin to blush.
“Is she in?” the
neighbour asked.
“Yes.” I replied,
before leading her indoors. “Mummy...”
“Oh hello!” my
mother said the the neighbour.
“Hi.” the neighbour
replied. “I noticed Gavin was wearing a dress so I though I'd pop
round to see how he's getting on.” she said. “He looks quite
sweet considering.” she added, looking me up and down.
Mum agreed and proudly
told her that I'd chosen the fabric myself, before suggesting I take
my things to my room. She put the blister pack of hair accessories in
with the cross-stitch fabric and pad of graph-paper that Granny had
given me. A wry smile crossed the neighbour's face as I took the bag
and meekly said “Thank you Mummy.”
“Coffee?” Mum
offered as I left the kitchen.
“Please.” the
neighbour replied. “He looks quite comfortable doesn't he.” I
overheard her add as I climbed the stairs. The annoying thing is...
in spite of the fact that I know that I look ridiculous, I do feel
quite comfortable. Not that I'd readily admit that to many people.
I opened my bedroom
door and tutted. The big picture of Barbie on my duvet grins at me
whilst the three dolls on my bookshelf watch with blank expressions.
I pull out my chair and sit, resting the carrier bag on my lap. I
gulp and look at my reflection. The bow in my hair looks stupid but
if I was a girl I'd probably be thinking how pretty it looks. I'd
probably also be enthusiastically ripping open the pack of hair
bands, clips and slides and trying them all... but I’m a boy and I
don't really know what to do with them. I leave the pack as is and
place it on one side of the desk, turning my attention to the sheet
of graph-paper I'd been doodling on. I'd work on the designs further
but I haven't got any pencils and I don't want to ask Mummy for one
until that neighbours gone. Instead I remove the Cross-Stitch for
Beginners books from my shelf and briefly peruse the other titles;
The Princess and the Pauper, A
Little Princess, The Disney Princess Annual, Princess Adventures... I
exhale long and hard. I hope I’m not expected to read them all, I
wonder as I return to my desk and open the cross-stitch book. As I
read, I can't help but think about my friends... I can imagine what
they'd say if they could see me now:
Why
are you wearing a dress? … Because Mummy said I have to.
… You still call your mum mummy? … Yeah.
… You've got loads of girl's things. ... I know.
… Are those your dolls? … Not really. Kind of.
... What are you reading? … A book about needlework
… What are those on the radiator? … Oh cripes!
I
glanced around my room as I imagined the conversation and spotted my
rubber knickers hung over my radiator. I quickly shove them under my
pillow. Out of sight, out of mind... almost.
A
while later, my mother comes to my room and asks what I'm doing.
“Just reading.” I reply, adding 'mummy' just in case. “Is that
lady still here?” I asked. Mum said she'd left and asked where my
rubber knickers had gone. “Err... I put them under my pillow.” I
timidly replied.
“With
your pyjamas?” she said. I nodded. “Were they dry?” she asked.
I nodded, but wasn't sure. “Good boy.” she smiled. “Shall we
see how some of these look?” she said, picking up the pack of hair
accessories she'd bought me.
I
figured that she was unlikely to take no for an answer, so I gulped
and nodded. They can't be much worse than the floppy blue ribbon I'm
currently sporting. I sit and gorp at my reflection as Mum faffs with
my hair; parting in various places and putting the slides in, then
the clips with the bows and finally one of the Alice bands. All the
while she's muttering positive utterances. “Mummy?” I ask.
“Yes?”
she replied.
“Am
I supposed to pretend to like this or...?”
Mum
talked to me about the difference between honesty and tact, and when
one is more appropriate than the other. She cited examples such as an
underwhelming Christmas gift; it's better to say that you really
like it when you really don't. “If you can't think of anything
positive to say, then most of the time it's just better to say
nothing.” she added.
I skewed my jaw as I
observed my reflection. “Why's it called an Alice band?” I asked.
“Because Alice in
Wonderland wore one.” Mum replied.
“Oh.” I said. “It
looks better than that ribbon, I suppose.” I added.
“I think so too.”
my mother smiled, before telling me that she likes the bow clips best
of all.
I spent much of
Saturday afternoon working on my sampler design. It needs to have the
letters of the alphabet in both upper and lower case, and the numbers
one to ten. Plus my name, age, the year, a border and some decorative
dividers. I think Mum would prefer I did hearts and flowers but said
that it's OK if I'd rather do space invaders. As I draw the shapes
and fill in the squares on my sheet of graph-paper, I can't help but
intermittently glance at my reflection in the vanity mirror on my
desk. I gulp at my round lace trimmed collar and the infantile print
on my pale blue dress, then grimace at the short puffed 'princess'
sleeves which leave my arms looking thinner than usual. I focus on my
doodling and try to put my girlie attire out of my mind for a while.
“Are you ready for
some supper soon?” Mum asked as she popped into my room. I asked
the time and Mum said it was almost 5pm. Time really does fly when
you're having fun! I'd begun a proper design for my cross-stitch
sampler, with my name at the top above a space invader divider, then
another divider followed by the letters of the alphabet in capitals
and lower case. Another divider of four space aliens separated the
letters from the numerals, then the words 'take me to your leader' at
the bottom. Mum chuckled and suggested that I think of something
other than 'take me to your leader'. “What's the space here for?”
she asked, pointing out the void between my name and the alphabet.
“The date.” I
replied, but wasn't sure if it should state only the year or the day,
month and year. “If I do the full date I’ll have to leave it 'til
last.” I suggested. To me it makes more sense to put the date of
completion rather than the date it was started. Mum agreed.
Mum had made pork chops
for supper with mashed potatoes, carrots and peas. “Sit right up to
the table Gavin.” she advised. “Then you won't drop anything on
your dress.” she added. I shuffled my chair right in but being so
close to the table felt too close. On the rare occasion that we eat
out, in a restaurant or somewhere, we tend to place a napkin on our
laps and I suggested that. “Maybe I'll get you an apron.” Mum
suggested, describing the old fashioned pinafore style as seen in
period dramas on TV.
I honestly didn't like
the idea of wearing the sort of apron my mother described, but if
accidentally ruining my dress means being petticoated indefinitely, I
knew it would serve a very good purpose. “I'd like one of it wasn't
too frilly.” I meekly said.
Mum smiled and
suggested the possibility of making us one. “Learning to sew will be one
of your activities.” she informed me.
I gulped before putting
a modest forkful of food in my mouth. As I chewed I considered what
other activities I might be doing, and after swallowing I hesitantly
enquired about them. “Oh lots of things.” Mum replied. “There's
your cross stitch...” she said. “...and plenty of things in you
crafts books.” she added. “There's active play after school each
day.” she told me. “...and Sunday is a rest day.”
“What's active play?”
I asked. Mum raised her eyebrow. “Mummy.” I added.
“Well as you know,
you won't be doing PE at school whilst you're petticoated.” she
restated. “...so you'll be getting your exercise at home instead.”
she said.
“I can't do PE at
home.” I whined. Mum said I could and listed hopscotch and
skipping. “I don't know how to skip.” I muttered.
“You'll learn.” Mum
replied. “I've got you a hula-hoop too.” she informed me.
“I can't do that
either.” I claimed.
Mum smiled and smugly
delivered her 'if a girl can do it...' mantra. After supper I
politely thanked my mother and felt embarrassed for saying 'mummy'.
Then she only added to my embarrassment by asking if I’d like to
help 'mummy' do the dishes. I was put on drying duties to avoid
getting my dress splashed with soapy greasy water. “Mummy?” I
asked as my chore was almost done. “Can I watch TV for a bit before
bed, please?” I asked.
“Well it's Saturday
night, why don't we watch one of your DVDs?”
“All my good ones are
in the loft.” I moaned.
“And there's plenty
you've not even watched in your bedroom.”
“I know but...” I
tried to explain by simply changing my expression.
Mum cocked her head. “I
know for a fact that you enjoyed Brave, Aladin and Mulan at the
cinema.” she said, before suggesting I have a look in 'my' Disney
Princess DVD box set. I did enjoy those films but I was much younger
then... however when mum began suggesting films I haven't seen, such
as Cinderella or Snow White, I quickly got over my apathy and opted
to watch Brave.
I doubt I'd shout about
it to my school friends on Monday but I enjoyed watching Brave as
much as a thirteen year old as I did when I was seven. “Right...”
Mum said as the end credits rolled. “...shall we get you in the
bath and ready for bed?”
“Already?” I
gulped. The time is barely twenty to seven.
“By the time it's
full it'll be ten-to.” Mum replied. I skewed my jaw and rose from
my chair, put the DVD back in its case and returned it to my room.
Mum began filling the bath before coming to unfasten the buttons
running down the back of my dress. “What do you say?” she said as
I began to remove it.
“Thank you Mummy.”
I sheepishly said.
She smiled and slid the
Alice band from my hair. I'd pretty much got used to its presence and
had almost forgotten about it. She ran her fingers through my hair
and said “I'm looking forward to seeing this with some curls.”
She smiled. I chose my words carefully before telling her that I
didn't want curly hair, but Mum assured me that they'd only last the
day. “None of your school friends will ever know.” she claimed.
I removed a nappy from
my drawer and took the rubbers from the radiator and placed both on
the cistern. As before, the bath was warm rather than hot and full of
bubbles. Mum washed, conditioned and rinsed my hair before leaving me
alone to bathe. I returned to my room wearing my nappy and rubbers
and mum asked if I'd put plenty of nappy rash cream on. “Yes
Mummy.” I mumbled as she rooted my pyjamas from beneath my pillow.
I use the term loosely as my pyjamas consist of a girl's pyjama top
and the baggy cotton over knickers that conceal my nappy. Mum sits me
at my desk and blow dries my hair, then squirts a dollop of mousse
into the palm of her hand and begins rubbing it in to my hair.
“What's that for? ...Mummy?” I hesitantly asked.
“It's to help your
curls hold.” she said. Half an hour later I found myself sat
cross-legged on a cushion in the lounge and Mum is tying the last of
the rags in my hair. I can't imagine getting to sleep but Mum assures
me that I will. “I used to love having my hair in rags when I was a
girl.” she said, adding that hers was much longer than mine. A hair
net was added to stop the rags working loose in my sleep. After a
goodnight kiss I took myself to my room, pausing for a moment in
front of the big hallway mirror. I can't describe what my head looks
like, but my nappy has already expanded from being vacuum packed and
now fills my cotton over knickers. It, like my head looks bulbous and
frankly, I look ridiculous. With a deep sigh and heavy heart I
trundled up to my bedroom and climbed into bed.
When I
woke I wondered what was on my head for a moment. Then I recalled Mum
putting my hair in rags and all became clear. When Mum came to me,
she opened my curtains and asked if I'd slept well. “Yes Mummy.”
I meekly replied. She asked if I was dry and I shook my head then
hung it.
“Well let's get your
clothes ready, then you can have a shower.” she smiled. “Your
rags look like they've all stayed in.” she commented. “I can't
wait to see how it looks.”
I removed a clean pair
of knickers and a training bra from my underwear drawer and laid them
on my bed. Mum said I'd be wearing tights today and put a pair by my
undies, before telling me to get my Sunday dress out of my wardrobe.
I wasn't looking forward to wearing it but I was looking forward to
getting out of my humbling nightclothes and sodden nappy. Mum checked
my bedding and discovered that my rubbers had leaked a little which
meant I had to strip my bed of its sheet and duvet cover. I was glad
to put Barbie in the laundry basket, but not as glad as I was to get
out of my nightclothes and nappy and under the warm shower. A plastic
shower cap kept my netted hair dry.
Before long I found
myself being buttoned into my Sunday dress. Compared to yesterday's
infantile and colourful car print, the pale green and white stripes
are a welcome alternative. However the thin white tights that clad my
legs feel weird, and wearing my heeled shoes for the first time since
I tried them in the shoe shop makes me feel a little too tall for
comfort. Even when sat at my desk the heels feel significant because
my knees are too high. “This is going to look lovely!” Mum
exclaimed having removed half of my rags.
I couldn't share in her
enthusiasm as I watched via my mirror. If anything I'm going to look
more ridiculous than I ever imagined... but my main concern is that
my curls do come out in time for school tomorrow as my mother had
claimed. She faffed with it; separating each curl into two or three
short loose spirals, then she put a couple of clips in. “Oh
mu-um... mummy... that looks silly.” I protested. It looked bad
enough being curly but the addition of a bow on either side of my
crown seemed like a step too far. Mum told me that they looked nice,
and claimed that I only think it looks silly because I'm not used to
wearing hair accessories. Maybe she's right, but I still feel silly
even if, as she claims, I do look nice. “Be careful in those
heels.” she advised as I rose from my seat. Mum stood back and
looked me up and down. She bore a smug, almost triumphant smile.
I don't think I've ever
descended the stairs so cautiously, nor observed myself so closely. A
stockinged knee appeared with every step. I could feel the nylon
shift and stretch over my legs. My short curls brushed the tops of my
ears and when my heels clanked against the hardwood hallway floor, I
was greeted with an almost complete reflection of myself. My jaw
dropped a little but I forced myself not to loiter. “Are my shoes
supposed to be this noisy?” I asked as they clicked and clacked to
the kitchen.
“Polite boys say
'mummy' before asking a question.” my mother reminded me.
“Sorry.” I gulped.
“Mummy?” I meekly asked.
“Yes Gavin.” Mum
replied in a patronising tone. I reiterated my question and was told
that whilst heeled shoes do make a noise, I should endeavour to tread
lightly in them. “Remember what the lady in the shoe shop said.”
I cast my mind back to
the humiliation of being led back and forth in the shoe shop; be
cautious yet confident, walk with grace not haste, step on both toe
and heel... it'd be a lot easier if these shoes didn't have a heel.
Maybe I should have been more proactive in the shoe shop and
expressed a preference for those ubiquitous ballet shoes all the
girls tend to wear. At least then I’d be walking around in flats
rather than tottering on heels all day... not that I did much of
anything on Sunday. Mummy said that Sunday is a 'rest' day for
petticoated boys which means sedentary activities such as reading...
that kind of thing. I wanted to continue working on my cross-stitch
design but mum suggested I read one of my new story books. “...but
they're all girl's books Mummy.” I reluctantly moaned.
“They're also
petticoated boy's books Gavin.” my mother replied. “Now if you
can't find something to read, maybe we'll go for a nice stroll in the
park and feed the ducks instead.” she said.
Time ticked slowly and
the stories in Once Upon a Wish didn't help. The central
characters wished for a new pair of shoes, a best friend, to become a
princess and wear elegant dresses. The Girl's Own Adventure
book was better, but only marginally. Mum recommended one of her
favourite childhood books; Anne of Green Gables. A story about
an orphan who's sent to live on a farm in rural Canada, the problem
is, they wanted a boy to help out on the farm but got sent a girl
instead. She also suggested A Little Princess, but the title
alone put me off.
After an enjoyable
roast dinner, I helped Mum tidy the kitchen before we put some clean
sheets on my bed. The fairy castle duvet cover may not be ideal, but
it's a welcome change from a big picture of Barbie. Once that was
done, I dusted my furniture and vacuumed the carpet. Mum suggested we
watch another of my Disney Princess DVDs, but her preference for
Cinderella prompted me to continue reading Anne of Green Gables.
The
story so far didn't really engage me but I could relate to Anne...
she feels out of place in her new life just as I feel out of place in
mine... although for me, four weeks from now everything should go
back to normal. No more dresses and no more nappies!
Sunday
dragged on but bath time came far too early. Thankfully the curls
dropped right out of my hair after being washed and conditioned and
blow dried. With my pyjama top in the laundry basket, a girl's
nightie lay waiting on my bed alongside a clean pair of white cotton
over knickers. The nightie is lilac with short capped sleeves and
lettuce edge hems, and a crescent moon and clouds printed on the
front. It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't have 'sweet dreams' printed
in pink glittery lettering. But at least it covers my frilly cotton
over knickers and bulbous nappy... just.
The
next day I hoped would be a brief return to normality since I'd be
wearing my school uniform... but beneath it I'm wearing my training
bra and knickers. I didn't really give my girlie underwear any
thought when I had my dresses on but now I'm wearing my own familiar
clothes, my underwear is in the forefront of my mind. I glance in
Callum's direction as I enter my form room but we don't make eye
contact. I don't know him very well because we never seemed to have
anything in common, yet now I know what we do have in common leaves
me wondering if I want to know him any better.
Jason
approached me during morning break and asked “Did she go ahead and
do it?”
I
gulped and nodded. “You won't say owt will you?”
“Nah.”
he replied. “What's it like?” he asked.
“Shite.”
I moaned. “But I'd rather not talk about it.” I added.
“Fair
enough.” he said, glancing at my chest. I got the feeling that he
was looking through my jumper and shirt to the training bra beneath,
but maybe I'm just being paranoid. I shifted the focus from myself
and asked him what he'd done over the weekend. “Not a lot... went
to town on Saturday and played FIFA all day yesterday.” he replied.
“Did
you win?” I dryly asked. He enthused over some memorable moments.
Meanwhile, the events of my weekend flashed through my mind. “My
Playstation's in the loft for the next four weeks.” I frowned.
“My
cousin's allowed a Playstation.” Jason replied. “He's not allowed
any decent games though.” he added. “It's all Barbie's Puppy
Rescue and Lego Friends, Dance Star and Enchanted Journey.”
“Blimey...
I'm glad Mum put mine in the loft.” I glumly said.
In
the afternoon, one of my teachers asked me to stay back for a moment
after class and asked how I was getting on. “OK Miss.” I replied.
“Well
I hope so.” she smiled. “I just wanted to remind you that we take
bullying and harassment very seriously so if you experience anything,
don't hesitate to let me or another teacher know.”
“Err...
OK Miss... but I haven't.”
“That's
good.” she said. “I know how tricky it can be for new
petticoatees.” she added. I gulped and wondered how she knew. She
gave me a pursed smile which I expect she felt might reassure me, but
it didn't. “Just remember that petticoating isn't a punishment.”
she said.
“Yes
Miss.” I gulped.
“And
it's nothing to be ashamed of either.” she added as she rose from
her desk and stood alongside me. “Now... I need to check that
you're not removing your training bra.” she told me, resting her
fingers on my back and feeling for the fastening on the back of my
chest band. “You'll be amazed how many boys think they can slip it
off in the toilets and put it back on before going home.” she said.
“How
many others are there?” I asked.
“Well
I'm not at liberty to say Gavin... but you're not the only one.”
she claimed. She went onto explain that each day I'll be randomly
held back after one of my classes so a teacher can check that I’m
not breaking the rules.
I
could feel myself blushing as I headed to my final class of the day.
Knowing that all my teachers know that I'm now a petticoatee doesn't
sit easy with me. I fear that it's only a matter of time before
rumours begin to circulate as they had with Callum's trip to
PettiCamp. I wonder what that's like?
“How
was school?” my mother asked when I returned home.
“OK
Mummy.” I meekly replied, before asking if all
my teachers know that I’ve been petticoated.
“Yes.”
Mum replied, before telling me to go and change. “...and put some
clean knickers on.” she added as I sauntered up the stairs.
On
my bed lay the clothes I'd laid out this morning; a white blouse with
both lacy and frilly details, a pair of powder blue shorts with
attached matching braces, a white camisole vest, a pair of white
ankle socks with frilly cuffs, and on the floor my blue jelly shoes.
I hung up my school uniform, pulled on a clean pair of knickers,
donned the camisole over my training bra and stepped into the shorts.
They fasten at the back with a button and zip whilst having four
buttons in the front purely as decoration. They sit high and snug on
my waist and are so short they leave my legs fully exposed. With the
braces dangling I don the blouse which also fastens at the back.
“Mummy!” I meekly call from the top of the stairs. “Can you do
my buttons please?” I ask when she appears.
“Of
course.” she replied, climbing the stairs.
After
buttoning me in and adjusting the braces to the correct length, Mum
began faffing with my hair and put a couple of slides in, holding my
fringe off my face. It looked bizarre but I didn't say anything. Mum
said I looked very cute and removed a small item from between the
dolls on my bookshelf. “What's that?” I asked, quickly adding
“Mummy.” before she could raise her eyebrow.
“It's
a nanny-cam.” she said, holding the device so I could see it. No
bigger than a reel of cotton, the small wi-fi camera has been spying
on me probably since Friday evening and I was rightly disgruntled.
“I
haven't been spying on you Gavin. I've been keeping an eye on you.”
she told me. “You've been very good so far; getting straight into
bed and staying there 'til morning.” she added. “Let's keep it
that way shall we.” she said.
Mum
took me down to the kitchen and out onto the patio, grabbing her
smart-phone on the way. Scrawled in chalk on the concrete slabs is
the recognisable hopscotch grid. Mum asked if I've ever played
before. I shook my head. “Well the first thing you need is a
stone.” she said. “...not too big and not too small and not too
round so it won't roll... and take one from the raised beds that
hasn't got any dirt on.”
The
area around the patio isn't overlooked by any of our neighbours but
the raised beds are. I dash over the lawn, spend a couple of seconds
finding a suitable stone and dart back with it. “Is this OK …
Mummy?”
“Perfect.”
Mum smiles, taking it from me and demonstrating how the game should
be played. After a couple of runs she gives the stone to me. “Now
you try.”
I
felt incredibly sheepish as I hopped and skipped up and down the
court. I staggered when retrieving my stone which would have meant my
turn would be over, but since I’m playing solo, I just begin again,
tossing the stone into the first square, skipping over it, hopping up
the court and back. “Well done!” Mum says. “Now toss the stone
into number two.” she said. “Good.”
This
is going to get hard when I'm aiming for the high numbers, I think as
I toss the stone into number three and it lands dangerously close to
the line. Mum's stood by the patio table but is paying more attention
to her phone than me. I skip and hop up the court and return. Mum
tells me to continue playing for fifteen minutes. She shows me her
phone which displays an image of the patio and me in the centre. I
gulp and glance at the tiny camera perched on the table with its lens
facing me. “I'll be keeping an eye on you.” Mum said, before
leaving me alone.
I
just stood for a moment before returning to the game. My friends are
going to think I'm such a sissy if any of this gets out, I think as I
skip and hop, knowing that I'm being watched and maybe even recorded.
On mum's phone the image was too small to clearly be me... it could
have been anyone wearing little blue shorts and a prissy white blouse
with pale thin legs, frilly ankle socks and girlie blue jelly shoes.
As
predicted, getting the stone into the higher numbered squares was
difficult. But rather than ending my turn and starting again I
continued aiming for square number six until I got it. “Yesss” I
hissed before hopping up the court, skipping over my stone... hop,
skip, step, turn, back, hop, skip, grab, hop, hop, hop.
After
some ten minutes I could feel myself getting out of breath. All this
skipping and hopping is harder than it looks and getting my stone in
the correct square without bouncing out requires both concentration
and skill. For a little girl's game, hopscotch is more fun than I
expected. Mum appeared with a glass of orange juice for me. “Thank
you Mummy.” I said before gulping it down. Mum told me not to gulp.
“Sorry... Mummy.”
“If
you get orange juice on your blouse it might stain.” she said.
“Then it'd be ruined.” she added, subtly reminding me of the
consequences. “I don't supposed you've ever played with one of
these before either.” Mum asked, revealing a skipping rope. I
gulped and shook my head. Mum quickly demonstrated before handing the
rope to me. “It might not come naturally but just keep trying.”
she said. “You've got fifteen minutes.”
Mum
watched for a moment as I tried and failed to skip with a rope.
“Can't I just keep playing hopscotch?” I asked.
“I'd
rather you kept trying.” Mum replied. “Girls can do it so there's
no reason why a boy can't.” she stated before leaving me alone.
It
was a humbling fifteen minutes. Why is something that looks so simple
so difficult for me? I managed a couple of proper skips but certainly
didn't get into the swing of it. When mum returned I was out of puff
and disheartened. “It's really hard.” I moaned.
“With
practice it'll come.” she said before taking me indoors. After my
thirty minutes of active play it's homework time. Mum sent me to my
room with my school bag as well as the little wireless nanny-camera
and told me to put it on the bookshelf between my dolls with its lens
facing the window.
I
glanced at my reflection as I passed the hallway mirror. These 'cute'
shorts with their broad blue braces over my prissy white blouse look
far worse than either of my dresses did. They wouldn't be quite so
bad if they were a bit longer but as they are, they couldn't get any
shorter. I put the camera on the shelf and frowned at it. I wonder if
it records or just watches. The thought of there being video evidence
of me wearing a nappy, climbing into my Barbie bed, stepping into my
dresses or being buttoned into my blouse sent shivers down my spine.
“Does it record sound?” I wondered aloud. I certainly hoped not.
I
couldn't help but intermittently glance toward my dolls as I worked
through my homework assignments. The camera sits discreetly between
them. Its unblinking eye always watching. I'm tempted to shove it
back a little so the folds of a doll's dress would obscure its view
but Mum would see and I’d probably get in trouble.
Over
supper I asked if the camera records what it sees and
disappointingly, Mum said it did. However she also said that its
memory card has limited space and it all gets deleted in the
mornings. “...after I've reviewed it to make sure you stayed in bed
all night.” she added.
“I
do.” I defensively stated.
“I
know.” Mum replied, before telling me that it does record the sound
too. After supper she showed me a short section of video of me
playing hopscotch. “Oh that's nice... look you're smiling.” Mum
said, pausing the clip and zooming into my face. “I can even
capture a still.” she said, opening a menu on her phone and tapping
on 'save still to memory'.
“Please
don't show that to anyone Mummy.” I pleaded.
“Well
since you asked so nicely.” mum replied. “But I will be showing
some of them to Granny if that's OK with you?” she added. I gulped
and nodded. “Why don't you spend an hour on your cross-stitch
design before your bath.” she suggested.
“OK
Mummy.” I meekly muttered.
The
following day, my morning routine began when Mum unlocked my bedroom
door. She opened my curtains and asked if I was dry. I shook my head.
Under my mother's direction, I laid out the clothes I’d be wearing
when I got home from school before having a quick shower. Tonight
I'll be wearing a cute yellow T shirt with a Princess Aurora print
and a yellow gingham skirt; tiered with broderie anglaise trim. I'm
not looking forward to it but at least it'll cover my pale skinny
legs more than those shorts did.
At
school, Mrs Brennand asked me to stay back after class before going
for lunch. She asked how I was getting along and discreetly pressed
her fingers into the middle of my back, checking that I hadn't
removed my training bra. “Now don't forget you'll be joining the
homework group instead of PE for the last period.” she reminded me.
“Yes
Miss.” I replied.
“It's
in the study room opposite the library.” she informed me before
letting me go.
I
couldn't help but worry that one of the kids might innocently pat me
on the back, or somehow haphazardly brush it and feel the fastening
on the back of my training bra. After lunch I had double history
followed by what would have been double PE. I headed toward the
library whilst the other kids went in the opposite direction. “Oi
Gav.” a voice called. I stopped and turned. “You going to the
homework group?”
“Yeah.”
I mournfully replied.
“How
come?” Callum asked. I skewed my jaw, gulped and timidly told him
that I've been petticoated. “I'd be careful who I’d say that to
if I were you.” he told me. “One friend found out about me going
to PettiCamp this summer and now everyone knows.”
“What
is PettiCamp?”
“I'm
sure you can guess.” he dryly retorted. “If anyone else asks why
you're not doing PE, don't tell them the truth... tell them you've
got asthma or a chest infection or something.”
“I
get the feeling there's quite a few of us.” I said as we approached
the library. “Is everyone in the homework group one?”
“Nah...
some really do have asthma.” he said before pushing the study room
door open.
Inside
is twelve, maybe fifteen kids. Some sit alone, some in pairs. Most
are boys and there's a few girls too. We study in relative silence
with Mrs Brennand watching over us for the entire double period. The
end of school bell rings and we pack up our books and filter out.
Callum and I head in the same direction and I ask how long he's been
petticoated for. “About eight months.” he replied, adding “Since
my birthday.”
“That's
ages.” I said.
“Tell
me about it.” he moaned. “It was the worst birthday ever.”
“Why?”
I asked. I cringed the moment I said it. What a stupid question!
Unlike me who'd been pre-warned, Callum was dropped in at the deep
end on the morning of his thirteenth birthday. He was hoping for an
X-Box One and loads of cool games but instead he got loads of girl
stuff and hasn't been a normal boy since. “Blimey!” I gasped. “I
hope I don't get loads of girl stuff for my birthday.”
“When
is it?”
“Couple
of weeks.” I replied, before telling him that my mother delayed my
month long trial to make sure that my birthday fell within it. “I
hope I don't get loads of girl stuff.”
“You
will.” he claimed. “I reckon your mum's four week trial is just a
ploy to get you started.”
“Don't
say that.” I gulped, fearful that his theory might be correct. It
doesn't make any sense for my mother to spend loads of money on
clothes, shoes, books and films just for a few weeks. Callum and I
went our separate ways at the school gates. I wondered home mulling
over whether or not to ask my mother about my four week trial. I also
imagined how it must have felt for Callum; being dropped into
petticoating on his birthday of all days! I guess Mum was right when
she said I was lucky that I had a few weeks to get my head around it.
A
shudder went down my spine as I recalled the clothes I’d laid out
this morning. “Oh god.” I groaned as I unwittingly visualised
myself skipping on the patio whilst dressed as a daffodil, and before
too long I found myself doing just that... but without the actual
skipping bit. The tiered gingham skirt was far shorter than I
imagined and was afraid to jump too high for fear of flashing my
knickers. Every time I swung the rope over my head it got snagged on
my foot... but eventually I managed a couple of skips before slipping
up.
After
fifteen minutes of trying to skip with a rope I had fifteen minutes
of skipping and hopping up and down my hopscotch court. I did my best
to stop my skirt from bouncing up but afterwards when mum showed me a
movie clip of me playing hopscotch, I realised that my best wasn't
good enough. “It's too short Mummy.” I whined when I realised
just how often I'd flashed my panties.
Mum
agreed that my skirt was short but claimed that it wasn't too short.
“It's short because you need to get some sun on these.” she said,
patting her hand on my lap.
“Why?”
I asked. “Mummy.” I muttered.
“Because
they'll look nicer with a bit of a tan.”
“But
I'm only going to be petticoated for four weeks... why does it
matter?”
“It's
going to be four weeks and a day if you keep this up young man.”
she sternly stated. I hung my head an apologised. Mum adopted a
calmer tone and said that I'll get a nice tan after playing outside
for a few days which will begin to fade in a few weeks. “Have you
got some homework to do?” she asked.
“I
did it all in that homework group.” I replied.
“How
was that?”
“OK...
just a bunch of kids doing their homework instead of PE.” I said. I
chose not to tell her about my chat with Callum. I don't want to give
her any ideas.
“Well
in that case you can do some more active play.” she smugly told me.
My face dropped. “Come on.” she encouraged. “You've almost got
the hang of your skipping rope and when you do get the hang of it
you'll enjoy it.”
“But
my skirt's too short for skipping.”
“Nonsense.”
Mum said. “Anyway if you're not flashing your knickers then you're
not skipping high enough.”
“You're
only trying to embarrass me Mummy. You wouldn't say that if I was a
girl.” I bashfully retorted.
“I'm
trying to embarrass you into not worrying so much about your knickers
Gavin.” my mother cheerfully claimed.
I
could feel my blushes as held the rope at the back of my calves, took
a moment to breathe and swung it over my head... only to miss my
timing and catch the rope on my ankle. I tried and failed a few times
before Mummy suggested a rhyme to help my timing. “I don't know
any.” I meekly replied.
“Well
there's a book full of skipping rhymes in your bedroom... or you
could just make one up.” she said, suggesting something like one
petticoat, two petticoat, three petticoat, four... five petticoat,
six petticoat, seven petticoat, more...
I
assumed the starting position and swallowed my pride, swung the rope
and recited the rhyme. “One petticoat, two petticoat, three
petticoat, four... five petticoat, six petticoat, seven petticoat,
more...” I came to deliberate standstill. “Mummy I did it!” I
grinned.
“You
did.” she grinned. “...but you don't have to stop at the end of
the rhyme... you can keep on counting, start at the beginning again
or just make something up.”
I
began again. “One petticoat, two petticoat, three petticoat,
four... five petticoat, six petticoat, seven petticoat, more... eight
petticoat, nine petticoat, ten petticoat, twelve...” I stopped and
bashfully said that I'd missed out number eleven.
“That
doesn't matter.” Mum replied. “The main thing is you're
learning.”
With
a rhyme to help me skip in time and not worrying so much about my
little skirt bouncing up and down, I spent a good twenty minutes
skipping happily on the patio... not that I'd admit that to any of my
friends. I was out of puff and Mummy told me that I'd had enough
active play for today. I wrapped up my skipping rope and took it to
my room, proud that I'd sussed out how to use it. I intended to work
on my cross-stitch design but first I scanned the titles on my
bookshelf and removed the book titled Skipping and Rhyming Games for
Girls.
Many
I recall from junior school; Sailor sailor, Cinderella dressed in
blue, Pat-a-cake pat-a-cake baker's man and One two buckle my shoe.
Some were completely new to me and this one I found most curious;
Naughty Jack all dressed in black with silver buttons down
his back. He told a lie and then he cried and stole a hanky for his
eyes. The judge was mad his dad was sad his mother told him he'd been
bad, so naughty Jack was dressed in black with silver buttons down
his back. I couldn't help but
wonder if Naughty Jack had been petticoated for lying and thieving
since only girl's clothes have their buttons on the back.
The
rest of the week followed the same routine; bath time at 7pm, bedtime
at 8.00, a shower before breakfast and one of my teachers holds me
back after class to check that I'm wearing my training bra. Then
there's half an hour of active play after school, followed by study
time when I complete my homework assignments. I can work on my
cross-stitch or read a book until bath time comes round again, then
its nappy time and bedtime at eight. The only thing that changes are
the clothes I lay out each morning which is either a pair of short
girlie shorts or short skirt with either a cute T shirt or a prissy
blouse. I've got the horrible blue shorts with braces, the yellow
gingham skirt, a pair of box pleated culotte shorts that look like a
skirt, a ditsy ra-ra skirt, several Disney T shirts and several
blouses.
On
Thursday I joined the homework group instead of PE and chatted to
Callum again afterwards. Like me he has to do active play at home
which involves skipping and hopscotch and dance. “I haven't done
any dance yet.” I told him. “Mummy says that's for rainy days.”
I added, before feeling myself blush for slipping up. “I mean...
Mum.” I gulped.
“Good
job it's me and not someone else.” Callum said. No one our age
calls their mother 'mummy' unless they're like us. I'll have to make
sure I don't make that mistake again. “Do you have to wear a girl's
school uniform too?” he asked me.
“No.”
I replied, sheepishly and briefly describing what I do wear. “Do
you?”
“Yeah.”
he glumly said.
“What's
it like?”
“Well...
it's like those.” he shrugged, gesturing towards a group of girls
who walked ahead of us wearing their short pleated skirts and a short
fitted blazer. “I thought we all had a girl's uniform.” he said.
“Maybe
I don't coz my mum's just trying it out.” I mused. “I think I'd
rather wear that than some of the stuff she makes me wear.”
“Yeah.”
Callum agreed. “I really don't like it but at least when I’m
wearing my girl's uniform I'm not dressed like a seven year old.”
I
felt a little devious for withholding my chats with Callum from my
mother. I fear that a; she might encourage our friendship and invite
him round, b, she might be inspired by what he's told me, and c, she
might like the idea of buying me a girl's school uniform to wear at
home... but considering what I currently wear after school, that
might not be so bad.
On
Friday I spend a good half hour playing hopscotch and skipping on the
patio. I also have a go at hula-hoop which is a; really easy and b,
quite boring after a couple of minutes... it's just swaying my hips a
bit and the momentum keeps the hoop going. I spent an hour
completeing my homework before helping Mummy with supper and clearing
up afterwards, and after my bath, Mum put my hair in rags again
because she wants Granny to see me with curls.
On
Saturday morning, my mother shows me how to sort my laundry and how
to operate the washing machine. I sort the whites from the darks and
put the delicates into a laundry bag. An hour or so later when the
cycle is complete, I hang my knickers, training bras, socks and
tights from a drying rack hung over the radiator in my bedroom. This
is something I'll be expected to do every Saturday morning and Mummy
tells me that all petticoatees do their own laundry.
I'm
driven to Granny's wearing my infantile car print dress and two pale
blue slides in my curled hair. Granny greets me with a bemused smile.
She agrees that my hair looks nice and comments that I'm wearing the
same dress again. “Well he's only got two... this one and his
Sunday dress.” Mum defensively replied.
“I've
got loads of other stuff too Mummy.” I reminded her, listing my
skirts, shorts and blouses.
“Yes
but they're your play clothes for after school.” Mum replied. “You
wear dresses at the weekend.” she reminded me. “Show Granny your
cross-stitch Gavin.” she said, lowering her eyes to the carrier bag
I held.
“Is
this your sampler?” Granny asked as I rooted in the bag.
“It's
not finished yet.” I said, handing her the barely started craft
project. I'd done my name and a couple of dividers, plus the capital
letters A through to M. “I'm going to put the date in here when
it's finished.” I said, pointing to the void below my name.
“It's
very good so far.” Granny said, before enquiring about the space
invaders.
“I've
not done those yet.” I said, pointing out where they'll go. I dug
out my plan on a sheet of graph paper and showed it to her. “It's
going to have pac-man running around the outside, and some ghosts as
well.”
“Lovely.”
Granny replied. I got the feeling that she didn’t know what pac-man
was, but a while later as I sat doing my needlework and Granny sat
wittering with her knitting, she told me that she loved my ideas for
my sampler, saying that pac-man and space invaders are a good forty
years old. “You've given a vintage craft a retro twist. I can't
wait to see the finished article.”
Granny
asked how my week had been and I told her it had been OK. I told her
that I don't have to do PE at school for a while and do my homework
instead, and have half an hour of active play when I get home. “And
what's that?” she asked.
“Well...mostly
skipping or playing hopscotch. I have a hula-hoop too but that's
boring.” I told her.
“And
what do your friends think now you've been petticoated?” she asked.
“Only
two of them know.” I said, informing her that my friend Jason has a
cousin who's a petticoatee, and Callum, a boy in my class is also a
petticoated boy.
“Well
I suppose it's nice to know that you're not the only one.” Granny
smiled. “Do they wear nappies too?”
“I
think so.” I glumly replied, although I only have Jason's word for
it.
When
Mum returned from her shopping trip I'd completes both upper and
lower case alphabets on my sampler and the numbers one to three.
“You've done loads Gavin!” Mum exclaimed. “At this rate you'll
have it finished by next weekend.”
“I
hope so.” I said. “I want to design a minecraft one next.”
“I
thought we were going to make you a pinafore next.” mum replied.
“A
pinafore?” Granny quizzed.
“To
wear for supper so he doesn't get stains on his dresses or blouses.”
Mum replied.
“I
might have one.” Granny said. “...but it might be a bit too
Downton.” she added.
“It
might be a bit too big if it's one of yours Mum.” my mother
chuckled.
Granny
told us that a couple of years ago she'd helped to make a fancy dress
costume for a girl down the road, but at the last minute the girl
decided to go dressed as Wonder Woman wearing a shop bought costume.
“She didn't win anything of course... I think it was a boy dressed
as a robot who did.”
“So...
what costume were you making for her?” Mum asked.
“The
little match girl I seem to recall... it was for world book day I
think. She already had the drab brown dress and only needed an apron
to wear over it.”
“And
you've still got it?” Mum asked.
“Well
I'm not sure... I don't recall putting it in a charity bundle but I
haven't come across it in a good while either.” Granny replied.
“If
it's anywhere it'll be in your sewing cupboard.” Mum presumed.
Granny said it wouldn't be as she sorts that cupboard out quite
often... then she spent a moment in deep thought. Then she thought
some more. She furrowed her brow and stroked her chin... then, she
slowly unfurled her index finger. “Ah!” she blurted, almost
startling both my mother and I. “It's in the hall stand.” Granny
announced. “In the drawer, a white paper bag with stripes on.”
she recalled. “Would mind Gavin?”
I
went to the hallway in which is an antique hall stand with a small
cupboard and drawer, along with coat hooks, a large mirror and a
space for storing umbrellas and walking canes. I glance at myself as
I open the drawer. Yesterday's boyish hair is short and curly today,
and thanks to a pair of hair slides flanking one side it looks all
the more girlie. I had to rummage a little before finding the bag
Granny described. I returned and handed it to her. “Thank you
Gavin.”
“You're
welcome Granny.” I said as I sat; smoothing my dress beneath myself
and straightening my skirt on my lap.
She
removed a white garment from the bag and unfolded it. “It'll need
an iron.” Granny said as she flattened it over her lap.
“It
looks perfect Mum!” my mother announced as Granny lifted it. “Just
what I had in mind.”
To
me it looks like a white dress with broad straps rather than sleeves.
There's little frills over the shoulders and big frilly bit all
around the hem, and when Granny turns it around I realise that it is
in fact an apron with no back other than a bit that buttons together.
I'm going to feel like an extra in The Little House on the Prairie if
I have to wear that, I thought. Granny suggested I try it for size
and Mum said it needs ironing first. “It'll definitely fit.” Mum
claimed. “And you'll be able to iron won't you Gavin.” she said.
Granny
seemed impressed that I'd ironed my school shirts and trousers last
Sunday. Mum proudly told her that domestication is a big part of
petticoating. “There's a lot more to it than just wearing dresses.”
she added.
Granny
set up the ironing board and Mum plugged in the iron. She told me
that because the pinny is pure cotton that it'll take a hot setting,
and I set the dial to the correct position. Ironing the flat sections
was easy enough, although I had to press really hard to get the
stubborn creases out. Granny told me how to do the frilly bits. They
were quite tricky but apparently they were 'perfect' when I’d
finished. Mum held it open and I put me fists through the holes. Two
big buttons fasten between my shoulders and they're al that hold it
together. It hangs like a tent from my shoulders... and a frilly tent
at that. “You look like one of the railway children.” Mum
grinned. I doubt she had the boy in mind.
I
didn't wear the pinny for long but it did come home with us and I
wore it whilst we had our supper. I can't say I liked my archaic
pinafore apron but it does serve a purpose... and bearing in mind the
consequences of staining one of my dresses, I find its presence
reassuring.
Mum
suggested that we watch another one of the movies from my Disney
Princess box set before my bath. I didn't really want to but I sense
a routine emerging and figured that she wouldn't take no for an
answer. I chose Aladdin and it was rubbish, however I diplomatically
described it as OK afterwards. “Mummy?” I meekly asked before
getting in the bath. “I had a bit of hair last week but now it's
almost gone.” I shyly told her.
“Let
me see.” Mum asked. I showed her and she told me that hair isn't
very hygienic now I'm wearing nappies again. “Your nappy rash cream
also makes the hair go away.” she informed me. “It'll be much
easier to keep yourself clean now it's gone.” she said, punctuating
her claim with a pursed smile.
I
got the feeling that it had nothing to do with hygiene and everything
to do with infantilisation, just as my nappies aren't to stop me from
waking her up in the middle of the night.
Granny
had accepted this week's invitation to join us for Sunday lunch. My
curls had dropped out and I wore an Alice band in my hair, along with
my Sunday dress, thin white tights and my black Mary Jane’s. I sat
in the lounge reading as Mum tended to lunch, and when Granny did
arrive, I was sent to let her in. I was in a bit of a panic as I
opened the front door... anyone could have been walking past. “You
look nice.” Granny smiled as she stepped inside. “Your curls have
dropped out I see.” she added.
“They
only last a day.” I replied. “Which is good because I don't want
them when I’m at school.” I added.
“You're
wearing heels.” she added as her eyes dropped to my feet. “...and
tights too I see.” she added. In the kitchen she greeted Mummy with
as hug and kiss before commenting on my appearance. She claimed that
I looked quite grown up for a petticoated boy. Compared to most of my
other new clothes, my Sunday dress is the least childlike but it
still has frills and short 'princess' sleeves. It's hardly something
a girl who's about to turn fourteen might choose, let alone a boy!
After
chatting with my mother for ages, Granny joined me in the sitting
room and asked what I was reading. “Anne of Green Gables.” I
replied.
“Oh
I loved that book when I was a girl.” she gushed. “Are you
enjoying it?”
“It's
OK.” I said. “I'm only allowed girl's books.” I glumly added.
Granny
said that it's not a girl's book but a classic book. “Everyone
should read it... Anne's a good role model for both girls and
boys.” she claimed.
After
a while, Mum called me through to the kitchen. She stood waiting with
my pinny. I put my hands through its arm holes and turned so she
could fasten the buttons. “Thank you Mummy.” I meekly said as I
looked down at my tent-like garment.
“Go
and show granny.” Mum chirped.
“She
saw it yesterday.” I reminded her.
“But
not with your Sunday dress.” Mum replied.
“How
long will dinner be?” I asked.
“Twenty
minutes or so.” my mother told me. Her eyes looked beyond me and I
turned to see my grandmother joining us.
I
felt bashful as Granny looked me up and down with an approving
expression. “It's like you've stepped back in time Gavin,” she
said. I didn't really know what to say so I gulped and smiled, shyly
thumbing the folds of my pinny. Mummy suggested I show Granny my
bedroom and whilst I’d have rather not, I did as I was told.
“Careful on the stairs in those heels.” Granny advised as she
followed me up. She cast her perplexed eyes around my room; from the
ballerina pictures on my walls to the fairy castle duvet on my bed.
She looked up at my Disney Princess lamps shade, then at the three
dolls on my bookshelf. On my desk is my semi-complete cross stitch
sampler along with my small selection of bow clips and hair slides. I
got the feeling that my grandmother didn't wholly approve. “It must
be easy to forget you're really a boy in here.” she said.
I
glanced around my girlie room. “If anything it reminds me that I am
a boy.” I said as she had a sneaky look inside my wardrobe, in
which my skirts and blouses and dress hung.
“Do
you have any favourites?” she quizzed. I shook my head and pointed
out a few items that I liked the least. Granny removed one of the
blouses. “It is very fussy isn't it.” she said. I gulped and
nodded. “Pretty though.” she added as she put it back. “Is
being petticoated as bad as you expected?” she asked after shutting
the wardrobe.
“I
don't mind my dresses so much... my shorts and skirts are all really
short, but worst of all is having to wear nappies again.” I told
her.
“Well
at least they're only at bedtime.” she replied, reminding me that
the norm is for new petticoatees is nappies both day and night for
the first few weeks. Just one day would be awful, I thought...but a
few weeks?! I guess I should be thankful but I can't help but feel
hard-done-by. Granny perused my bookshelves. “I see what you mean
about only having girl's books.” she smiled. I groaned in
agreement. “This is a good one.” she said, removing A Little
Princess and flicking through its pages. I grimaced and Granny gave
me a brief yet animated synopsis.
We
returned downstairs and Granny said my room was 'nice', if a little
infantile for an almost fourteen year old. “He's still a child
mother... and we both agree that children grow up to quickly these
days.” my mother replied. “Would you lay the table please Gavin?”
“Yes
Mummy.” I replied. My heels clacked on the tiled kitchen floor as I
tottered around the table, laying a setting for my mother, my
grandmother and myself. I placed the cruet set and gravy boat in the
centre whilst mummy plated the meals.
We
made small talk over dinner. Mum and Granny talked about the weather,
politics, me and the fact that I've learned to skip with a rope this
week. “Yes Gavin was telling yesterday. Hopscotch too, and hula
hoop?” Granny replied. I was chewing so I nodded. “Can you do a
running skip?” Granny asked.
“What's
a running skip.” I asked.
“You
know... running and skipping at the same time... I'm sure you've seen
girls doing it.” Granny replied. “If not on TV then when you were
at junior school.”
With
a little thought, I knew what she meant. “Is it hard?” I asked.
“Well
like most things... it's easy when you know how.” Granny replied.
“You
can give it try after school tomorrow.” Mum suggested. “Unless
it's raining.” she added.
“It's
forecast for rain all week.” Granny said. “But the garden needs
it... we've had such a long sunny spell.”
Mummy
and Granny embarked upon a conversation about gardening, in
particular, the proposed hosepipe ban and what that could mean for
their precious blooms. Meanwhile, I glumly visualised myself skipping
around the garden with my little skirt swishing this way and that.
The thought of it alone made me blush.
The
following days were grey and overcast, but so far the rain has held
off. Since I'd completed Tuesday's homework assignments in the
homework group at school, Mum said I should have an hour of active
play and encouraged me to try to do a running skip which meant
running around the garden. I was overtly reluctant about it because
unlike the secluded patio area, the rest of the garden is overlooked
by our neighbours. “You've got nothing to ashamed of Gavin.” Mum
claimed.
I
hung my head and felt the complete opposite. Today I’m wearing a
white Snow White T-shirt with see-through princess sleeves. The print
is obscured by the bib of a pair of spearmint green dungaree shorts
with floral trim on the pockets and turn-ups. My skinny legs are a
sun-blushed pink and on my feet is my pale blue jelly shoes and a
pair of frilly white ankle socks. Completing my outfit is a single
green satin bow flanking my skull. “But what if someone sees me?”
I gulped.
“I
understand why you're shy Gavin but other people aren't bothered how
you're dressed.” she told me. “You just need to get over your
stage fright.” she said, before suggesting that if I don't want to
try skipping around the garden, then I can run to the shops instead
because she needs some milk. The prospect of running to the local
shop wearing a pair of girl's dungaree shorts, lacy ankle socks and
princess T shirt sent shivers down my spine. With much reluctance, I
stood on the lawn with my skipping rope and briefly glanced up at all
the overlooking windows. I saw no one but felt as if loads of people
were watching me. Mum told me to begin by skipping normally, then
rather than jumping with both feet, to hop from one to the other as
if running on the spot. “Once you've got the hang of that, just
start moving forward.” Mum said. I caught to rope on my foot and
stopped. “...and don't worry about the neighbours.” she added as
I nervously glanced up at the windows. “They'll see you sooner or
later.” she claimed.
I
assumed the starting position with the rope at the back of my ankles
and began again... one petticoat, two petticoat, thee petticoat,
four... I recited. Hopping from one foot to the other is one thing
but moving forwards is the tricky bit. Mummy told me to keep trying
and went indoors. I imagined someone covertly watching me, sniggering
and giggling at the sissy boy skipping in his garden. Maybe from a
distance they'll think I'm a girl with short hair... but I doubt it.
Eventually I managed a few forward steps before snagging the rope on
my shoe. I tried again and managed a few more steps and felt quite
proud of myself. But with that thought I felt embarrassed... taking
pride in learning to do something that girls half my age can do
without thinking. After twenty minutes, Mum called me inside. I
didn't quite get the knack of the running skip but did make some
progress. “Can I have a drink please Mummy?” I asked.
“Of
course.” Mum replied. I prepared myself a glass of cordial and
gulped half of it down. “Don't gulp Gavin.”
“Sorry
Mummy.” I meekly said, wiping the drips from the side of my mouth.
“Let's
get your pinny on... supper's in twenty minutes.” she said. Worn
over my dungaree shorts, the apron feels more like a dress, only one
with no back. I did some more of my cross-stitch whilst waiting and
finally got the row of space invaders finished. After supper I helped
with the washing up, then on my mother's request, I showed her how my
sampler was coming along. “That's very good Gavin... you're proving
to be quite nimble.” she told me.
“Can
I do a minecraft one when this is finished?” I asked.
“I
think you should try some proper sewing next.” Mum replied,
suggesting a pencil case or pyjama case... or maybe another apron. I
didn't think I needed another apron but Mum said I could have one to
wear whilst the other's in the wash. Then she suggests a skirt or a
little 'sun' dress, claiming that they're also quite easy for the
beginner.
“Will
I be allowed to make the miniature garden one day Mummy?” I asked.
“I won't get dirty if I wear my apron.” I said.
“True.”
Mum replied. “Tell you what... if you start helping me in the
garden; weeding, tidying, potting and planting... then you can make a
miniature one of your own.”
It
seemed like a far deal, but it would mean I’d be venturing into the
parts of the back garden that are overlooked by our neighbours. Then
there's a small front garden as well... I hope she doesn't want me to
help there too!
After
the homework group on Thursday I had a moan to Callum about my mum
making me practice my skipping in the middle of the garden where all
the neighbours could see me. “She's probably just getting you ready
for your first public outing.” he told me. “At first I figured
that being petticoated meant I was grounded too... but then my
babysitter couldn't make it and I had to go shopping with mummy... I
mean, mum.”
“You've
got a babysitter?!” I blurted.
“Keep
it down!” he barked under his breath, glancing around nervously.
“Soz.”
I said. He told me that his babysitter is an older girl from down the
road. She used to mind him on Saturdays whilst his mother went
shopping, and a few evenings each week when his mother went to her
bridge club or had a dinner date. However since his babysitter took
up riding lessons on Saturday, he only has her a couple of evenings
each week. “So you have to go shopping with mother every Saturday?”
I asked. The mere thought of being petticoated in town on a Saturday
astonished me, but his reply was all the more astonishing...
“No...
I go to a ballet class instead and Mummy... I mean Mum picks me up
afterwards.”
“Blimey!”
I gasped. “What's that like?”
“Better
than being paraded around town.” he grimly replied.
Every
time I learned something new about Callum's petticoating regime I
felt a little more at ease with my own. However his claim that it's
only a matter of time before my mother takes me somewhere public left
me feeling more than a little anxious. I arrived home and as usual,
Mummy asked if I'd had a nice day at school before sending me to
change. Today I’m wearing my little blue shorts with the broad
braces again, but with white tights instead of socks. Mum buttoned me
into the blouse and put a couple of clips in my hair, before sending
me out to play. It's been overcast for the last few days but it still
hasn't rained properly. There's also a slight chill in the air and
Mum asks if I'm warm enough as she positions the nanny-cam on the
patio table. “Yes Mummy.” I meekly replied. A shudder still
sparks down my spine every time I say 'mummy'. I don't think I'll
ever get used to it.
Wearing
tights with my shorts both looks and feels really odd. Mum said
they'll keep the chill of me but I know how active play warms me
up... and it's June... it's hardly a winter chill. Of course I didn't
argue all this when Mummy was deciding what I'd wear today. I played
hopscotch for fifteen minutes before Mum popped her head out of the
patio door and told me to skip around the garden. “But I can't do
it Mummy... can I just skip on the spot instead?” I asked.
“You
almost got the hang of it yesterday Gavin... you just need to keep at
it.” Mum said, reminding me that I should be able to do anything a
girl can do. I spent the rest of my active play session trying and
failing to run and skip. I felt like a failure but Mum said so long
as I keep trying, I can't fail. “Just try again tomorrow.” she
said.
During
Friday's lunch break, Jason asked how things were at home. “Pretty
shit.” I glumly replied, before timidly telling him about my
'active play' sessions. “...and now I'm expected to skip round the
garden where all the neighbours can see me!” I added.
“My
cousin has to do that too.” Jason replied, listing skipping,
two-balls, hopscotch, balloon volleyball and basket ball.
“Basket
ball!” I exclaimed.
“Well...
it's netball really... but I call it basket ball.” he replied.
“What's
two-balls?”
“You
know... when girls have two tennis balls and bounce them off a wall
while reciting a rhyme and doings skips and turns and things.” he
vaguely explained. “It's really complicated.” he added.
I
recall seeing the game on old movie reels. Black and white footage of
scruffy urban kids playing on the streets and back alleys in the
nineteen-fifties or sixties. I never knew what it was called or
exactly how it's played, but now I know it's called 'two-balls', I
might mention it to mummy. Like hopscotch, it's something I can only
play on the secluded patio. The same goes for a basketball hoop. I
might even get some brownie points if I suggest some new activities
to try during playtime... activities that don't involve skipping
around the garden.
As
I saunter home from school, I glumly envisage watching myself
skipping around the garden from an upstairs window. It's a sorry
sight. My little skirt swishing this way and that, a big floppy bow
bouncing off the top of my head, the rope swinging beneath my dainty
feet, clad in girlie jelly shoes and frilly ankle socks, my pale
skinny legs... I can feel myself blushing just thinking about it.
Then
something positive happens... a drop of rain lands on my cheek and I
cast my eyes skyward. It hasn't rained for weeks and I can't imagine
my mother making me play outside in the rain. I can't imagine playing
hopscotch of skipping indoors either. It's only spitting but
hopefully the rain will become a shower and I'll be spared the
humiliation of active play for today. “Thank you!” I whisper to
the clouds before pulling my hood over my head. The rain is getting
worse and I hurry my pace.
After
the usual 'how was school' small talk, I cast my eyes to the rain
spattered window and if I still had to play outside. “Not today
Gavin, you'll get soaked.” she replied.
“Shall
I get started on my homework then?” I suggested, claiming that I’ve
got quite a lot.
“You
still need your exercise.” Mum retorted, adding the mantra:
thirty minutes, active play, after school, every day.
“But
what can I do?” I quizzed.
“You
can change out of those school clothes for a start.” she said. As
is my routine, I lay out my evening 'play' clothes before school each
morning. Today it's a fussy white blouse, my yellow tiered skirt,
white tights and my blue jelly shoes. I hate yellow most of all. It's
like wearing a daffodil.
Feeling
like a condemned man, I mournfully march to my bedroom. I remove my
jumper and unbutton my shirt. It's usually about this time that my
mother appears... just as I’m revealing my training bra. And right
on queue she's there; straightening my chest band and asking if one
of my teachers checked it today. “Yes Mummy.” I said. “Miss
Parker after history class.” I added.
“Good.”
she said, before turning her eyes to the outfit on my bed. “Well
since it's raining, you may as well put these away.” she told me.
“Really?!”
I asked with a hint of joy in my voice.
“Don't
get your hopes up.” Mum warned as I put my skirt and blouse in the
wardrobe.
“Why?”
I cautiously asked as she crouched in front of my bookshelf.
She
removed a book. “Because on rainy days... you do this.” she said,
handing the book to me.
My
jaw dropped as the book landed in my hands... My First Ballet Book.
“Ballet?!” I gulped.
Mum
smiled and nodded. Her eyes dropped to the area beside my wardrobe
and mine followed. At first I thought 'pop-up tent' being a big round
waterproof bag. “I was beginning to think we might never see a
rainy day.” Mum chirped as she grabbed the bag. “And I know it
looks like a pop-up play tent but...” she said as she laid it flat
and unfastened the zip.
“Oh
please Mummy not one of those!” I gasped when I realised what was
inside.
“What
did you expect?” Mum asked. I was too agog to reply. “There's
tights, shoes, a leotard and off course a tutu.” she said.
“It's
all pink.” I grimaced.
“Well
pink is traditional... especially for beginners.”
My
eyes dropped to the book in my hands.
It comes with an
instructional DVD which I guess means I'll be in the lounge... and I
notice that it's a 'special boys edition' which makes me wonder if
the ugly girl on the cover could really be a boy. As I stand
dumbstruck, gorping at the cover of my ballet book in disbelief,
Mum's unpacking my tutu. “Come on Gavin... the sooner you begin the
sooner it'll be over.” Mum said. The tights and leotard lay in wait
on my bed. I began to unfasten my trousers. “And clean knickers
remember.” Mum added.
I dropped my pants and
folded them, then dropped my panties and tossed them in my laundry
bin. Thanks to the nappy rash cream's depilatory additive, I've not
got any hair at all down there any more. I quickly step into a clean
pair of knickers and spent a second wondering if the tights go under
or over the leotard. “Tights first.” Mum said as if reading my
mind.
Unlike the thin white
tights I wear with my Sunday dress, these are thick, and pink. I step
into the leotard and pull it on. “How am I suppose to go to the
toilet?” I asked, realising that the tights and leotard pretty much
sealed me in.
“By more or less
getting undressed.” my mother replied. That seemed odd to me and I
guess my expression revealed my thoughts. “You could always put a
nappy on if it seems like too much trouble.” she bluntly suggested.
The tutu has its own inbuilt panties over which the multitude of
layers continue. I step into it and Mum fastens the hook and look
fastenings at the small of my back. “Actually I think a nappy might
not be such a bad idea.” she said. “These are quite fiddly.”
“I don't want to wear
a nappy mummy.” I whined.
“Well it's going to
take a good few minutes to get out of it... I’m just worried if you
get caught short.”
“I won't.” I hoped.
I perched on my bed a
slid my stockinged feet into the dainty little shoes. I spared a
thought for Callum who recently revealed to me that he has to attend
a ballet class every Saturday morning. I hope Mummy doesn't have a
similar idea in mind for me. Mummy ties my ballet shoes for me, then
she sits me at my desk and combs my hair back off my face. Of course
it flops forward again. Mum pops to her room to fetch some product
and before I know it, my hair is slicked back off my face, held in
place with a narrow elastic hair-band plus several bobby pins
controlling the back and sides. All I'm lacking is a tightly packed
bun high on the back of my head... other than that, I'm a ballerina
from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. “Come on... don't
forget your book.” Mum said. I looked down at myself and gulped.
The tutu has got to be the single weirdest garment anyone could ever
wear. Apart from it being totally humiliating, what's the point of
it? I can't even let my arms hang freely because its broad weightless
frilly disc in the way.
A glanced at the five
ballerina pictures that have graced my bedroom wall since the day I
was petticoated. I've often wondered why she chose ballerinas rather
than say, princesses or some other girlie theme. I grabbed the ballet
book and followed my mother. My pancake tutu only just fit through my
bedroom door, and I had to feel for the top step because there's no
way I could see it. After cautiously descending the stairs, I was
greeted by an almost complete view of myself in the hallway mirror. I
clenched my eyes shut for a moment and continued walking.
In the lounge, Mum took
the book from me and removed the DVD from its envelope inside the
cover. I helped her move the coffee table to one side so there was
ample space in front of the TV, and Mum fetched a dining chair from
the kitchen and placed it by my side. “What's that for?” I asked.
“This is your
makeshift barre.” Mum said as she picked up the remote controls.
She told me to open My First Ballet Book to the page with the warm up
routines on. I placed it on the chair so I could refer the book, but
primarily I'd be following the video. Mum scrolled through the menu
to Novice Warm-up Routine and pressed play. The young presenter is
dressed almost identical to myself, only her tights are white.
“Hello!” she says in a joyous tone. “...and welcome to the
wonderful world of ballet.”
It was a cringe worthy
introduction. The presenter said that ballet offers a range of health
and well-being benefits such as improved balance, better flexibility
and agility. It also burns calories, sharpens cognitive function and
engages both hemispheres of the brain. “I don't even know what that
means.” I said.
“It means you'll be
smarter, brainier and healthier.” my mother claimed as she
positioned the nanny-cam on the mantle piece.
“Oh you''re not going
to record this are you Mummy?” I whined.
“Well I'll be
preparing supper so I need to know that you're actually doing
something and not just watching your DVD.” she replied.
“OK... lets get
started!” the DVD presenter enthused. I exhaled deeply through my
nostrils as she told me how to stand; feet slightly apart, arms in
'demi seconde' (my wrists hovering over the edge of my tutu).
“...reach up... and down.” she instructed, touching her toes.
“...it doesn't matter if you can't reach your toes yet, just do the
best you can, and remember to keep your legs straight.” The
furthest I could get was halfway down my shins. “Now straighten
your back and stretch your arms out to the sides; like a capital T.”
she said. “...and really stretch those arms out.” she encouraged.
“Down to your toes, then up to the sky. Down to your toes, then out
to the sides, then down... and up... and down... and out... ” after
five minutes of the repetitive routine, she moved onto the next warm
up routine. “OK... if you don't have a barre to rest on, the back
of dining chair is ideal.” she said. I spent the next few minutes
doing repeated tendues; kicking out my leg, making sure I'm pointing
my toes whilst tracing and arc and raising my free hand, twisting my
wrist and gesturing to my outstretched foot, before turning and doing
the same on my left side. After that was something called a plié,
which is like a squat, but harder, and finally I repeated the first
stretching routine. Twenty minutes had passed when the warm up lesson
ended. I felt flushed and panted a little. This is more exhausting
than I’d imagined.
“Now we're all warmed
up...” the enthusiastic presenter said. “...let's learn the five
basic positions!” I gulp and glance at the open book. The five
basic positions are shown on the page opposite the warm up routines
and I know that I’m going to look like an absolute ninny when I
perform them. It doesn't help that the cartoon pictures in the book
are clearly boys dressed as girls.
After ten minutes, I
pause the video and trotted through to the kitchen. “Mummy... I've
done half an hour.” I informed her.
“Well carry on until
the current lesson's finished.” she replied, before asking if I'm
enjoying it.
“Not really.” I
gulped. Mum told me to carry on regardless.
The repetitive five
positions went on for around half an hour. The grinning DVD presenter
said that it might seem boring to begin with, doing the same thing
over and over... but stressed the importance of getting it right.
“...the five positions are the building blocks of ballet and when
you've mastered those, you'll be doing the chassé,
sauté and pirouettes in
no time.” she said. “...until then, keep doing the basic warm up
routines followed by the five positions until your mummy, nanny or
teacher says you're good enough to try the next lesson.”
I trotted to the
kitchen again and told my mother that the lesson had finished. “Good
boy.” Mum smiled. “You certainly look like you've done a
workout.” she added. My cheeks felt as flushed as they looked and I
couldn't help but pant. She told me to return the DVD and ballet book
to my room, and to get on with my homework. She was busy chopping
vegetables and said she'd be up in a while to help me out of my tutu.
“Oh and don't forget your nanny-cam.” she said, reminding me to
put it on my shelf in my room where she can keep an eye on me.
It's a good job I've
only got a stool in my room, otherwise I'd never be able to sit at my
disk with my tutu on. After positioning the nanny-cam so it can see
both my bed and my desk, I grab my school bag and get my homework
books out, perch on my chair and try to concentrate on my studies.
After five or ten minutes, Mum comes and unfastens the numerous hook
and eye fastenings and releases me from the disc-like garment. I did
try to unfasten them myself but they were too small and too fiddly.
“Thanks Mummy.” I said as I stepped out of it. I felt unusually
skinny as I put my tutu back in its case.
“You may as well keep
your leotard on 'til bedtime.” she said.
“Really?” I gulped.
“Can I at least put some shorts and a T shirt over it?”
“There should be a
little chiffon skirt and a bolero in your ballet bag.” Mum replied,
suggesting I root through its various zipped pockets.
“What's a bolero?”
I asked.
“A little woolly
cardigan.” she replied. I found the bolero first. It's pink with
long sleeves but a really short body that doesn't even reach my
waist. I fastens with two long tapes that wrap around my torso and
ties in a bow at the back. Despite its unsavoury appearance, it does
feel nice and cosy. I root through the pockets for the skirt and find
several more pairs of dance tights in white and nude before finally
finding the flimsy little skirt. It has an elasticated waist so I
stepped into it and pulled it up. It's really short and see-through,
but given the choice I'd have rather worn this than my tutu.
“Supper's in fifteen minutes.” Mum said before leaving me alone.
As is the new norm, I
wore the pinafore apron Granny had given me whilst having supper. It
was a relief to be clad in white again, although the sleeves of my
pink bolero and tights were still visible. After helping with the
washing up, Mum unbuttoned my pinny and I returned to my room and my
homework. Part of me still can't quite believe what happened today. I
can't recall my mother even hinting that I'd be expected to do ballet
or wear a leotard and tutu... but I suppose she's been saving it as a
rainy day surprise. Lucky me. Not!
An hour or so later,
Mum came to my room and asked how I was getting on. “Almost
finished.” I replied. She told me that it's almost seven o'clock
and she'll start running my bath. “OK mummy.” I said. I packed up
my books some five minutes later and stripped down to my underwear.
After a fortnight of the same daily routine, my nappy drawer is
either half empty or half full, depending on how you look at it. I
remove one, grab a pair of rubbers and take them to the bathroom
where I strip fully and climb into my lukewarm bath. “Mummy?” I
asked as she conditions my hair. “Will I only have to do ballet
when it's raining?”
“Well that was the
idea.” mum replied. “But I was banking on it raining a bit more
often than it has in the last few weeks.” she added.
“I hope it doesn’t
rain again.” I grumbled. Mum chuckled and said she hopes it does.
She rinsed my hair and left me alone to wash the rest of myself.
Afterwards I sat on the loo before donning my nappy and brushing my
teeth. A pair of cotton over knickers and my girlie white pyjama top
lay waiting on my duvet, and Mum stood waiting with the hairdryer.
“Are you going to put it in rags again?” I asked.
“Would you like me
to?”
“Not really.” I
gulped. “Am I going to Granny's again tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yes but I'll be
taking you shopping first.”
“Why?!” I whined.
The last thing I want it to be paraded around town on a Saturday of
all days.
Mum gave me one of
those glares before reminding me that it's my birthday next weekend.
“...and you need a party dress.”
“But I don't want a
party!” I whimpered.
Mum smiled down on me
and told me that I'm not having a party, but I will be getting a
party dress. “Apparently there's some nice shops in Ashford.” she
added.
“That's miles away.”
“Would you rather we
find one here in Maidstone?” she asked. I knowingly asked if I'd
have to wear a dress because I'd rather wear my Sunday dress than my
pale blue car print one. “Well...” mum began. “...since it's
going to be a big step for you, I thought you might like to choose
something yourself.” she said. “Providing it's not your school
uniform.” she added, smiling.
“I'd rather wear my
Sunday dress than my blue one.” I said.
“But you'll be
wearing that on Sunday.” Mum replied. “How about your yellow
skirt and a T shirt?”
“Noo.” I cooed. Mum
suggested that I sleep on it, but added that we'll be setting off
early. She kissed me goodnight and turn out my light, before locking
my door behind her. Even with my curtains shut, it'll be a good
couple of hours before it's dark enough to even think about sleeping.
I lay in the pinky halflight and let my eyes flick around my room;
from the vanity mirror and hair clips on my desk, to the dolls and
nanny-cam on the top of my bookshelf. I sigh at my Disney Princess
DVD box set and wonder which film I'll be watching tomorrow evening,
before my eyes land on my big round tutu case that leans against the
wall beside my wardrobe. “I'm certainly not wearing that tomorrow!”
I quietly grumble to myself.
I think of all sorts of
things as I lay waiting for the light to fade; life before being
petticoated, life after being petticoated (if there is such a thing)
and life if everyone knew that I'd been petticoated. I was going to
ask Mummy if she'd let me have a netball hoop but it clean slipped my
mind when I was told I’d be doing ballet instead of playing outside
in the rain. I dont' know what was worse about my outfit... the
pancake tutu or the fact that it was pink. I recall Mummy's threat
and wonder if Mum could get special permission to send me to school
wearing the girl's uniform. The light fades and I soon drift into a
deep slumber... only to drift out of it as the sun begins to rise.
I'm wet and it's not the first time I've relieved myself in my
sleep... in fact over the last few days, that seems to be more
regular than waking up bursting. I turn my back to the window and
pull my duvet up so I can evade the early morning light. I pretend
that I’m sleepier than I am, and try not to think about how damp I
feel... eventually I drift back to sleep and wake when my mother
unlocks my door. “What time is it?” I yawn, adding a very drowsy
'mummy'.
“Just
gone seven.” Mum replied as she swept my curtains open. I clenched
my eyes shut as the room flooded with light, before slowly peeling
them open again. “Did you manage to stay dry tonight?” she asked.
“Noo.” I whined.
“Hmmm.” Mum
responded. “I think we might have to get you some better nappies.”
“But I don't need any
more Mummy... I've only got another week left and I’ve still got
loads of nappies.”
“You've got another
two weeks Gavin.” she informed me.
“But... this is my
third weekend and next weekend will be my fourth.”
“And the week after
that will be your fourth week.” Mum told me.
I'd got my counting all
muddled up and felt disappointed that I still had to endure two more
weeks of petticoating instead of one. “I'll still have enough
nappies though... my drawer's only half empty.” I informed my
mother.
“I know but they're
only cheap ones... if you're going to wet yourself every night you
need something more absorbent with a wicking fabric.” she said. I
didn't know what wicking meant so I asked. “It's a special type of
fabric that sucks any moisture through and stops it getting back...
so when you do wet yourself, you'll feel much dryer.” she informed
me, adding that they are quite expensive.
“Wouldn't it be
easier to just let me use the toilet.” I sarcastically suggested.
“Petticoated boys
don't use the toilet after bedtime Gavin.” my mother sternly
reminded me. “You know that.” she added. “And petticoated boys
don't take that tone with their mother's either.”
“Sorry... Mummy.” I
said, hanging my head.
“I hope so. Now...
have you decided what you'd like to wear today?”
“Errr....” I
hadn't, but I had a good idea what I didn't want to wear. This left
my culotte shorts, my dungaree shorts and my ditsy floral ra-ra skirt
(it's longer length is its only saving grace). Mum asked if I’d
rather wear a blouse or a T shirt... but since all my t shirts have a
Disney princess print on the front... “I'm not sure.” I replied.
“I think a blouse.”
Mum said. “This one.” she added, removing it from the wardrobe
and tossing on my bed alongside my ra-ra skirt. I didn't argue
because I’m not supposed to... but it was also the best of my three
blouses being the least fussy. It still has frilly trim and buttons
up the back but... “And I’m think of nude tights rather than
socks.” Mum said. “I'll fetch you pair of mine.” she said.
With my outfit decided,
I was finally allowed to change out of my wet nappy. It's always a
relief to get myself under a nice warm shower where I can wash off
the sticky nappy rash cream. Mummy says I’ve got to keep checking
for any signs of nappy rash and to let her know... but there's
nothing but clear, hairless skin. I have suggested that maybe I don't
need the nappy rash cream but mum assures me that the cream is the
only reason I don't have any nappy rash. It's also the reason I don't
have hair any more.
After a fortnight,
slinging on my training bra and fastening it is second nature. I pull
on a camisole before Mummy buttons me into my blouse. She loans me a
pair of her thin skin toned tights which I wear with my ditsy print
rara skirt. It's a cacophony of colour... flecks of pink, green, red
and blue on a black background. The primary reason for choosing that
particular skirt is its length, landing around the middle of my thigh
rather than high thigh. I don my black Mary Jane's and Mum brushed my
hair into a side parting and fixed it with tons of hair spray.
“Aren't you putting a slide in?” I asked.
“I don't think you
need one today.” Mum said, stating that it looks smart enough as it
is. She proceeded to coat my face in a thin layer of foundation. I
didn't protest, not even when she painted my lips in a matt pink
lipstick. “How's that?” she asked.
I turned to the mirror
and gulped. My side parted hair looks a little too boyish for
comfort, especially with no Alice band or slides... but coupled with
my very minimal make-up, I guess I could pass for a girl. I tell my
mother that it looks 'nice' and she smiles approvingly. “I'll fetch
you a handbag.” she said.
I rose from my perch
and looked down at myself. The thought of going to Ashford on a
Saturday dressed as a girl petrified me... but at least I'm not
dressed like a seven year old. Mum returned with a small black
handbag and passed it too me. It dangled loosely from my fingers and
for the first time since I'd been petticoated, I actually felt like a
teenager. “Thanks Mum... I mean... Mummy.” I said, feeling myself
blushing.
“You're welcome.”
she said. “Right... you need a clean pair of knickers and a nappy.”
she added.
“But why?” I
fearfully asked.
“To put in your
handbag.” she replied. “All petticoatees should carry a clean
pair of knickers and a clean nappy... just in case.” she
stated. “They also recommend that a nappy is worn for all long car
journeys... so consider yourself fortunate that I'm allowing you to
wear your knickers today.”
I wasn't at all happy
that I had to bring a nappy with me, but carrying one is better than
having to wear one. I went from feeling like a teenager to a toddler
again as I opened my nappy drawer and put one inside my handbag,
along with a pair of rubber knickers, over knickers and a pair of
normal knickers, all of which needed to be neatly folded rather than
stuffed inside. My mother also gave me a lace trimmed cotton
handkerchief to put in my handbag, which I hope I won't need... I can
just imagine quickly retrieving my handkerchief in the event of a
sudden sneeze, only to find I've grabbed my knickers instead!
It's
a thirty minute drive to Ashford. Mummy let me sit in the front
passenger seat, but I’d have rather sat in the back where the
windows are more tinted. Anyone can see me in the front... but it's
relatively early and we're headed for the motorway so the chances of
being spotted are slim. My knees felt unusually high thanks to my
heeled shoes. My light ditsy skirt covered half my lap, on which my
handbag rested. Mum must've noticed me staring at my knees. “They
look nice those tights don't they?” she said.
If I was honest I’d
have said they look weird. It's like I've got doll's legs; smooth,
flawless and synthetic. But I guess they do look nice too, in a weird
sort of way. “Yes.” I reply.
“Are you nervous?”
Mum asked.
I gulped. “A bit.”
I replied. “I'm glad we're not shopping in Maidstone.” I said.
“I thought you'd
prefer going somewhere different.” Mum replied. “Now you realise
that you're going to have to try some dresses on don't you.” she
added.
“Err... yes.” I
gulped. I hadn't actually... but Mum wasn't really asking me, she was
telling me. “Why do I need a party dress if I’m not having a
party?”
“Do you want a
party?”
“You know I don't.”
I meekly retorted. “I'm just wondering why I need a party dress.”
“It's just part of
petticoating Gavin.” she said. “Aren't you excited that you'll be
able to choose one that you like?”
“I don't like dresses
though Mummy.”
“You said you liked
your Sunday dress better than your play dress.” she reminded me.
“And if I recall correctly, you like your dresses more than your
skirts.”
“Only because my
skirts are really short.” I replied. “And just because I like my
Sunday dress more than my play dress doesn't mean I like my Sunday
dress... if it was up to me I wouldn't have any dresses at all.”
“I know... but it's
not up to you.” Mum reminded me. “Think about it this way...
you've got ten dresses to choose from and you've got to choose one;
there's pink and blue, brown and green and purple and yellow... which
would you choose?”
“I don't know... the
blue one I guess. It depends.” I replied. “I like my Sunday dress
because its plain. I like this skirt because it's not really short...
and this blouse isn't really frilly like my others.”
“See... there are
things you like when you think about it.”
“Hmmm.” I mused. I
knew she was twisting my words somewhat, but I also knew that I'd be
getting a new party dress whether I liked it or not and I've got
nothing to gain from arguing. I recalled Callum telling me that it's
only a matter of time before my first outing and considered the
prospect of telling him that he was right. I imagine him retorting
with a smug 'told you so', before enquiring further; What did I wear?
Where did I go? What did I do there?
“You're being very
quiet.” Mum commented after a while. “What are you thinking
about?”
“Just stuff.” I
grimly replied, nervously thumbing the edges of my handbag. Mum
didn't delve any deeper. I spent much of the remaining journey
wondering if there's such a thing as a dress that I actually like. I
made a mental check-list that included the following; not too short,
not too fussy or frilly, no bold prints, no yellow...
Eventually we pulled
off the motorway and my nerves began to increase. “Destination in
seven minutes.” the sat-nav said. “Turn right at next
roundabout.”
Soon we were driving
through the suburbs; large residential houses lined the broad busy
road. These gave way to large industrial units, office blocks and out
of town superstores... then the road is flanked with smaller retail
units. The sat-nav directs us around a one-way system, haphazardly
directing us toward a multi-story carpark which, only having two
stories seemed like an overstatement. “This school here...” Mum
said, pointing the building out as we turned off the one-way system.
“...was in the news a few years ago.”
“How come?”
“They banned the boys
from wearing long trousers and they all wear shorts instead.” she
said. “You know those culotte shorts you've got?”
“Yes.” I replied,
visualising my short box pleated shorts that do a good impression of
a skirt.
Mum took another left,
following the voice prompts from the sat-nav unit. “Those are the
sort of shorts they wear.” she told me.
“But they look just
like a skirt!” I gasped.
“They do... the
decided to bring the boy's uniform in line with the girls.”
“Why?” I asked as
we drove into the dark and dingy car park.
“Equality.” Mum
replied. I gulped and tried to imagine a school in which all the boys
wear culotte shorts instead of trousers. It must be freezing in
winter. Mum told me that they probably wear warm woolly tights in the
winter, before pulling into a vacant space and turning off the
engine. “You ready?” she asked.
I gulped and nodded.
Mum smiled and unfastened her seatbelt, before reaching over to the
back seat to grab her handbag. Unlike mine, hers has a shoulder
strap. I take a breath and open the door. My heel clacks loudly as it
hits the concrete surface. I stand and glance around before shutting
the door. Mum locks it, the alarm beeps, she steps around the car and
holds out her hand. “Come on... you've nothing to be afraid of.”
she said.
I took a breath and put
my hand in hers. My heels clicked and clacked, almost in unison with
my mothers as she led me to the exit. The gloomy carpark feels like a
sanctuary. I can see the broad daylight ahead, along with numerous
shoppers bustling this way and that. A small family group walks into
the carpark and passes right by us; mum, dad, teenage daughter and a
boy and girl of junior school age... non of them bat an eyelid in
spite of us exchanging glances. I gulp as we exit, squinting in the
daylight. “Will you let go of my hand please mummy” I quietly
asked.
Mum released her grip
on me “Sorry... was I squeezing?”
“A bit.” I gulped,
glancing nervously at the other shoppers. Any moment now one will
point and laugh at the sissy boy in his noisy heels... but no one
does. I find myself keeping my eye out for girls my age and
specifically girls wearing dresses. Most wear skinny jeans, leggings
or short denim shorts with thick black tights and plimsolls. Skirts
and dresses seem to be favoured more by adult women and little
girls... teenagers wearing them seem to be few and far between. Mum
asked if I needed the toilet. “No mummy.” I quietly replied,
fearful that someone might overhear the infantile manner in which I
address her. Then a thought crossed my mind... which toilet is a
petticoated boy supposed to use? I can't imagine using the gents
dressed like this, and doubt I'd be allowed to use the ladies. Maybe
that's why they recommend we wear a nappy for day trips? I glad I'm
not though.
We stroll around some
department stores and browse the girls sections. Even before Mummy
finally petticoated me, she always took me to browse the girl's
clothes so I could get used to all the different styles and fabrics.
I look longingly to the boys department... everything is plain,
sedate, safe. “These look nice.” Mum said, drawing us to halt by
a selection of satin dresses. They're all little girl's dresses and
far too small for me. “It's a pity the high street stores don't do
them in larger sizes.” mum commented.
I drew her attention to
some more grown up styles; a rugged dungaree dress, a casual grey
jersey dress, even a pinstriped shift dress looked better than the
infantile styles my mother favours. “I'd rather wear something a
teenager would wear.” I said. “And you did say I could choose.”
“Teenage clothes are
too grown up Gavin.” Mum said. I cringed when she used my name a
little too loudly for comfort. There must be half a dozen other
shoppers within earshot but none seemed to hear, so far as I could
tell anyway. “Come on... lets try somewhere else.” she said.
We exited the
department store and wove our way through the bustling outdoor
market. I was more worried about loosing my mother than being noticed
as a petticoated boy. “Where are we going?” I asked as we left
the crowded street stalls behind us.
“I'm looking for a
shop called Niñas y
Niños.”
“What does that
mean?”
“Boys
and girls... or girls and boys.” Mummy replied, adding that it's
Spanish. “...ah, that looks like it.” she said, gesturing toward
a store further down the narrow street. One half of the sign above
its windows is pink, the other blue and the colour scheme continues
inside, with the floor, walls and racking on one side in blue and the
other all in pink, suggesting separate girls and boys sections... the
only thing is, there's skirts and dresses, blouses and cute little
play-suits on both sides of this store.
“It's all girls
clothes!” I say as I cast my eyes around the boy's side of the
shop.
“Believe it or not
Gavin, they're all boy's clothes on this side of the shop.” she
said. After all I've been through recently, I did believe her. I
gulped at all the styles and colours, and gulped again when I noticed
the sizes on the hangers; boys age 7-8, boys age 9-10... all the way
up to age 14-15. As well as pastel coloured skirts, frocks and tops,
there's shoes, shorts, play-suits, handbags, hats, gloves and
umbrellas too. “These look nice.” Mum says, looking at display of
socks in all sorts of pastel colours. I gulped and bit my lip.
We're not alone in the
store... there's a couple of grown-ups and what I hope is a young
girl with long ringletted hair in the boy's half, and a couple more
parent/child groups in the girl's side. I look at the girl with the
ringlets. Oner of the grown ups I presume is her mother, and the
other the shop assistant. Mum's looking at the back packs and
handbags, which like many other items in this store are either candy
or pastel colours. All of sudden the girl squeals. Mum and I both
turn our heads to see a boy emerge from the changing room. “Oh
Andrew!” his mother gasps. “You look delightful!”
The boy doesn't look at
all happy and I can't blame him. He's wearing a pale green dress with
a kitten print going all around the skirt. Under his mothers
instruction, he turns to reveal a huge satin bow on the back. “This
is a nice bag.” my mother says, drawing my attention. “You
mustn't stare Gavin.” she quietly tells me. “Can you see anything
you like?” she asked.
“Not really.” I
replied, before asking if I have to choose something from here.
“No... there's a
couple more shops we can look in.” she replied, adding that she
wanted to continue browsing this one.
The assistant comes and
asks if we need any assistance. Mum tells her that we're just
browsing, before informing her that it's my birthday next week and
we're shopping for my party dress. “Oh lovely. And how old will you
be young man?” she asked me.
“Fourteen.” I
bashfully replied.
“Well we've got lots
of lovely things perfect for a boy your age.” she said. “Just let
me know if you want to try anything on.”
I could feel myself
blushing. “Yes... thank you.” I politely replied. She returned to
the counter. I cast my eyes around the store... pastel shorts with
lace around the legs, circle skirts with layers of visible netting,
voluminous dresses with kittens, cup cakes, cherries and all sorts of
other yucky stuff printed on their skirts. “Lots of lovely things
for a boy my age.” I thought. “Blimey!”
The mother and sister
are still gushing over the boy in the green kitten print dress. He's
about eleven I guess, and his sister about seven. I sheepishly follow
my mother and apathetically cast my eyes over everything that she
does. “This is cute.” Mum says, removing a girl's swimsuit from
the rail. It's turquoise with pink and purple fish printed on it and
the tiniest ruffled skirt stitched around its hip. The hanger clearly
states 'boys age 12-14'. I can just imagine going swimming in that!
As well as swimming costumes, there's tankinis, bikinis and beach
dresses too, all for boys!
Thankfully my mother
pays no more than a passing interest in the swimwear and saunters
along to the next section... underwear. All of my knickers, training
bras and cami-vests are white with elasticated lace trim. All of
these are über-cute in
pastel shades with cutesy prints, and far too many frills and bows.
Mum thinks they're nice but says she prefers plain white underwear
for me.
The next section is
nightwear and my mother wastes no time removing a little white
nightie with baby pink trim from the rail. “Oh now this is
adorable!” she gushed. I almost leapt backwards as she held it
against me. Only my trepidatious heels kept me rooted to the spot.
She only held it against me for a moment before holding it aloft and
thumbing its skirt, turning it to reveal a zip running up the back to
its collar.
I could tell she was
taken by it. “I've already got a nightie Mummy... and pyjamas.” I
timidly told her.
“I know but ideally
you need three.” she replied. “One to wear, one to wash and a
clean one in your drawer.”
Meanwhile, the boy
emerges from the changing rooms once more, this time dressed as a
normal boy. His mother takes his kitten print dress to the counter
and pays for it whilst his little sister tells him that she loves his
new dress. I overhear that he's in his final term of junior school
and the dress is for his school prom!
I try not to stare.
Mum's still thumbing the frills of the nightie, of which there were
many and most are trimmed with baby pink stitching. There's satin
bows too, and beneath its double layered skirt is a built in panty
with row upon row of ruffled lace just like my over-knickers, only
this lace is baby pink She held it against me once more. I gulped.
Its dress section barely covers my hips!
“I know we didn't
come shopping for a new nightie...” Mum told me. “...but I don't
think I can resist this.” she said, checking the price tag. Thirty
five pounds seems like an awful lot of money for a nightie, but my
mother seems more than happy to pay the price. As the card
transaction processed, Mum asked the assistant where the Mothercare
store is and listened intently to the series of left and right turns.
After a little more small talk, the assistant bid us farewell and
wished me a happy birthday for next week. I gulped and thanked her
and left the shop with my handbag hanging from the fingers of my left
hand, and a pink & blue boutique carrier bag hanging from my
right.
Outside, the boy and
his sister and mother are talking. “Andrew that's enough!” she
snapped. “You won't be the only boy wearing a dress.” she
insisted. Maybe times have changed since my junior prom but... none
of the boys wore dresses then, at least not to the prom.
We headed back toward
the busy street market but took a left through a snicket that led us
through a churchyard. “Ooops.” I said as I scraped my heel on the
uneven surface.
“You've got to be
cautious on old paving stones like these.” Mum said, before
suggesting we sit for a moment so I can take the weight off my feet.
We sat but I didn't feel like I needed to sit. “I must say Gavin
you're doing far better in those heels than I expected.” Mum told
me. “You've only really worn them twice and that's only been around
the house.”
“They're OK.” I
replied, looking at mine, then my mother's footwear. Her heels are a
good inch higher than mine and incredibly slender. I couldn't imagine
trying to walk in stilettos. I cast my eyes around the graveyard.
Dappled sunlight shone through the trees and the sound of the wind in
the leaves and birdsong filled my ears. “It's hard to believe
there's a busy high street just over there.” I said, enjoying the
solace.
“Yes.” Mum agreed.
“That boy looked lovely in his prom dress didn't he.” she added,
referring to the boy in Niñas
y Niños.
“He didn't look too
happy about it though.” I replied.
“He's probably just
got first time nerves.” Mum suggested. “You weren't too happy
when I put you in your first dress... but you soon got used to them.”
“I wouldn't say I'm
used to them Mummy.” I claimed.
“Well you're getting
used to them.” Mum retorted. “Right from the beginning you've
been smoothing your skirts before you sit and sitting with your knees
together.” she told me, adding how I always make sure my frock or
skirt is arranged neatly on my lap. As far as I was concerned those
things were obvious... I barely gave them a thought. Mum went on to
tell me that she was in two minds when we bought my footwear. “I'd
have put you in a low heel to start with but you've taken to those
like a duck to water.” she said.
“Mine don't look so
high next to yours.” I replied, comparing my chunky heels with her
stilettos. “I doubt I’d manage in those.”
“Well I've had years
of practice.” Mummy replied. “Plus I don't think stilettos are
really suitable for children your age.”
“Too grown up?” I
guessed.
“Exactly.” Mum
agreed. “Come on.” she said, grabbing her bag and standing. I
stood and we strolled to the far side of the churchyard, along a
cobbled street and onto another busy shopping street. Mum paused on
the corner, probably to recall the series of left/right directions
she'd been given. “Ah... there's the other church... past that and
there should be a shopping centre on the right.” she said.
“Where are we going?”
I asked.
“Mothercare.” Mum
replied. “...to get you some new nappies that won't feel quite so
soggy in the mornings.” she added. “Then we'll find something to
eat.” she said, asking if I was hungry.
“A bit.” I replied.
“Mummy.” I said a few moments later. “I'll be OK with the
nappies I’ve got for a couple more weeks.” I said. “Even my
cheap ones were quite expensive and I don't really need any
new ones..” I added.
“Well that's very
thoughtful Gavin. They certainly aren't cheap.” Mum replied. I
wasn't really thinking of the cost... I was just hoping to avoid
another humiliating experience in Mothercare.
Fifty
yards later we saw the large Debenhams store and the modest shopping
centre that conjoins it. It boasts all the major high street stores;
Next, John Lewis,New Look, River Island, Top Shop and Top Man... and
Mothercare. Like our local store, the Petticare section is tucked
away at the back and Mummy wasted no time finding a member of staff
to assist us. “Which ones are you currently wearing love?” the
assistant asked me.
“Err... I'm not
sure.” I bashfully said. I hope she doesn't think I’m wearing one
now! Adding to my embarrassment, Mummy reminded me that I had one in
my handbag, and there in the back of the store, in front of a handful
of other shoppers, I had to open my bag and remove the nappy. The
assistant took it from my trembling hand.
“Ah yes...” the
assistant said. “...our economy range.” She handed the vacuum
packed nappy back to me and explained the various types to my mother
as I put the nappy back in my handbag. My cheeks must have been
crimson. I couldn't help but glance around nervously, but made damn
sure that I didn't make eye contact with anyone else. Mummy discussed
my 'needs' with the assistant, told her that I'm regularly wet and
said that I'm already using a depilatory nappy rash cream. The
assistant explained that non-wicking nappies aren't really
recommended for 'everyday' use. They're fine if they get changed
within an hour or two... but for all day or over night, she highly
recommends a wicking type. The assistant turned to me and asked if I
was having any problems with nappy rash.
“Err... no.” I
meekly replied.
“He's very careful on
that front aren't you Gavin.” Mum said.
“Yes... Mummy.” I
timidly replied. This is worse than the last time we were in
Mothercare! Mummy couldn't decide whether to buy me a pack of
fourteen disposable wicking nappies, or a pack of three washable
wicking nappies. The cost was comparable and Mummy asked my opinion.
Despite the fact that I'm almost fourteen and don't even need any
nappies, I made a decision based on the prospect of having to carry
them around a busy town centre on a Saturday afternoon. The pack of
washable nappies would easily fit into a carrier bag and the bumper
pack of fourteen disposable nappies wouldn't. I suggested the
washable ones and Mum agreed.
“We have a fitting
room if you'd like us to put him in one now.” the assistant said as
my mother paid.
“Oh er.... no.” Mum
smiled. “That won't be necessary.” she added, glancing at me.
Phew! I thought... but
then I felt myself blushing because the assistant probably thinks I'm
already wearing a nappy. At that moment a boy about my age emerged
from the fitting room. His wrist wiped his eye. He's clearly been
crying. Behind him I presumed is his mother; a stern looking middle
aged lady who bluntly thanked the assistant as she marched the boy
out. He's wearing normal boy's clothing, but the all too familiar
bulbous bulk of a nappy is obvious. “Don't stare Gavin.” Mum
quietly said.
I averted my eyes and
glanced at the assistant. “It'll be his first one.” she said to
me.
“He'll soon get used
to them.” my mother replied.
That's easy for her to
say... she doesn't have to wear them! After my initial bout of nerves
when we exited the car park, I'd been feeling quite relaxed on my
first day out... up until we visited Mothercare that is. I've never
been so embarrassed in my whole life and was glad to get out of
there.
“Shall we find a nice
little back street café or would you prefer Burger King or
something?” Mummy asked.
We just happened to be
approaching the Burger King and it was far too busy for comfort. Kids
my age gravitate to such places and dressed at I am, I'd rather avoid
kids my own age. By the time we'd found somewhere that wasn't really
busy, I was absolutely ravenous. We took a table and the waitress
took our order, but Mummy wouldn't let me have anything that might
drip on my blouse or get my fingers greasy... so it was a plain
cheese and onion sandwich with neither butter nor mayonnaise for me
whilst Mummy had a baked potato with cheese and coleslaw. “You must
be one of the Academy boys.” the waitress said when she fetched our
meals.
“Erm... no.” I
replied. Mummy told her that we're only here for the day.
“Shopping?”
“Yes.” I replied.
“It's Gavin's
birthday next week so we're looking for a new party dress.”
“Well you've come to
the right place... we've got quite a few shops catering for boys like
you.” the waitress said.
“So I understand”.
Mummy replied. I was half expecting Mummy to tell her that I've just
got some new nappies, and add that I’m a regular bed wetter or
reveal some other detail to a complete stranger for no other reason
than to embarrass me... but she didn't.
Mummy asked how my
sandwich was. “Good thank you.” I said, but in truth it was
really quite bland. I'd completely forgotten that I was wearing
lipstick until I noticed it imprinted on the bread.
“Wasn't there
anything that caught your eye in Niñas
y Niños?” Mummy asked.
“Not really... all
the colours were too...” I wasn't sure how to describe them, but
they reminded me of sweets. “...sugary.” I added.
“Yes they were a
bit.” Mummy smiled. “Not cheap either.” she added.
After
our elevenses (Mummy said it was too early to be called lunch), we
headed for another store called Beau Boys... it's name suggested all
I needed to know. At a glance it looked like a trendy street style
store with the shop name painted in a bold yet hard to read graffiti
font. “It's called Belle-Boiz Mummy.” I said having unravelled
the funky serifs.
“So it is.” Mummy
replied as we approached. The shop doesn't have a large frontage with
only room for two mannequins in the window. One displays an overcoat
in Royal Blue and the other displays a sailor style dress in navy
blue. There's other items displayed such as bags, shoes and hats, but
I only had a passing glance as we entered the store. Like the
previous shop, it's full of prissy frocks, skirts, tops and
accessories, but the overall palette is a lot more appealing. Of
course there's a significant amount of pink, lilac, baby blue and
lemon yellow, but also darker shades of blue, purple, green and
brown.
It's not a big store by
any means but every scrap of wall-space is packed with rails and
shelves. We're also the only people in there, apart from the staff of
course. The proprietor greets us and offers assistance. Mummy tells
her that we're looking for a party dress for me, before saying that
the nautical frock in the window caught her eye. The proprietor
wasted no time in finding the dress on the packed rails. “This
one.” she said, removing one and holding it aloft. “It's not what
I'd call a party dress but it is very nice.”
Mum agreed and asked if
I’d like to try it. One thing I've learned in recent weeks is that
some questions are really instructions, and I suspected this wasn't a
question. “Err... yes.... please.” I awkwardly replied, gulping
and adding “Mummy.”
She accompanied me to
the cramped changing room and unbuttoned my blouse for me. I stepped
out of my skirt and glanced at my reflection. My white knickers are
clearly visible through my nude coloured tights, and I can just about
make out my training bra through my lace trimmed camisole top. Mummy
held the dress up and I pushed my arm through its sleeves and let it
drop around me. Unlike all the others I've worn, this has a zip on
one side running from hip to armpit rather than buttons up the back.
It has white trim around its big square collar which terminates with
a satin bow at its V neck. Behind this is a fabric panel giving the
impression of a top beneath. Like my other frocks it's not too short,
landing an inch or two above my knees and as far as dresses are
concerned, it's not too bad. I'm a bag of nerves as Mummy leads me
back into the shop where there's a big mirror so I can see myself
property. Mummy used words such as classic and timeless to describe
it. The proprietor agreed and claimed that it's one of the more
popular styles amongst the boys. Although Mummy loved it, she was in
two minds because it's not really a party dress. “Well continue
browsing by all means.” the proprietor said, before suggesting a
couple of options.
“Oh now that's a
party dress!” my mother said as the proprietor held aloft a cream
floral frock with a voluminous skirt and a broad burgundy satin sash
around the waist, tied in a huge bow at the back.
Mummy asked my opinion
and I said it was too flowery. She next suggestion was a similar
style but in a leaf green colour with a broad white sash. The colour
looked OK, but the style and in particular the satin sash put me off
a little. Mummy told me that the style, and in particular the satin
sash and big bow on the back is a party dress. “Maybe a blue
one? You look nice in blue.” she said.
“I might have just
the thing.” the proprietor said, digging out a pale blue frock with
a little too much lacy trim for my liking. “It's got the nautical
collar and I’ve got a range of sashes... I'll happily throw one
in.” she said.
Mum loved it and wanted
to see how it looked. Five minutes later I'm stood in front of the
big mirror whilst the proprietor ties a broad white sash around my
waist. Mum listens intently as she explains how to tie the perfect
'dress' bow, which involves a peculiar knot that won't come undone by
pulling in the tails. Mum wanted to tie the bow herself and had a few
attempts at tying the unfamiliar knot. Meanwhile I'm stood staring at
myself and wishing we could head home sooner rather than later. Once
Mummy was happy with my sash, she turned me this way and that so I
could see how it looked from the back. It'd look as lot better
without the big flouncy bow or all the lacy trim, but it's certainly
not the worst dress I've seen today. “I liked the other one best
Mummy.” I said. I didn't actually want the other one, but if this
humiliating shopping trip is going to end sooner rather than later,
I'd best decide on a dress sooner rather than later... and given a
choice between this one and that one, I’d rather have that one.
“So did I.” Mummy
replied, raising my hopes. “But that's not a party dress and this
one is.” she said.
I gulped and weighed up
my options... more shops and more frocks to try, or saying yes to
this dress. “OK.” I bashfully said.
“You sure?” Mummy
asked. I nodded. Mum smiled. I gulped.
Mummy buttoned me back
into my blouse whilst the proprietor packed my dress... not in a bag
but a box. The dress cost twenty pounds and sash was free, saving her
a fiver. “What a nice shop.” Mummy said after we left. “And
affordable too.” she added.
“Can we go home now
Mummy?” I asked.
Mum checked her
wristwatch. “Well there's still a couple more shops I’d like to
have a look at.” she said, listing one called Teen Zone and a
charity shop.
“But I've got my
dress now.” I said.
“There's no harm in
browsing, and we've still got at least an hour on the parking
ticket.” she said.
Teen
Zone claims to sell unisex fashions for tweens and teens, but inside
there's nothing but girl's clothes. The styles are far more sedate
than those in Niñas y
Niños and Belle-Boiz.
There's short skater skirts, little netted kilts, T shirts with punky
prints, distressed denim shorts, neon leggings, pinstriped pedal
pushers, patterned tights and so on. Mummy made a beeline for the
back of the store where the frocks and dresses hung. I followed. My
heels clacked loudly on the marble floor, causing the handful of
other shoppers to glance in my direction. “I like this style.”
Mummy said, pointing out a collection of both plain and plaid frocks
with white rounded collars. They're the sort of thing I'd expect a
college girl to wear, or maybe a receptionist. There's denim dungaree
dresses and some corduroy pinafores which to my boyish eye seem quite
palatable. “Not really party dresses though.” Mummy commented.
“I've already got my
party dress Mummy.” I quietly reminded her.
“Yes.” she smiled.
“I was just wanting to b a browse really.” she said. We did
browse for a few minutes... well, Mummy did. I was hoping that having
chosen my party dress that we'd have headed straight back to the
car... but no. I sheepishly followed as Mummy looked at hats and
gloves and bags and scarves. Then she returned to the hats and said I
could do with one when I’m playing out in the sun. “Too expensive
though.” she said after checking a few prices and baulking at their
fifteen and twenty pound price tags. Around the counter area is a
display of nail varnishes, lip balms, hair clips and Alice bands.
Mummy has a good look at the hair accessories. “This is cute.”
she says, showing me a hair clip that's like a big wooden button.
Why would anyone wear a
button in their hair? I wondered. A bow, flower or even a butterfly I
can understand but a button seems bizarre. Many of the hair
accessories would look more at home stuck to a fridge door rather
than worn in someone's hair. There's pieces of fruit such as
strawberries, cherries, bananas and even a slice of watermelon.
There's a teddy face, a tea pot, hot air balloon, a car, a tractor
and a wooden train. A kitten, a frog, an owl, a bird and a bat.
Actually I quite liked the bat. Then Mummy draws my attention to one
shaped like a doggy bone, a cupcake, even an ice cream cone. “You're
more than welcome to try them.” the girl behind the counter said,
twisting a counter top 'hello kitty' mirror around to face us.
“How much are they?”
Mummy asked.
“The small ones are
two pounds each or three for five pounds.” the girl said. “The
large ones are four pounds each or three for ten.” the girl said.
I was hoping that
they'd be too expensive but Mummy felt the price was quite
reasonable, and proceeded to choose some for me. I wouldn't mind but
she tried seven or eight different ones in my hair before deciding on
the big wooden button, the VW car and a cupcake, stating that the
car clip would be perfect with my play dress. I could feel myself
blush as a wry smile swept the assistant's face. “You're not one of
the Academy boys I take it?” she asked me. I gulped and shook my
head. Mummy proudly told her that I'm a petticoatee which made me
blush even more. “Oh how nice... that's ten pounds please.” she
said.
Mummy dug a ten pound
note from her purse as the girl put the hair clips into a bag. I
reached for the one in my hair, but Mummy said that I should keep it
in. “It's nice.” she added. The assistant agreed. I left the
store with the big wooden button clipped to the side of my head.
“Are there any more
shops Mummy?” I mournfully asked as we sauntered along the
pavement.
“Not really.” Mummy
replied. “We've got what we came for.” she said. “...and a few
extra bits and bobs.” she added. We began to make our way back to
the carpark, although the route took us in and out of various shops
including a cake shop, a housewares shop and a charity shop.
It's
a typical charity shop, with rails of clothes, shelves of books and
brick-a-brack and boxes of shoes. There's a couple of volunteers
chatting behind the counter who acknowledge us as we enter. The scent
of musty old stuff fills my nostrils as I sheepishly follow my mother
who silently browses the rails... briefly looking at a selection of
school wear. Mummy removes a grey school pinafore. “Something like
this might be good for the garden.” she said, describing it as
comfortable, hard wearing and something she won't mind getting dirty.
“Far too small though.” the said after holding it against me. Of
course it's too small, I think, it's a girls junior school uniform!
She browses the casual
clothes; skirts, t-shirts, frocks and tops. Typically for a charity
shop, the clothes are arranged by colour rather than size and Mummy
made sure that she had a look at everything. Eventually my mother
found a rust coloured corduroy skirt and coupled it with a brown
plaid shirt that had previously caught her eye. Mummy said they'd be
perfect for the garden and held both against me to check the size.
“Do I have to try them on?” I timidly asked.
“The blouse will
certainly fit.” she said, checking the culottes a second time.
“They'll be fine.” she added, pointing out the elasticated
section on the back of the waist.
We approached the
counter and Mummy greeted the volunteers. “You must be one of the
Academy boys.” one of them said to me.
“Err... no.” I
meekly replied.
“Gavin's a
petticoatee.” Mummy told them, adding that we're just here for the
day, shopping for my party dress because it's my birthday next week.
“Oh how nice.” the
volunteer said before turning her eyes on the items. “These are
lovely.” she commented as she tapped the prices into the till;
three pounds for the skirt and five for the blouse.
“They're nice enough
for helping in the garden.” Mummy replied. “Oh that reminds me...
you could do with a hat Gavin.” she remembered, casting her eyes
around the store.
The volunteer pointed
out some formal hats and fascinators displayed with the handbags,
plus a box containing baseball caps, beanies and bobble hats. “Oh...
actually.” the volunteer announced, stepping around the counter and
heading for the stand full of second hand school wear. “There's
these from the girl's grammar school.” she said, holding a felt hat
in one hand and straw hat in the other.
“The straw one looks
ideal.” Mum said, taking it from the volunteer and plonking it on
my head. I looked up at its brim and gulped. Mum smiled and removed
it. “Just what you need.” she said, placing it on the counter.
I really should protest
but for all I know, I might have already got a fair few days added on
to the end of my four week trial. There's been times that I know I've
forgotten to say 'mummy' and times when I've moaned or complained
about the things I’ve been expected to do and wear. I gulped and
glared at the hat with its ribbon and bow. I hated it but after
recalling the horrendous hats and bonnets in the Niñas
y Niños shop with their
lace, frills and pastel colours that gave me the chills... I've got
off lightly with a simple straw boater. The volunteer put it in the
bag with my skirt and blouse. Mum handed her the cash and said we'd
best be getting going before she spends any more money.
I breathed a huge sigh
of relief as we finally headed to the car park. Our heels echoed as
we crossed the dimly lit space. In one hand I’m carrying the large
Niñas y Niños bag that contains my new nightie and my new nappies,
tucked under my other arm is the box that hold my party dress and
dangling from my fingers is my handbag, with my spare knickers, nappy
and a hanky inside. Mummy carries the charity shop bag and other
items. We pack the bags in the boot and I ask if I can sit in the
back where I can hide behind the tinted windows. “Thanks Mummy.”
I chirp when she says yes.
It feels good to be
headed back home again... but Mummy spoils my optimism by asking if
I'm looking forward to trying my new nappies. “Not really Mummy.”
I meekly reply, adding that I never look forward to bedtime. I stare
out of the window and try not to think about them. I'm going to have
to tell Callum that he was right and mummy did take me on an outing.
I wonder if he's been to Ashford's trio of peculiar shops. I wonder
if he knows about the school where the boys all wear culottes. I
might have to tell him about my party dress, but I’ll mention
nothing of my new nappies.
I recalled the boy in
Niñas y Niños
and his kitten print party dress. I can empathise with him and hope
he's not the only boy who's being pestered into wearing a dress for
the school prom. I also recalled my own junior prom in the final week
of Year 6. It was four years ago but I remember it well. We lurked in
small, distinct groups; boys in shirts and trousers and ties, the
girls in their dresses, giggling and swinging their handbags.
Everyone was too shy to dance to begin with and I ended up dancing
with Meredith Brown, a stocky and bossy girl from farming stock. I
didn't want to dance but I was too scared of her to say no. My
friends laughed at me and the embarrassment lasted for days. I
imagined the scene but put myself in a party dress... everyone
is laughing at me as I imagined having to dance with Meredith.
“You're being very quiet.” Mummy said. “What are you thinking
about?”
“Nothing... just
looking out the window.” I replied.
“I do like that
button in your hair.” she said, looking at my via the rear view
mirror. I raised my fingers to it and even after such a short time,
I've already become accustomed to its presence. I guess I’m just
used to having things in my hair... but this button is comparatively
large compared to my bows and slides. Mummy said that it's perfect
for a boy because a simple button is neither boyish nor girlie. The
same could be said for my big cupcake clip, she reckoned, before
claiming that the hair clip with the wooden car is definitely boyish.
I hate it when Mummy talks like that... my car print play dress is
supposedly boyish, and she described my baby blue shorts as 'boyish'
when they're clearly girl's shorts. Even my jelly shoes are boyish
according to Mummy and now she's claiming that my new hair clips are
boyish too!
When
we arrive at Granny's house, Mummy wastes no time drawing her
attention to the clip in my hair. Granny isn't overly impressed, but
she does say that it's a bit more boyish then a bow. Part of me
wanted to scream 'there's nothing about me that's boyish!'...
but I knew that wouldn't go down well. “Do I detect a touch of
make-up?” my grandmother said as I sat in her lounge.
“Erm... yes.” I
replied. “Mummy did it.” I added, just in case she was thinking
I’d applied it myself.
“We've been shopping
to Ashford.” Mummy chirped.
“Dressed like that.”
Granny gasped.
“He's got to go out
sooner or later Mum.” my mother told her. “It wouldn't be fair to
them cooped up indoors all the time.” she added.
“Well I suppose.”
Granny sighed. “At least he's not dressed like a seven year old.”
she added, looking me up and down. Mummy told her that I'd chosen the
skirt myself and Granny asked me to stand so she could have a proper
look. “Those tights look a bit big.” she said. “They're going
baggy at the knees.”
“They're mine.”
Mummy said as I looked down at myself... my thin nude tights are
indeed wrinkled at the knees.
“You don't see many
button back blouses these days.” Granny commented, before saying it
was nice. At least she didn't say 'boyish'!
After a natter with
granny and cup of tea, Mummy left me with Granny whilst she did the
grocery shopping. “Have you finished your sampler yet?” Granny
asked.
“No.” I replied. “I
forgot to bring it.” I added.
“Well we'll just have
to think of something else to do.” she smiled.
A short silence passed
before she asked how my week had been. “I had to do ballet
yesterday.” I grumbled, recalling the horror of the pink leotard
and pancake tutu. Granny asked if it was for my active playtime and I
nodded. She asked if I enjoyed it. “Not really... but the day
before Mummy had me skipping round the garden where all the
neighbours can see... at least I was indoors 'coz it was raining.”
I moaned.
“Because.” Granny
corrected. “Petticoated boys are supposed to speak correctly
remember.”
“Sorry.” I meekly
peeped. “Granny?” I asked.
“Yes Gavin?”
“Do you think it's
right that Mummy's petticoated me?” I asked. “Sometimes I get the
feeling that you don't approve and sometimes it feels like you do.”
“Well I am in two
minds about it. Your mother and I discussed it at length when she was
considering petticoating you and there were some aspects that I
wasn't too keen on.” she said, claiming that I was supposed to be
in nappies both day and night for at least the first week. “...but
I didn't think that was fair so she agreed to bedtime nappies only,
providing you behaved yourself.” Granny explained. “My other
reservation was the fact that you're already a good boy and I'm not
sure what good it's supposed to do you.” she said, before adding
that petticoating certainly won't do me any harm. “I only wish more
boys were petticoated, then you wouldn't feel quite so alone.” she
added.
“There's a boy in my
class who's petticoated too.” I informed her. “And my friend
Jason has a cousin called Peter who's a petticoatee.”
“I see.” Granny
replied. “Well that's something I suppose.” she said. I told her
about the homework group that I attend instead of PE and said there
were likely to be a few others too. “So you're not the only
petticoatee in school.” she mused. I shook my head and Granny said
that makes her feel better. “Are you looking forward to your
birthday next week?” she asked.
“Not really.” I
groaned. “Mummy bought me a party dress today and I'm worried she's
planning a surprise party for me.” I said.
“Well I can assure
you that there's no party being planned.” Granny replied.
“So why do I need a
party dress?”
“A party dress is
just a nice dress Gavin, there doesn't need to be a party to go...
just as you don't have to wait until Sunday to wear a Sunday dress.”
“I do.” I mumbled.
Granny cast me an
empathetic smile. “Mummy tells me you've been learning do a running
skip.” she said after a short silence. I nodded and said that I
can't do it properly. “There should be a skipping rope in the
shed.” she said, suggesting I practise for a while.
“Do I have to
Granny?” I moaned.
“Well it's better
than sitting around doing nothing.” she said.
“I won't be able to
skip in these shoes though.” I said, twisting my foot to show her
my high heeled shoes.
“They'll be fine.”
Granny said, stating that it's only a two-and-a-half inch heel and a
blocky one at that. “Come on... I might even have a go myself.”
she said.
Granny's house is on
the edge of suburbia and her back garden isn't overlooked by anyone,
so I wasn't worried about leaving the confines of the house... I was
more than a little concerned about trying to skip in heels though.
They clicked and clacked all the way down the path, at the end of
which is granny's shed. She soon found a skipping rope and handed it
to me. I reiterated that I might not be able to do it in my heeled
shoes. “Well there's no harm in trying.” she said. I assumed the
position with the rope hung at the back of my ankles, took a deep
breath and swung the rope over my head... one petticoat two petticoat
three petticoat four. I didn't count the rhyme out loud. Instead I
muttered under my breath but I quickly discovered that I can skip in
my heels. “I knew you could.” Granny clapped. “Let's see if
still can.”
I was more nervous for
Granny than I was for myself. She's in her late fifties and I fear
she might break a hip. Old people tend to do that, I've heard. She
assumed the starting position and swung the rope. “Eeny meeny miny
moe, catch a boy by the toe, pull his hair then let him go, eeny
meeny miny moe.” She stopped when her rhyme ended and chuckled. “Oh
that takes me right back to junior school.” she said.
“I've never heard
that rhyme before Granny.” I said.
“It's one of many we
made up when we were little... we used to add all sort of verses.”
she reminisced. “Eeny meeny miny moe, ride a pony through the snow,
turn around it's time for home, eeny meeny miny moe.”
“Granny that's
brilliant!” I exclaimed. She ran forward four paces through the
second line, turned around in the third and ran back for the
fourth... and like me she's wearing heels!
“Why don't you try?”
she said. “I'm all out of puff.” she added.
I took the rope and
prepared to begin. “Eeny meeny minie moe...” I skipped on the
spot. “..ride a pony... oh.” I missed the second skip and
stopped. I assumed the starting position once more. “Eeny meeny
miny oh...” I missed again.
“Keep trying.”
Granny said. “I'll fetch some juice.”
I know it's hard to
believe that a boy of almost fourteen is seemingly willing to skip
around the garden, or at least try to. I know how 'wrong' it must
seem. It certainly feels wrong, especially at first. I guess it's the
effects of a few minutes of cardiovascular exercise; adrenalin and
serotonin level increase and one is naturally inclined to carry on...
then it's easy to put any thoughts of how silly I must look to the
back of my mind and I can focus in trying to skip in time. I recited
Granny's rhyme over and over. I even managed to skip forward through
the second line more often than not, but couldn't quite get the hang
of the one-hundred and eighty degree turn... so just carried on until
I ran out of lawn, stopped, turned and skipped all the way back. I
know it's hard to believe that a boy of almost fourteen years would
feel proud of such an achievement, but he did.
“Well done Gavin!”
my grandmother exclaimed when she returned. “In heels too!” she
gushed. “You'll have to show mummy when she gets back.” she
suggested.
It's weird when granny
refers to my mother as 'mummy'... normally it's just 'your mother'.
She seldom uses 'mum', but recently I've noticed, it's mummy more
often than not. I've even begun thinking 'mummy' and know I’ve
slipped up a couple of times at school. I note that Callum has too.
“I wonder if he can skip around the garden?” I think. Not that
I'm going to ask him, or admit to doing it myself. “Granny do you
know a game called 'two-balls'?” I asked, describing it as best I
could.
“Oh yes.” she said.
“All the girls played it when I was little.”
“Can you teach me?”
I asked.
“Erm... well... I
suppose.” she replied, clearly bemused by my request. “We'd need
two tennis balls though, which I know I haven't got.”
“Does Mummy know how
to play it?
“Oh I doubt it. When
your mother was that age it was all playstation and nintendo.”
Granny replied. “Traditional games died a death when video games
came along... and child obesity sky rocketed.” she added. “I'm
surprised you've even heard of two-balls.”
I timidly explained
that my friend Jason was telling me that his cousin Peter also does
active play and as well as hopscotch and skipping, he plays two-balls
and has a netball hoop. I then explained how I don't like having to
skip around my own back garden because all the neighbours can see me,
but I could play two-balls and netball no the patio, where they can't
see me. Granny said she understood and would see what she could do.
It's been fifty years since she's played two-ball so will have see if
she can still remember the rhymes and routines. “It's quite
complicated you know.” she warned. “You need speed, good
coordination, an eagle eye, balance, rhythm...” she listed, hinting
that it might be above me.
“Well... if a girl
can do it.” I said.
“True.” Granny
chirped.
“There you are!”
Mum hollered from the back door. “I've been all over the house.”
she claimed as she approached. Granny said I had something to show
her and prompted me to skip down the garden. Reluctantly I stepped
back a few paces, slung the rope so it hung behind my ankles,
recalled the rhyme, took a breath and swung the rope. Mummy applauded
when I reached the end of the lawn. I felt bashful, proud and
embarrassed when I skipped back. My cheeks must have been crimson and
I couldn't help but grin... although I prefer to believe that I was
trying to grit my teeth. “I knew you'd get it eventually.” Mummy
said.
We didn't
stay long after Mummy returned because there's groceries that need to
be in the fridge. I had to make several nerve racking trips from the
car to the house to unload all the shopping. Each time I checked the
coast was clear before trotting out and trotting back; click clack
click clack, thrice there and back.
After supper, Mummy
unpacked all my new things. She gushed over my baby blue party dress
before hanging over a dining chair. The rooted through the charity
bag and plonked the hat on my head. I tilted it back a peered
bashfully up at its brim. Mummy smiled sweetly at me before pulling
out the skirt and shirt she'd also bought. “Shall we try these on?”
she suggested. I nodded. She exited the kitchen. I followed. “You
may as well bring your new nappies up.” she said. I stopped and
cringed and turned and sighed and grabbed them.
Mummy unbuttoned my
blouse for me and I stepped out of my little ditsy rara skirt. “Those
tights have gone baggy haven't they.” Mum commented, before
suggesting I take them off. I stepped into the brown corduroy skirt
which unlike all my other skirts (and shorts) actually fastens at the
front. Apart from my school shirts and T shirts, Mummy buttons me
into everything... buttoning myself into my new (to me) blouse felt
almost liberating, even if it was really fiddly because the buttons
were on the wrong side. My mother looked me up and down and turned
her nose up a little. “It's not very nice but it'll do for helping
in the garden.” she said before grabbing me a pair of knee socks.
Mummy unpacked my new
nappies as I rolled my socks up my legs. The pelerine pattern
stretched around my calves and I spent a moment making sure they were
straight and even. Mummy might not think my outfit is very nice but
compared to everything else I've worn of late, I quite like it. The
brown plaid blouse is neither prissy not pretty, although it does
have a bib detail with frilly trim. Its long sleeves have relatively
long cuffs and a slight bell, but other than that it looks and feels
more like a shirt than a blouse. “Here.” my mother said, handing
me the three thick washable nappies. “Put them in your drawer.”
she added. Unlike the nappies I’m used to, these have a soft
towelling fabric and six plastic press-studs; three on each front
side. Mummy suggested I leave one on my pillow ready for bath time
and prompted me to choose one. There's no way I'd have chosen the
baby pink one despite the embroidered bunny rabbit being the least
worst of the three designs. The others feature a butterfly and a
flower on the front and I opted for the white one with the flower,
putting the baby blue and pink nappies in my drawer.
I lingered for a moment
in front of the hallway mirror and frown a little at what I see. I'm
reminded of the plain Jane's and daggy girls who never seem the wear
anything fashionable; the sort the other trendier girls giggle and
snigger at. I’m dressed like on those girls but it doesn't really
bother me. I think this might be my favourite outfit so far.
I spent half an hour or
so doing my cross-stitch sampler whilst Mummy made supper. She
buttoned me into my pinny and I laid the table, then helped clean and
tidy the kitchen afterwards. Once everything was done, I turned to my
mother and politely said “Will you unbutton me please Mummy?”
She smiled and I turned
my back to her. “I do love our little routines.” she said as she
undid the two buttons between my shoulders. “Which of your DVDs
shall we watch tonight?” she asked.
“Erm... I don't
know.” I replied, trying to recall all the titles. “Mulan?” I
suggested.
The film hadn't ended
by 7.00pm but I was really enjoying it. I asked Mummy if she'd delay
my bath, it being Saturday and all... but she said no, but offered a
compromise. “You can watch the end after your bath.”
As is my routine, I
fetched my nappy and put it on the cistern before getting into my
lukewarm bubble bath. Mummy washed my hair. “I do hope your new
nappies are as dry as they say.” she said.
“Do I still have to
wear my rubbers with them?” I asked. Mummy said yes. “Oh.” I
said. “They really dig in.” I moaned.
“Well they need to be
snug so they don't leak.” my mother reminded me. She left me alone
to finish off and after drying myself before brushing my teeth, I
shyly returned to my bedroom wearing my new nappy where my mother was
waiting. The all too familiar wry smile swept her face as she looked
me up and down. She beckoned me over and felt the towelling fabric,
squished the padding, patted my backside and checked they were sung
around the waist, before telling me to put a pair of rubbers on.
I pulled them up whilst
she pulled down the zip on the back of my new nightie. It looks far
too prissy for comfort and given the choice I think I'd prefer my
girlie pyjama top and frilly over knickers. Mummy hold it open. It's
like stepping into a leotard that's stitched into a dress. I push my
hands through its short puffed princess sleeves and Mummy fastens the
zip. She turns me to face her and steps back. “It's lovely.” she
said. “Shorter than I expected though.” she added. “Come on,
lets watch the rest of your film.”
I realised just how
short it was when I saw myself in the hallway mirror. “It's far too
short Mummy.” I claimed as I followed her to the lounge.
“It is very short
Gavin.” my mother agreed. “It's a baby-doll nightie and it's
supposed to be short.” she informed me. It was bad enough when I
thought it was just a nightie... now it's called a 'baby doll'
nightie I like it even less. Mummy sat on the sofa and suggested I
sit on the floor between her legs. “Then I can put your hair in
rags whilst we're watching the end of the film.”
The nappy felt like a
cushion when I sat. The nightie barely covered any of my lap. There's
a clear line high on my lap where my suntan begins and ends. Mummy
combs and divides my hair into sections; wrapping each in a length of
fabric. I'm going to look like such a sissy when my hair is all curly
tomorrow, but the process of having it tied in the rags I find
strangely comforting. Once done, Mummy stretched a hairnet over my
head and once the movie had ended, she sent me to bed. “Oh, Gavin.”
she said as I trotted out. “Can you take this up.” she said,
handing me the nanny-cam.
It must have been in
the lounge since Friday when I was prancing about in front of the
ballet DVD, but I can't help but wonder if it was watching me
watching my Disney DVD, whilst Mummy put my hair in rags. I put the
little wi-fi camera between the dolls on my bookshelf and made sure
it could see both my desk and my bed. My mother will no doubt be
watching on her phone at this very moment. I briefly look at my head
in my vanity mirror before shutting my curtains and climbing into
bed. I roll onto my side, shut my eyes and sigh.
My new nappy does feel
different; a little thicker, possibly more dense but the fact I'm
wearing a nappy feels almost normal. It's over two weeks since I've
slept without one and whilst I long to be told I don't need it, I
reckon it'd take a few nights to get used to being without it. I
expect Mummy will leave the plastic sheet on my bed for a while, just
in case.
In the
morning, Mummy asks if I'm dry and I honestly say I don't know. The
lavish application of nappy rash cream feels moist anyway. Mummy
tells me that I’ll be able to tell because the embroidered design
on the front of my nappy is supposed to turn pink when it's wet...
although we won't be able to see until I've taken my nightie off.
“Was it comfortable?” she asked.
“My nappy or my
nightie?”
“Well... both I
guess.”
“I guess.” I
replied. Mummy opened my wardrobe and removed my pale blue play dress
and suggested that I wear it today. “But it's Sunday Mummy.” I
reminded her.
“I know but I though
it might make a nice change to wear something different... and this
is still nice enough for a Sunday.” Mummy claimed. She hung the
dress from the wardrobe door and told me to get myself some clean
underwear and some ankle socks out.
“Can
I wear tights instead of socks today please?” I asked, adding that
they cover up my hairy knees.
“They're
not that hairy.” Mummy said, looking at my legs. “But yes... you
look nice in tights.” She unzipped my nightie and I stepped
out of it. “No leaks.” she said after inspecting it. “But your
flower's gone pink.” she said. My nappy can be seen through my
translucent rubber knickers and the embroidered flower design has
changed from having yellow petals to bright candy pink ones. I guess
the butterfly and bunny rabbit on my other nappies do the same.
After my shower, I
dried myself and removed my shower cap before brushing my teeth. My
hair is still wrapped in rags and covered with ah air net. It looks
really silly and I'm not looking forward to seeing myself with
curls... but at least this time I know they'll wash out before school
tomorrow. Mummy entered the bathroom and asked if I'd put my nappy in
the bucket. Since I had a mouthful of toothpaste, I replied with a
nod. “I'll show you what to do with it after you've brushed your
teeth.” she said. I was embarrassed by her presence. All I’m
wearing are the rags and my hairnet, and now I’ve no hair at all
down there, I feel more naked than ever. “Right.” she said
as I put my toothbrush away. “Fill the sink with hot water...”
she instructed. “...and give your nappy a good rinse.”
“Don't I just put it
in the washing machine?” I quizzed.
“It's not worth putting the machine on for just one nappy."
Mummy told me. “It won't bite.” she said as I hesitantly reached
into my nappy bucket.
“It's wet though.”
I whined.
“And you'll be
washing your hands after you've rinsed all the wee out.” she said.
I suppose I'll have to
do this every morning, I figured as I rinsed the infantile garment.
Squeezing out the water was really hard because it's designed to let
the water in and keep it in. Mummy left and returned with the
packaging. “Ah, there's a knack.” she said, instructing me to
roll it from the back. “Is that easier?” she asked.
“Yes mummy.” I
said. “Thanks.” I added. The water flooded out relatively freely
doing it this way, and Mummy explained that it should be hung from
the back when drying. I gulped at the thought of one of my nappies
hanging from the washing line and my fears must have been written all
over may face.
“Don't worry... it'll
dry it on your radiator.” she said. “No one will see.” she
assured. I had to squash roll the nappy a few times to get all the
liquid out, then do it all again, rinsing it in clean hot water...
then its put to soak for a few hours, and after that, it can go in
the machine for a quick spin before being hung to dry.
Mummy figured that the flower petals will return to yellow when it's
properly dry, but wasn't sure how long it would take.
It didn't seem right
wearing my colourful play dress on a Sunday. Mummy removed my rags
and separated my curls, before putting the VW Beetle slide in my
hair, which echoed the resplendent rows of cars and trucks printed on
my dress. Sunday is a lazy day so I won't be playing in the garden
today. I spent much of the morning reading Anne of Green Gables and
did a little more of my cross stitch sampler, before donning my pinny
and putting my nappy in the washing machine, setting the dial to the
rinse and spin setting. “Will it take ages Mummy?” I asked.
“No it's just a quick
rinse, not a full wash cycle.” she told me, adding that it should
take no longer than about ten minutes. “You can help me wipe down
the kitchen whilst we're waiting.” she added.
Mummy gave me a damp
cloth with which I wiped all the cabinet doors and drawer fronts,
kitchen worktops and even around the sink and draining board too.
According to my mother, it's worth finding a ten minute job to do
rather than idly waiting. The washing machine shudders to a halt and
I take the nappy up to my room. The drying rack that hooks over my
radiator is full of the knickers, socks, tights and training bras
that I laundered yesterday morning. They're all dry so I put them
away before hanging my damp laundered nappy from the rack. As Mummy
unbuttoned my apron, she suggested that tomorrow, I should put my
nappy in the washing machine as son as I get home from school.
“...that way it should be done by the time you've changed into your
play clothes.” she told me.
Come Monday morning, my
routine begins with selecting my play clothes for after school, then
a quick shower is followed by rinsing and wringing out my nappy
before putting it to soak... then its dressed and breakfast and off
to school I go. At some random point, one of my teachers will ask me
to stay back after class when they'll check I’ve still got my
training bra on. When I return home I put my nappy in the washing
machine, change into my play clothes then put the spin dried nappy on
my radiator where it can dry properly... then I have half an hour of
active play which involves fifteen minutes of hopscotch and fifteen
minutes of skipping around the garden. Then I do my homework
assignments, have some supper and help clear up afterwards, then
entertain myself for a while either reading or doing needlepoint
until its time for my bath.
After homework group on
Tuesday, I told Callum that he was right about my mother. “What
about?” he asked.
“When you reckoned
she was preparing me for an outing.” I replied, telling him she
took me to Ashford on Saturday.
“What was you
wearing?” he asked.
“Skirt, blouse, three
inch heels.” I listed, exaggerating my heel height a little.
“You're in three inch
heels already?” he quizzed.
“Yeah... maybe not
quite three inches.” I replied. “But they're high!” I added.
“So you were shopping
for a new dress I guess.” he rightly presumed, adding that there's
'loads' of petticoating stores in Ashford. I had a feeling he'd been
to them and I was right. “Teen Zone's my favourite but Mummy... I
mean, Mum hardly ever lets me get anything from there. She reckons
the styles are too grown up and gets most of my stuff from Boys and
Girls.” he frowned.
“You mean Niñas
y Niños?”
“Yeah... seven year
old styles in teenage sizes.” he sighed. I confessed to being
bought a party dress from Belle-Boiz. “Is it nice?” he asked.
“Not really... I
guess.” I replied. “Apparently...” I changed the subject,
slightly. “...all the boys at the high school in Ashford have to
wear...”
“Yeah I know.” he
interjected. “It was all over the local news a few years ago.”
“Can't imagine going
to a school where everyone's petticoated.” I mused.
“They're not
petticoated like us though.” he retorted. “They don't have all
the girlie stuff or have to go to bed stupidly early.”
“Don't they?” I
quizzed. I felt a little disappointed. Callum told me that it's
'educational' petticoating and I recalled my mother saying the same.
He explained that it's just the school uniform and a handful of
curriculum changes; netball instead of basketball, needlework instead
of metalwork, country dancing instead of cross country running... and
that they don't have to wear training bras or any of the other stuff
either. “Lucky them.” I groaned.
We both knew what he
meant by 'other stuff' and I suddenly remembered that I'll have to
deal with my washable nappy when I get home. I didn't mention it
though. I did however mention that it's my birthday on Saturday and
that I was worried that a surprise party might be in store for me.
“I've asked but they said no... but my mum made such a fuss over
getting me a party dress...”
Callum couldn't really
help me since he's only had one petticoated birthday and that was the
first day he was petticoated. Despite my intrigue, I chose not to
enquire further about his birthday. I did say that it must have been
horrible for him. “Yeah... it was.” he sighed. “But I had it
coming I guess.” he added.
“What did you do?”
I asked.
“Not much really...
loads of little things; staying out late, shoplifting, got into
graffiti.” he shrugged, before asking what I did.
“Nowt.” I shrugged
as we approached the school gates. “Mum just thinks it'll do me
some good.”
“Yeah they keep
saying that.” Callum replied. “Not sure what good it's supposed
to do us.” he sneered.
“Hmmm.” I agreed.
“Even my gran said that.” We went our separate ways at the school
gates and I couldn't help but envy the Ashford boys... all they have
to do is wear a girlie school uniform and everything returns to
normal as soon as they get home whereas I'll be donning my play
clothes and skipping around the garden. However when I did get home,
Mummy informed me that since it's hardly been raining at all this
summer, she's decided that I should dance along with my ballet today.
“Oh but Mummy.” I whined, before instantly apologising after she
gave me that look.
My nappy had been
soaking all day in the sanitising solution. I wrung it out and put it
in the washing machine to rinse, before going up to my room to
change. I'd laid out my play clothes before school but in their place
are my pale pink dance tights, leotard and tutu... and one of my
disposable nappies. My heart sank.
My attire felt totally
inappropriate as I removed my nappy from the washing machine and
trotted upstairs with it. The broad tutu bounced on every step yet
never really flopped. It brushed both sides of my door frame as I
entered my room. A descend the stairs with a little more caution. I
can't see my feet, even when I try to push my plate shaped skirt
down. I'm briefly greeted with my reflection as I pass the hallway
mirror, pausing for a moment. In spite of what my mother says, it's
not a pretty sight.
Mummy had already put a
dining chair in front of the TV for me, and My First Ballet Book was
open at the warm up page. I pressed play on the remote and “OK...
lets get started!” the DVD presenter enthused. I exhaled deeply
through my nostrils as it all came flooding back to me. She told me
how to stand; feet slightly apart, arms in 'demi seconde' (my wrists
hovering over the edge of my tutu). “...reach up... and down.”
she instructed, touching her toes. “...it doesn't matter if you
can't reach your toes yet, just do the best you can, and remember to
keep your legs straight.”
I could feel my nappy
slowly expanding throughout the course of the two video ballet
classes and I just knew that my mother would make me keep it on until
bath time. I could imagine her excuses; you may as well keep it on,
there's no point taking it off, it'd be a waste. However when my
dance along DVD lesson had ended, Mummy said I could go and change
out of my ballerina outfit and my nappy. I asked what to wear and
Mummy said I could wear anything I wanted. I figured that that didn't
include my school uniform, so I donned my rusty brown skirt and brown
plait shirt. “They're supposed to be for gardening.” Mummy said.
“You did say I could
wear anything Mummy.” I defensively whined.
“I did.” she
replied with a smile.
On Thursday, Jason
asked if it was my birthday this weekend and a reluctantly said yes.
“You doing owt?” he asked.
“I hope not.” I
replied, reminding him that its on Saturday which means I’d be
wearing a dress. “...and I’m not going to invite you round.” I
said. “Soz.” I added.
“That's OK.” Jason
replied, before telling me that his cousin Peter always wears a
really prissy party dress when it's his birthday.
“He'll be used to it
though... I'm not.” I grumbled. “Does he have parties?”
“Not really... me and
mum go round, and our other cousins Jenny & James and our uncle &
aunt.” Jason replied.
“Does he get loads of
girlie presents?”
“Yeah.”
“I'm worried I will
too... but I'm only supposed to be petticoated for another week so
I'm hoping I won't.” I said.
“There'd be no
point.” Jason claimed.
I hope he's right.
On Thursday evening I
finally finished my cross stitch sampler and since it was so close to
my birthday, my mother said it would be nice if I put that date
instead of today’s. I decided against putting a pac-man theme
around the border and stuck to space invaders. Mummy wasn't keen on
me putting 'take me to your leader' at the bottom, so I put some
space invader bunkers instead along with the laser cannon. My mother
was a little bemused with the retro video game theme and didn't 'get'
the bunkers. She couldn't fathom why one was unfinished and when I
explained that the missing bits are where the bunker has been blasted
by the invaders' bombs, Mummy reminded me that petticoating is
supposed to move me away from such destructive themes. She did let me
leave them though. I was as proud as punch with my sampler and
couldn't wait to show it to Granny.
On Friday it began to
drizzle as I walked home from school. “Oh but I did ballet on
Tuesday Mummy.” I whined when she told me to put my tutu on. She
hadn't laid my ballerina outfit out. It was all packed up in the big
round tutu case and I felt really hard done by having to wear it
again so soon... it's not even raining that much. A broad grim swept
my mother's face as I passed through the kitchen to the utility room.
A moment later I returned with last night's damp yet laundered nappy.
“Did you put a nappy on?” my mother asked.
“Yes Mummy.” I
meekly replied.
“Good boy.” she
said.
I spent forty minutes
following the warm up routine and one of several beginners dance
routines on the DVD. There's a strong chance that the nanny-cam is
watching me from somewhere and I know I can't get away with not
trying. I still can't touch my toes but can reach a little further
down my shins. It's really hard to see what my feet are doing because
my tutu's in the way. Now I know why ballet dancers always practise
in front of a huge mirror. The dance routine is boring yet
exhausting; It begins with the first position and goes straight to
the fourth, then a little skip to the left combined with a gesture,
then a jump to the right followed by another gesture and repeat from
fourth about twenty times and finally finish in fifth, then back to
first. The second part is the same, only with the skip to the right
and a jump to the left. My First Ballet Book has some background
information on all the routines on the DVD and Mummy said it's
important to read about them. Today's little routine is taken from
the snowflakes dance in a ballet called The Nutcracker, it says.
“You can go and
change if you want.” Mummy said after I'd finished today's active
play session. I donned the play clothes I would have worn had it not
been raining; box pleated short culottes, white blouse and white knee
socks, plus my heeled Mary Jane’s. I spend an hour or so on my
homework assignments before going downstairs where Mummy was making
supper. She asked if I’d completed my homework.
“Yes Mummy.” I
replied.
“Now... seeing as
it's your birthday tomorrow, why don't you do your laundry now.”
she suggested, adding that it would mean tomorrow would be a chore
free day. It made sense to me so I fetched my laundry hamper down and
sorted the whites from the darks and coloureds. I knotted the legs of
my tights, put my training bras into a mesh wash bag and bunged them
in with the rest of my whites.
The washing machine
purred into action. I left it, knowing that the white cycle takes
around ninety minutes. “What are you doing now?” Mummy asked as I
passed through the kitchen, and I replied saying that I'd read my
book for a while. “Anne of Green Gables?”
“No I finished that
one.” I said, adding that I'm now reading A Little Princess. Mummy
asked if I was enjoying it. “It's OK... not much has happened yet
though.” I said, adding that Granny had recommended it.
“Can we have a little
chat first?”
“Erm... yes.” I
replied. I sat at the table and Mummy sat opposite. “I'm not in
trouble am I?” I asked.
“Of course not.”
she smiled. “Do you remember when I first mentioned petticoating,
and I said we'd give it a month long trial to see how you got on?”
“Yes.”
“Well... how do you
think you've got on?” she asked.
“OK I guess.” I
timidly answered. “I've done everything you asked.” I defensively
added.
“You have, and more.”
Mummy said. “In fact I think you've done so well over that last
three weeks that we should carry on as normal after next weekend.”
she suggested. “How would you feel about that?”
“You mean...?” I
gulped. What's normal? Is that being petticoated or not being
petticoated? Mum waited patiently for me to complete my question.
“...I carry on being petticoated?” I meekly asked. Mummy nodded.
“How long for?”
“Well that depends...
normally petticoating continues through adolescence.” tells me,
adding that I started 'late' which means I’m already halfway
through.
“Erm...” I said,
considering the prospect. “I'd rather not be Mummy. I mean... I
don't mind my clothes so much, but I hate having to wear nappies for
bed.”
“Well you're asleep
for most of that time... and you did say your new nappies are much
dryer than your disposable ones.”
“I know but... I’d
still rather not have wear them at all.” I replied.
“Well I suppose you
and every other petticoatee has that in common.”
“Yeah.” I glumly
agreed, thinking immediately of Callum and then Jason's cousin.
“From where I'm
sitting, I see no reason why we shouldn't carry on.”
“But it's horrible
having to wear nappies.” I sulked. “That's one reason.” I said.
“And I'd rather wear boys clothes when I get home from school...
and I hate doing ballet.”
“Yet there's been no
tears, no tantrums... and I've not once had to battle you into a
nappy.” she said. “I know you don't like them but you know why
you wear them.”
“I know why you think
I should wear them Mummy but I know that I don't need them.” I
retorted. “I'm fourteen tomorrow.”
“OK then... let's say
you don't have to wear a nappy tonight...can you be certain that you
won't wet the bed?”
“Yeah.” I
cautiously claimed. Mummy asked if I was sure. I gulped. “Noo.” I
cautiously admitted.
“So you do know why
you need them.” she said. I gulped and nodded. “And as for your
clothes, most of them are boy's clothes.” she reckoned,
listing my knickers and training bras, my handmade dresses and the
party dress I'll be wearing tomorrow. “The only actual girl's
clothes you have are the skirt and blouse from the charity shop, your
ra-ra skirt and your shoes.”
“There's my tutu
too.” I moaned, before trying to stifle a smile.
“A tutu too.” Mummy
grinned.
“It's not funny.” I
grumbled. I decided not to add 'mummy' for obvious reasons.
“You enjoyed doing
your cross-stitch sampler... and we've been enjoying our princess
movie nights.” she said. “...and the reports from your teachers
at school are all very favourable.” she added, stating that it's
too early to tell if my grades have improved but that there's no sign
of them slipping. “I'm yet to hear of a petticoated boy who doesn't
leave school with straight As.” she told me.
“I'm sure there's
boys who are petticoated who do too.”
“Who do too.” Mummy
teased. I stuck out my lip. She apologised before stressing that my
high school education is a once in a lifetime opportunity, something
to take seriously and not to waste. “The problem with adolescence
is your mind's all over the place. Petticoating helps you focus.”
she claimed.
“I had a feeling you
were going to do something like this.” I grumbled. “Callum said
your four week trial was just a ploy to get me started.”
“Who's Callum?”
Mummy asked.
“A boy in my class.”
I glumly replied. It wasn't long before she'd coaxed everything out
of me regarding Callum and Jason's cousin Peter. Mum said it was nice
that I've got some petticoated friends. “They're not friends.” I
claimed. “Callum's just a boy in my class... I don't know him that
well.” I said. “And I’ve never even met Jason's cousin.” I
added.
I knew I should never
have told Mummy about Callum, but it was only a matter of time I
guess. I knew he was right about my four week trial... and deep down
I suspected that from the beginning. There's no way my mother was
spending all that money on my books, bedding, DVDs and dresses just
for a few weeks. Mummy told me that she was worried that I'd feel as
if I was alone, but knowing that I know one other petticoatee and
know of another one makes her feel a lot better. “I'm also
impressed that you confided in Jason.” she said. “I've always
said that it's nothing to be ashamed of... and you must admit that
boy's clothes are a bit boring compared to nice girlie clothes.”
she added.
“I like boring
clothes.” I grumbled.
“You're just scared
of a few frills and bows... if you could step outside yourself you'd
be able to see how nice you look.” she said, focusing her gaze on
my blouse. I hung my head and looked at my attire. I already know how
nice it is... the problem is that it's too nice, especially for a
boy. “What does Callum say about his clothes?” she asked.
“He doesn't like them
either.” I claimed, adding that when Callum gets home from school,
he has to wear the girl's uniform whilst doing his homework. “...and
he says he prefers it because it's the only thing he's got that isn't
something a seven year old would wear.”
“So he likes some
of his clothes then... just like you do.” Mummy retorted.
There she goes,
twisting things. She reminded me that I 'like' my Sunday dress, but
all I said was that I preferred it to my play dress, and that
I 'like' my rara skirt when really I said I liked it's longer length
compared to my really short skirts. She reminded me that I'd chosen
my own party dress so must have liked that... but I just wanted to
get the shopping trip over and done with. “I preferred that sailor
dress.” I grumped.
“I know you did...
but it wasn't really a party dress was it.” Mummy said.
“Am I going to get
loads of girl stuff tomorrow?” I gulped.
“Well you won't be
getting much because we don't spoil petticoated boys... so don't
expect 'loads' of anything.” she said. “...and your main present
is your party dress remember.”
Oh cripes, I thought.
I’m going to be asked what I got for my birthday at school next
week and I really don't want to say 'a new dress'. I sighed, then
huffed, and even puffed. “So... if I’m going to be petticoated
for 'ever'... do I still have to call you Mummy all the time?” I
asked.
“Rules are rules
Gavin.” my mother told me, before adding that it certainly won't be
for 'ever'..
“But... I've only
been calling you Mummy so you didn't add any extra days.”
“Well the rules are
going to remain the same Gavin.” Mummy told me. “...but the
consequences of breaking them will change.” she said. “Now we
both know that you like your knickers more than you do your
nappies... so if you're planning on being disobedient...”
My mother left me to
work the rest out for myself. “And what if I don't want to be
petticoated?”
“You didn't want to
be petticoated from the outset Gavin, and look how far you've come.”
my mother replied. “Granny didn't want me to petticoat you either
but she's come round to the idea.” she added. “And at the end of
the day Gavin you're still a child which means the choice isn't yours
to make.” she informed me. “Now... shall we get your pinny on
then you can help Mummy with supper?” she asked. I screwed up my
face and sighed a disgruntled sigh. “...or are you going to get all
sulky?” she quizzed. “Which means you might find yourself
spending your birthday wearing your first daytime nappy.” she said.
Save to say I didn't
spend my birthday wearing a nappy... but I did wear my party dress
and Granny came to visit and she was most impressed with my
cross-stitch sampler, which Mummy had got framed so I can hang it
above my dressing table. I didn't get many gifts but they were all
girlie gifts. I got some nail varnish and a make-up kit, a new pair
of shoes with wobbly kitten heels and much to my surprise, the navy
blue sailor dress from Belle-Boiz in Ashford. I was sent cards and
vouchers by my aunts, uncles and family friends... and all of my
birthday cards featured girlie designs.
I also received a
Barbie stationery set and a diary with my name printed in glittery
pink letters on its fluffy pale pink cover. Mummy points out that
it's my very own personalised diary and the first page is today's
date; my birthday. I can write down what I did at school, what I did
in my active play sessions, what I wore during the daytime and at
bedtime and my thoughts for the day. I've never kept a diary before
and have never had any interest in doing so, but Mummy tells me that
all petticoated boys keep a diary. “This time next year you'll be
able to look back all the way to your first petticoat birthday.”
she said. The way she said it suggested that today is the first of
many petticoat birthdays. Not too many I hope!
Sorry this one took so long... but at around 48,000 words, it took quite a while to finish. Note to self... stick to short stories! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a simply wonderful story....Loved every bit of it and so well put together.
DeleteWill there be any more added to it? Instead of home work class maybe he and Callum get to join the girls PE class and have to join in netball practise....Wearing gym slips to play in of course.
Thank you for this story which I am sure I will read again soon as I just loved it so so much.
Thank you Lucas. I can confirm that there will not be a second part to this story... it's far too long as it is :)
DeleteWell then I look forward to your next one with eager anticipation.
DeleteI enjoy all the stories on this site.
This story was worth the wait. The details are excellent. It needed to be long to get in so many stages. I’m thoroughly enjoying the couple hours reading so far.
ReplyDeleteIt was well worth the wait! What a lovely story, thank you!
ReplyDeleteWell Werth the wait for this. I really liked it and look forward to seeing what you come up with next.
ReplyDeleteVery nice story, thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your comments :)
ReplyDeleteOnce again an excellet story. Look forward always to your stories.. Thank you so much for sharing your precious gift of writing with us.
ReplyDeleteI loved this story are you working on any more stories
ReplyDeleteThank you... and yes. :)
DeleteHaving just read this again I thoroughly enjoyed it just as much as before , was not surprised to read that Gavin's mummy has decided to continue with his petticoating but got such a shock at the end when I saw what he was wearing it was absolutely gorgeous & he looked stunning in it.
DeleteAnother long awaited excellent story, I have been drawn back to reading it over the last few days, whenever I could, and found it a fascinating portrayal of a life style of which I feel could benefit a lot of the youngsters who appear to have lost their way in society today. ( Or am I just jealous to have missed the experience ) Well done.
ReplyDeleteLupin x
Aw, come on PJ, please don't let this story just 'hang'. I can appreciate it has been a magnus opus, but it is unfinished. I don't know about the other readers, but I want, I need' to know how this story develops. Ballet is on the horizon, but what of other pursuits. He can't join Scouts, because his bedtime is too early, (he's going to bed as some scout troops are just staring), but perhaps his mother could find a suitably accepting brownie pack (with traditional brownie uniform of course). Then there's tennis, cheerleading, all of which subjects him to the constant worry of being 'outed'. And of course, quite apart from your writing skills, your photoshop skills could produce some great pictures and illustrations. At the moment it is really frustrating, I keep coming back to read the rest of the story, and it's just not there!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words :)
DeleteI think nine out of ten of my stories just hang. I do it deliberately (sorry). On the one hand, my limitations as a writer means i'm not good at plots or endings... on the other, I like leaving them hanging at a point where there's no going back for the protagonist, yet there's still so much ahead.
Sometimes I'll add a second part to a story but I doubt that's going to happen here. The story is about his trial period rather than anything after it.
A good thing by letting a story hang like this, is that it give the reader an opportunity to continue the story in his or her head and give it an ending, they think the main character deserves.
DeleteI really enjoyed the story - thanks for writing it up. I was expecting more of a climax from the birthday party though, maybe something along the lines of Congratulations, you're 7 years old. Here's the whole family & everyone from school to wish you a happy birthday in your pretty party dress
ReplyDeleteTypos:
ReplyDeleteInsert "making" in:
"Mum smiled and suggested the possibility of us one."
Good story. No need to publish this.
Thank you... the typo corrections are appreciated. Every time I re-read an old story I find far too many of them :)
DeleteThis is simply one of the best stories, by anyone on this subject. Essential reading. It inspired me to start my blog. More like this! (Please).
ReplyDeleteThank you Terry. I had a look at your blog... your head-swaps and 'photoshops' are excellent! Keep up the good work :)
DeleteI hope you don't mind me posting the URL so other readers can have a look
idontwanttowearit.blogspot.com
I loved this story but was very well written congratulations carry on the good work
ReplyDelete